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JazzLizard — Bloodbath [NSFW]

Published: 2011-12-01 05:28:08 +0000 UTC; Views: 4697; Favourites: 107; Downloads: 306
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Description This is 's OC Cream, and my half of an art trade with the talented dude-man.
She's a vampire queen a billion years old, and kinda loves blood. Doesn't matter the type, just as long as it's Red Delicious.

Enjoy!

Edit: Since people keep noting/commenting on this, when I say she's "a billion years old", please stop and think for a second about the rest of my art. This does not mean she was born a billion years ago when microbes had just learned to blink, maybe she was born today, and this picture is set a billion years in the future? Maybe she lives in another dimension, where 'humans' have been around for a very long time? Use your imagination a bit before calling me out on "inaccuracies."
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Comments: 55

JazzLizard In reply to ??? [2012-07-09 14:10:06 +0000 UTC]

Well good!

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SwirlyArt-ish In reply to JazzLizard [2012-07-10 00:48:53 +0000 UTC]

quite! <3

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BrentOGara [2012-05-26 01:37:12 +0000 UTC]

Well now you're just ruining all our fun! how can you expect nerds on teh intarwebs to "Use your imagination a bit before calling me out on 'inaccuracies.'"???

I really like her design... and the huge pool of blood is cool too.

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JazzLizard In reply to BrentOGara [2012-06-30 01:22:44 +0000 UTC]

Lol, I just think it's silly when people take stuff like this seriously enough to call me out XD
And yes, she's a cool char

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Chinesesocal [2012-05-17 02:36:17 +0000 UTC]

oooo

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JazzLizard In reply to Chinesesocal [2012-05-18 00:45:07 +0000 UTC]

Oooh indeed, this was a fun pic and I actually have a new picture of her in the works!

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Chinesesocal In reply to JazzLizard [2012-05-18 02:37:33 +0000 UTC]

Can't wait!

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Jenova-Loz [2012-05-06 00:37:11 +0000 UTC]

This is SOOOO AWESOME!!!!!

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JazzLizard In reply to Jenova-Loz [2012-05-06 15:46:58 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for thinking so, man!

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Jenova-Loz In reply to JazzLizard [2012-05-06 16:07:33 +0000 UTC]

Your welcome

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Tafuri42 [2012-02-24 22:32:57 +0000 UTC]

I love the contrast on this one. Tip: Blood is thick enough not to leave clean spots as it runs down so the wet under part of her should probly be all 'unbroken" red.

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JazzLizard In reply to Tafuri42 [2012-05-04 02:03:34 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, but making her one unbroken swath of red wouldn't look nearly as cool as I think this version does.

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iip1980 [2012-01-22 13:21:03 +0000 UTC]

Ubique specatverunt, ibi erat sanguinem.
Et erat bonam.
Et ad ei vultui ridibus ludeverunt.

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JazzLizard In reply to iip1980 [2012-01-23 15:47:48 +0000 UTC]

Blood everywhere

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Violating19b [2012-01-22 10:02:40 +0000 UTC]

Now that is a real bloodbath... Erzabet would approve!

I just have one little criticism... if she's a billion years old then she's from a race of humanoid beings which arose in the Stenian period of the late Mesoproterozoic Era... and would likely have lived somewhere on the supercontinent Rodinia as it assembled from the breakup of the Columbian supercontinent during that period. The point here is that the Mesoproterozoic Era saw the first multicellular organisms which reproduced sexually. Also the first major mountain-building that we have record of, and the basic continental masses of Rodinia are substantially the same as what we see today.

Now, while probably chose the datum "Billion-year-old Vampire Queen" because it sounded cool... from a totally bogus but psudo-scientific viewpoint we can "safely" apply the following observations:

1: She's multi-cellular... but a very early example. As we have no record of her people's existence (or, in fact, the existence of any complex multi-cellular life at that time) we can also assume something absolutely catastrophic happened to wipe the geological record clean. To stretch an already broken point way beyond reason... we'll also assume that she has regenerative/adaptational abilities in line with stem-cells.

2: She's an early evolutionary "experiment" in sexual reproduction... and like many early experimental lifeforms, she shows a certain hypertrophy of the related organs and signalling devices. Further, it's likely that her mental/social views on sex are somewhat more extreme that our own "refined" views.

3: She clearly shows advanced "mountain development" and while primitive, has all the continents in effectively the same formations. Amusingly, Rodinia means (in part) "Mother" and references a certain fecundity which pre-supposes children... of whatever sort.

4: The atmospheric oxygen levels of the Stenian period were perhaps 1% of what we have today... indicating a much reduced need for oxygen compared to modern multi-cellular organism... and a co-correspondingly longer effective period of consciousness when deprived of air... If, perhaps, her airway were to be somehow blocked. Not that you'd catch me sticking anything in her mouth... no doubt she'd bite it off purely by reflex... blood sausage and all that. But it's a point that needed to be made.

And isn't it wonderful how centuries of careful scientific advancement can be reduced to a rather distasteful (it's a pun!) fellatio joke?

In other news... I like!

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JazzLizard In reply to Violating19b [2012-01-23 18:53:43 +0000 UTC]

Or this image could be set in the future like most of my other pieces.

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Violating19b In reply to JazzLizard [2012-01-24 10:41:54 +0000 UTC]

The future?!? Now that's just unbelievable!

Who ever heard of Queen Vampires in the future???

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Artistik-Bootya [2012-01-21 04:22:08 +0000 UTC]

WICKED and HOTT!!

