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IndigoSkyes — Not Beautiful, Not in Love
Published: 2009-12-29 18:20:24 +0000 UTC; Views: 3021; Favourites: 105; Downloads: 43
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Description
i.I am not beautiful.
I have told you this before.
I am not beautiful,
But they say it doesn't matter.
ii.
What I do:
Dance (badly),
Sing (worse),
Talk (fast),
Wish (ardently)
Dream (hopelessly)
iii.
"Inner beauty" is the mantra
(I must say it to myself until I believe it)
But it doesn't seem to be working.
Because, as I have discovered the hard way,
Too many people aren't all that interested
In "inner beauty."
iv.
He paints beauties.
Nymphs and fairies and angels
Girls with smooth skin and flowing hair,
In dresses and heels and lipstick.
They are so very perfect in every way
And so very very empty.
But, as you know, "inner beauty"
Never sells. So outer beauty
Will have to do.
v.
The other girls, with their long-lashed eyes,
Glossy hair, flawless complexions, and
Legs that go on forever,
Have told me to find a boy.
A boy who won't mind that I'm not beautiful.
Maybe someone who's blind, they simper.
It's rather wearing to pretend I don't care.
But for a girl with too many
Less-than-perfect hair days,
Among many other things,
I can adapt fairly well, I guess.
vi.
I will never fall in love.
Love makes people stupid, have you noticed?
They do the craziest and nonsensical things
When they're in love.
If that's what it's like,
I'm never going to let it happen to me.
vii.
The boy who paints beauties is in love.
He's in love with the waning full moon,
Star dust motes floating across the sky,
Silky lakes, gasping wind, and always always
The burgeoning, burning passion of painting.
He knows love makes people crazy,
But he doesn't care.
viii.
I've never been kissed.
ix.
The boy who paints beauties saw her yesterday.
He wanted to paint her.
But he did not want to sell her.
She was too...
He didn't know, really.
It was ineffable. Something he hadn't seen before.
Maybe that's what caught him off guard.
He still wanted to paint her.
x.
I wish I was pretty.
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Comments: 183
it's a poem thats very likeable! XD
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I don't believe it sounds whiny, the narrator doesn't want to get hurt I think, she wants to find someone who won't break her heart if she gives it to a boy, she wants a boy who will cherish and protect it as well as return the affection. I think this was done very well, with how everyone can feel insecure about how they look or constantly compare themselves to others. It's normal, but later on you learn it's pointless and you have to know regardless you are beautiful, love yourself, eventually someone will walk into your life and love you too. So again great piece, and just by reading this I can tell that you have a gorgeous inner beauty, and to be honest, I like smart girls.
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Thank you so much.
And thanks for the fave!
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i can really relate to this piece. it's pretty cool - the way your persona feels about love is the same way i feel about love. the way she thinks of herself is almost the same way i feel about myself. and the boy she is into (though she won't admit it) . . . well, i think we've all met at least one boy like that, at some point in our lives.
this really caught my attention because it was very relatable. that last line, "i wish i was pretty" . . . i think most, if not all girls have felt that way. you wrote a poem that was very unique yet at the same time had a universal theme that everyone could understand and think, "hey, i know how that feels." 
i don't think it sounds whiny at all. it does sound like the persona is pining for something she won't admit to, but it's not whiny. i really liked this poem.
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Thank you so much!
I really appreciate it.
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Great piece. I love the way it's written.
Comments:
Too many people aren't all that interested
In "inner beauty." --this line, i think, is fallacious.
Love makes people stupid, have you noticed?
They do the craziest and nonsensical things
When they're in love. --wrong notion about love.
Hephep!
I know i'm too judgemental,
But I'm judging the speaker of your poem and not you... which i think is "our society" today.
So narcissistic and egoistic!
Makes me want to punch everyone's head who thinks love is so shallow!
^__^ (ehem, i lost my coolness there)
anyway,
Compliments for your nice piece.
Content: 98/100 (-2 is somewhere in my ego)
Craft: 99/100 (-1 because no is perfect)
Godbless!
