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Description
The last submission in my gallery that isn't a screenshot or photo edit was submitted on December 11, 2017. My interest in/passion for ponies or just art in general had been fading for a long time before then, and after that I just...stopped drawing for a while. It was some combination of burnout, feeling trapped in the same spot while everyone around me seemed to be progressing through life with no issue, general life happenings, general feelings of inadequacy, and a dose of impostor syndrome on top of it all (and of course the dinosaur game mmiiiiigghhht've played a small part in it...maybe ). I fell into the trap of comparing my art to other people's, and for two years whenever I doodled anything I ended up hating it. So I just didn't doodle much. Every now and then I'd get the random urge to draw something, but I'd end up either overthinking it until the moment passed or end up hating what came out again, so the whole cycle would repeat and I'd just fall deeper into listlessness. It became...almost comforting, like my new normal. I was content to just wallow there indefinitely, browsing through art that I could never hope to match in skill level and hiding behind my own depression like it was a veil. Because for a long time it was.

Then yesterday something...changed. Still don't know what, but I woke up at 9am with an idea, and spent all day drawing, for the first time in a long time. At first it felt...foreign. Just...drawing. Readjusting to drawing on a tablet took a little bit to get used to again. The idea was a pony character that's just one big pun, and between bouts of overwhelming insecurity, giggle fits, actual legit tears because this one pose wasn't working, looking up references in my Favorites, then hating myself for doing so because look at how effortlessly these people draw ponies that look good why can't my ponies look like this- I remembered just how fun creating was. Even if it was a horrible pun. Especially if it was a horrible pun. If I can't make people laugh with my art then what even is the point? Writing Journals and Status Updates about political opinions and hiding existential listlessness behind memes and shitposts isn't funny. Funny is that I really thought I'd never find my spark again, but then a vision of a pony whose night job was a stripper drifted into my head and that was what made me pick up my stylus.

God knows how long the creative bug will stick around this time. My muse might've very well moved to the Bahamas and my head is now her summer home instead of the other way around. God knows if I'll end up drawing more ponies or more mythos things or dinosaurs or dragons or whatever else.

Description
The last submission in my gallery that isn't a screenshot or photo edit was submitted on December 11, 2017. My interest in/passion for ponies or just art in general had been fading for a long time before then, and after that I just...stopped drawing for a while. It was some combination of burnout, feeling trapped in the same spot while everyone around me seemed to be progressing through life with no issue, general life happenings, general feelings of inadequacy, and a dose of impostor syndrome on top of it all (and of course the dinosaur game mmiiiiigghhht've played a small part in it...maybe ). I fell into the trap of comparing my art to other people's, and for two years whenever I doodled anything I ended up hating it. So I just didn't doodle much. Every now and then I'd get the random urge to draw something, but I'd end up either overthinking it until the moment passed or end up hating what came out again, so the whole cycle would repeat and I'd just fall deeper into listlessness. It became...almost comforting, like my new normal. I was content to just wallow there indefinitely, browsing through art that I could never hope to match in skill level and hiding behind my own depression like it was a veil. Because for a long time it was.

Then yesterday something...changed. Still don't know what, but I woke up at 9am with an idea, and spent all day drawing, for the first time in a long time. At first it felt...foreign. Just...drawing. Readjusting to drawing on a tablet took a little bit to get used to again. The idea was a pony character that's just one big pun, and between bouts of overwhelming insecurity, giggle fits, actual legit tears because this one pose wasn't working, looking up references in my Favorites, then hating myself for doing so because look at how effortlessly these people draw ponies that look good why can't my ponies look like this- I remembered just how fun creating was. Even if it was a horrible pun. Especially if it was a horrible pun. If I can't make people laugh with my art then what even is the point? Writing Journals and Status Updates about political opinions and hiding existential listlessness behind memes and shitposts isn't funny. Funny is that I really thought I'd never find my spark again, but then a vision of a pony whose night job was a stripper drifted into my head and that was what made me pick up my stylus.

God knows how long the creative bug will stick around this time. My muse might've very well moved to the Bahamas and my head is now her summer home instead of the other way around. God knows if I'll end up drawing more ponies or more mythos things or dinosaurs or dragons or whatever else.