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JazzLizard In reply to Artistik-Bootya [2012-01-21 04:33:38 +0000 UTC]

She is both of those things

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Artistik-Bootya In reply to JazzLizard [2012-01-21 04:47:22 +0000 UTC]

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Yppiz [2011-12-11 02:38:39 +0000 UTC]

I likey!

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JazzLizard In reply to Yppiz [2011-12-13 00:15:46 +0000 UTC]

Well good

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Sturmjager [2011-12-06 12:39:24 +0000 UTC]

Before I read the text, I thought she might have been Elizabeth Bathory.

She only likes Red Delicious, huh? Not fuji or braeburn?

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JazzLizard In reply to Sturmjager [2011-12-13 00:16:15 +0000 UTC]

Nope, she's got discriminating tastes.

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Furre-NoeL [2011-12-02 11:35:37 +0000 UTC]

How could she be a billion years old? The human species is only 200,000 years old!

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JazzLizard In reply to Furre-NoeL [2011-12-02 14:32:06 +0000 UTC]

You're sorely lacking in imagination.

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Furre-NoeL In reply to JazzLizard [2012-01-03 06:21:49 +0000 UTC]

Nah, the character's creator just made an error

A vampire is a corpse that reanimates during the night to drink the blood of the living. Since it's a corpse it can't "die", so any notions of a spirit transcending multiple bodies - multiple "lives" - for a billion years goes out the window. Since it's a HUMAN corpse it can only possibly be as old as the human species, which - even conservatively - can only be two MILLION years, tops (though hominids from two million years ago wouldn't have looked anything like that), or more realistically, 200,000 years.

How can you explain that? Are you going to claim she's a time traveler from a billion years in the future, returning to her "deathday"? XD

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Violating19b In reply to Furre-NoeL [2012-01-22 10:05:15 +0000 UTC]

I actually have a perfectly good (if silly) explanation for this very problem further down the page.

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JazzLizard In reply to Furre-NoeL [2012-01-03 15:38:27 +0000 UTC]

Vampires are fictional fantasy creatures, made up by imaginative writers and artists. There are countless vampire types and models, ranging from immortal superhumans to sparkly pansies who think girls smell good. This image could be set billions of years in the future, or I could have used the term "billions" humorously.

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monkey-minded [2011-12-02 07:46:08 +0000 UTC]

she must grow a cup size every couple hundred thousand years then.

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JazzLizard In reply to monkey-minded [2011-12-02 14:32:36 +0000 UTC]

Pretty much

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SaMiYumiI18 [2011-12-02 01:50:50 +0000 UTC]

Amazing. The concept is really awesome!

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JazzLizard In reply to SaMiYumiI18 [2011-12-02 03:09:44 +0000 UTC]

Glad you think so, hun! As long as you're not hemophobic!

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SaMiYumiI18 In reply to JazzLizard [2011-12-03 05:17:33 +0000 UTC]

Hehehe, I'm not. In fact, I want to become a doctor. :3

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JazzLizard In reply to SaMiYumiI18 [2011-12-05 21:07:00 +0000 UTC]

"PAGING DOCTOR SAM FOR EMERGENCY MEGASURGERY!!! PAGING DOCTOR SAM!!! WE NEEEED YOUUUUUUUUUU!"

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SaMiYumiI18 In reply to JazzLizard [2011-12-06 04:30:39 +0000 UTC]

Coming, coming!!!! Doctor Sam prepared!! (just ate some burritos and pozole...)

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JazzLizard In reply to SaMiYumiI18 [2011-12-06 05:28:56 +0000 UTC]

Nooooooooo! The pozole was for the surgery! We'll have to give them a salad instead

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SaMiYumiI18 In reply to JazzLizard [2011-12-07 03:37:50 +0000 UTC]

hahahaha bring more pozoleeeee!

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EchoWing [2011-12-01 14:17:33 +0000 UTC]

Well, just as long as it isn't tainted.

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JazzLizard In reply to EchoWing [2011-12-01 16:18:32 +0000 UTC]

?

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EchoWing In reply to JazzLizard [2011-12-01 21:55:56 +0000 UTC]

The blood. I hope that it isn't tainted with some nasty disease.

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JazzLizard In reply to EchoWing [2011-12-01 21:58:31 +0000 UTC]

Ah, well I don't think immortal space vampires have much to worry about when it comes to diseases

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EchoWing In reply to JazzLizard [2011-12-01 22:32:20 +0000 UTC]

Thought so, but it's good to make sure.

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triadenforcer [2011-12-01 08:35:31 +0000 UTC]

We catch her at a bad time?

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JazzLizard In reply to triadenforcer [2011-12-01 13:18:39 +0000 UTC]

Well you might get torn to shreds for walking in on her, but she's certainly not having a bad time.

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triadenforcer In reply to JazzLizard [2011-12-01 13:27:25 +0000 UTC]

Wesley Snipes needs to make an appearance at the wedding in the latest "Twilight" Movie.

To "Clean House" if you will.

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LadyBhaal [2011-12-01 08:18:47 +0000 UTC]

Very nice, 3 arms?

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JazzLizard In reply to LadyBhaal [2011-12-01 13:11:19 +0000 UTC]

Nope, you're probably looking at her hair.

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LadyBhaal In reply to JazzLizard [2011-12-04 06:08:50 +0000 UTC]

Quite possible *hugs*

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ShiftyMcGearJam [2011-12-01 06:10:42 +0000 UTC]

oh my god, simply amazing! I keep getting drawn to her face, so perfect. Thanks so much!

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