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Thank you very much!
I appreciate the feedback.
And thank you for both the fave and the watch!
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And I wish I could write like you.
I could "see" and "feel" almost everything while reading it....
Good work.
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Thank you!
And thanks so much for the fave.
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You are welcome..I truly loved it..
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This is really deep. A lot of people can relate to this, even guys, because they get pressured as well.
I love it
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I like the title because it has two seperate ideas that are often linked together and I think it's something that sombody sees and thinks "I think I can relate to that feeling" right away. I lvoed stanza two, it was a different feel and I didn't find it cheesy at all and I think tis because of teh words you chose (mostly ardently, great word choice). I liek this and I think the "angst" part is dead on, it isn't whiny in fact its a bit more subtle than many teen angst poems i read (which is very good, some go a little overboard sometimes). I'm not a fan of the "i, ii, iii" but I don't think stanza 8 and 10 would ahve teh same effect without them, so it goes both ways for me, I jsut feel when you ahve "part one, part two" its harder for readers to connect it all teogher and sort of stops teh flow, however in a longer piece (and one written like this in taht the stanzas don't flow perfectly) it gives the reader more of a break than jsut simply adding a new stanza.
Some places get a little wordy I think you could perhaps go through this and take a pen to it and see if you can minimize some of teh smaller words in places. On teh msot part you pay very good attentino to your line breaks and your punctuation is good. Ir eally like waht you did with the punctuation and line brek in thsi line: "Glossy hair, flawless complexions, and" typically we don't want to end a line with a word like "and" but I like to do it sometime, especialy if you add a comman before it to add emphasis and it gieves it a better effect turning it from a simple word to something more weighty.
I'm not usre if you need the "..." in this line: "She was too..." I don't think it really has the effect you want it to ahve, I think using a comma or a semi-colon would work much better. As well I liek that while this is written in first person adn using opins and showing her thoughts you've really balanced out how often you use pronouns, its ahrd to keep them to a minimum somtimes and I feel you did that very successfully in this piece.
From the founder of #The-Writers-Review
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Thank you for the critique!
It's very much appreciated and helpful.
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you bet, glad to be of some help ^^
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You are such a talented writer.
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Thank you so much!
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Im not a really big fan of reading, but I could read this over and over again. This was absolutely beautiful.
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Ok so I'm from #The-Writers-Review and I'm supposed to critique this, but I can't because I can't find anything I would even suggest changing. I really love this. I think it's more than just teen-angst, I think this is something almost any woman can relate to. Beautiful.
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Thank you so so so much. I am flattered.
And thanks for the fave!
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I think it's very well written.
It seems like you've caught all the fears a young woman has, and even the denial.
It's not whiny at all, but you've probably heard that more than enough times
I like how it's not about the usual things either, it's a little different from other poetry and is insightful into the world of a young girl.
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I love this whole piece! I love the way it's structured, and the message it brings up to the reader! It's beautiful! :favlove:
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Thank you so much! And thank you for the fave!
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Thank you!
And thanks for the fave!
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you're welcome!! i loved it
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I love vii. Its just perfect. The entire piece is lovely lovely. Its simple and easy to relate to. <3
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You're more than welcome. ^_^
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this is very good, in a hurting heart sort of way. i think this is the sort of thing that everyone feels; some for longer than others, i suppose.
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Thank you.
Yeah, it's a bunch of teen angst that I'll outgrow soon enough.
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After that, you get the existential worries of being an adult, followed by the potential for midlife crises, and then the angst of being old. And, as one of the great masters of philosophy once said, the only people who get nostalgic about the joys of childhood are the ones who were obviously never children.
Teen angst seems pretty ok in comparison. Don't grow up too fast.
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I see I have a whole lot to look forward to. How cheerful.
I won't. You either, okay? No matter how old you are, you can still be a child, too.
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Oh don't you worry about me. I always tell people that the best part of growing up is being able to reach higher branches. My main priorities haven't changed to much over the years.
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I couldn't tell you what it was, but I really liked how you wrote this, and it rings true or a lot of people.
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