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ilolamai — Hole 15 Par 4
Published: 2012-04-18 14:57:04 +0000 UTC; Views: 11248; Favourites: 549; Downloads: 408
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Description
Hole 15/par 4/385 yards.New golf ball and course.We use light ball and play in the city.The ball doesn't damage building or hit people because it's light,it doesn't have mass.
We don't have to cut many trees to build golf courses.Just put sensors on rooftops and play.
Program: SAI Paint Tool
Any critique is welcome(thank you anonymous for giving me 3 months membership)
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Comments: 203
Hahaha.Your critique is not short as you said.
Thank you very much for your critique,compliment and suggestion.I read it all and i will remember that.My picture always has some mistakes and i'm trying to correct them.Next time,I will to do better than this.
It's only in game,i think.But who knows....
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It happens. I'm sorry. xD;
Hell yeah, that's the spirit! ouob Good luck in your journey of improvement, my comrade.
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First of all,I just want to say that the picture looks simply amazing.i love the whole concept to it,the playing golf on the building and the city.
First of all,I'll talk about the people.They anatomy and the way you drew them are spot on,they look really great and i love how much detail you put to even the smallest bit of clothing.
Secondly the background,I'm just speechless.The background is truly mesmerizing.The detail is truly astonishing,the texture of the greenery look great,the buildings look great and you even made the sky look amazing too!
I honestly cant find a anything wrong with the picture,The way you drew it all is amazing,maybe just a few textures E.g the grass could be slightly improved but worry not,As it looks great without it!
You must be proud of this,Congratulations and well done for such a great piece!
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Thank you very much for your compliment,rating and suggestion.I will remember that.Next time i will draw grass myself,don't use texture like this.
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I'd honestly say that a few things do not really benefit the context.
The player's position feels unnatural; the way she's holding the club doesn't give the typical, swing-like impression, because the club should normally be tilted towards the left, or (by that point) towards the back of the character performing the swing.
There's also the lady in the foreground; she's nice and all (save for the fact that her right hand's fingers seem smaller than those of the other hand's), but I feel that she's a bit of a turn-off, she seems unrelated to the context. She's casually watching in a completely different direction.
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Thank you very much for your critique.It looks strange because i didn't find enough reference picture of golf player to see.I will try to do better next time.Thanks.
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Your pictures are really good but one problem. The color is a little pale it's not very bright.
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I see.Thank you very much for your critique.I will remember that.
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Such details on background and sharp perspective. The horizon knows no limits.
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that could break a window......Have fun! lol jk
I love it!
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Hahaha.
I'm glad that you love it.
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Great composition and perspective, and all the details on the city are amazing. Great work !
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Wow! The perspective is just incredible, and this is such a fun idea! Reminds me of Scrubs where they play golf off the hospital roof. ;D Great job!
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Thank you very much chii.
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Great job on the perspective. I guess if you break a window its a 1 stroke penalty and hitting a pigeon gives you an automatic birdie for the hole
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Thank you very much.Hahaha,that's nice idea^^
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Forgive me... 'cuz I am going to criticize some aspect of your works.
And I'm not doing it because I don't like your work; In fact, I'm doing it because I care about your work.
I've seen most of your works and all of it displayed amazing details to everything, and I think that's your main strong point.
However I also think that your lineart is still too thick, and that results in objects and characters incapable of blending smoothly. In here, it's especially visible in the furthest background. The buildings still look detached from the sky.
Buildings that far away should have very thin to no lines visible, and progressively become bluer (become one with the sky) the farther it is. With the exception of brightly colored large structure (like Tokyo Tower), no other color should be visible in that range.
The clouds also still don't look too... hmm.... how to say it..... developed, I guess. 
Perhaps you can paint large white blobs first than use SAI's Exchange Normal/ Transparent color (that [-] shortcut) to carve it to your liking. It's the technique Makoto Shinkai frequently uses in his clouds.
I think *pcmaniac88 's Rooftop View is a great example of how cityscape seen from these angle would look like.
The last thing is, perhaps you'll want to work more on the clothes' folds. IMHO, it still doesn't look convincing. Folds on clothes are extremely variable in look, with soft edges, hard edges, sharp angles, blunt angles.... but I'm sure you know more of it than I do.
Again, I apologize if I sound like a smartass who doesn't know what he's talking about. There's not much artists like you who already have lots of fans and showered with glowing praises, but still remember that ultimately, every artists are just humans with their flaws, and need to improve on it.
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Thank you very much for your critique and suggestion lazy-remnant.
About line art.Now i'm trying to change my line art as you told,i try to make it soften by using pencil.
The clouds,i will remember that,i will try to make it look better next time.
The clothes folds,now i'm practicing a different style,hope it will look better.
No,you don't need to apologized.I want critique and you gave this very useful critique to me.I have to say thank you.Thank you very much.I hope you will have time to see my picture again next time^^
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Another lovely picture! I have a little advice: You can make the lines seem less sharp by blurring the picture slightly in Photoshop.
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Thanks for your advice.I will do that.
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