Comments: 60
vaelroth [2004-04-02 01:47:13 +0000 UTC]
Interesting end, though I don't agree with it. I personally would have phrased a final question, but your approach did bring a sense of finality to the poem. Good job.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
xhileno [2004-03-23 17:41:24 +0000 UTC]
uhh? I thought I commented on this, ... yes, i did, *scrolls up* yessssmmmm... i did so. i love the poem though, good thing to read it again.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
fucklife [2004-03-10 01:32:10 +0000 UTC]
I LOVED it up to the last line and then the 'YES' kind of killed it for me, i would have loved if you just left it as a question, but maybe this is just me.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
sycros [2004-03-06 09:30:36 +0000 UTC]
I don't think it's sappy but very romantic. Your last couple poems have made me think of my own girlfriend. The way your writing has been adaptable to me and probably others is something unique. You have a talent. Although, the last line, Yes., seems a little dead, if you know what I mean.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
megabytemonster [2004-03-05 19:33:28 +0000 UTC]
Very nice poem. I agree with the previous comment though, the ending is too simplistic.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
rebelrebel [2004-03-05 15:51:48 +0000 UTC]
Wow... it's sappy in a good way. I like it. But I'm a sappy guy.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
diamondie [2004-03-05 14:39:48 +0000 UTC]
Indeed a sappy and cheesy piece, really lacking originality. Could do with less repetition and more imagery, like the ocean and the wall of mist. Many of the lines would sound much more poetic with removal of some words and some editing, like "Can you know someone you've never met" could become "knowing without having met", but that would change the poem a lot, of course. I liked the title, Atlantic.
I'm not a big fan of poetry that asks question and answers them in the end, it feels like underestimating of the reader. Questions don't always have to be answered and if they are, it shouldn't be the simplest way possible.
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
diamondie In reply to Melbel [2004-03-06 14:43:42 +0000 UTC]
I do like poetry a lot, it's rather silly to claim I don't. I just don't like all kinds of poetry. It's like saying "You don't like Metallica, that means you don't like music at all."
I don't see any reason to get down because of my comment, it was just honest and constructive feedback. I'll try reading more from ~hereticschizoid later.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
| Next =>