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Ahhh SFC3… the fan favorite season… well. NOT for me. Lul as coc so graciously pointed out, every single time I write about SFC3 I cant resist the deep urge to be a contrarian about the idea of it being the best SFC season because of the flaws that hold it back. Dont get me wrong though, SFC3 is great and lulzy and in the era of SFC that I miss because of how new and nooby it is, but SFC3 starts to explore some really fun and campy things and imagines if that happened in Survivor like Marty’s dumbass twist lol<3, the loved one vote, the Iris blindside, and the FTC tie. The great characters that carry the season are GREAT, both Montana and Baxter are legendary legends. But where it falls for me is…. well, the season is literally only about them and doesnt even pretend that anyone else matters lmfao. Sure we got little plotlines here and there like Beth’s mental anguish over Marty’s twisto’s twist and Hope becoming a backstabber, but none of these are like really fully realized? By the merge, every single episode after Marty leaves revolves around Baxter’s next scheme and how Montana is the foil to it and everyone else just plays their role for the episode with no real regard for growth for them along the way, and stories like Beth’s and Hope’s and Spade’s indecision are thrown to the wind for the most part and there are a lot of questionable decisions that they make that are never really ever explained and were obviously done for the story convenience of Baxter’s plans working. And forget about any of the pre mergers besides Iris even having any semblance of personality or story lol. The good thing though is that we do finally get the showdown between Baxter and Montana (and Alex lul.) at FTC, and it was actually a really good one and satisfying and we LOVE to see lesbians win! Oops spoilers for 17 seasons from now

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RANKING:

#1: MONTANA - queen alert! Montana is sooo fun just one of the best characters SWSU has written and easily in the hall of fame. Everything she does and is is just FUN, but it’s real. She’s over the top, but she has a brain. She’s bitchy and catty and doesn’t give a fuck, but she loves her friends and wants to protect N. She’s selfish and motivated by a vacation, but pushes that aside and finds drive to actually play the game when she realizes she doesnt want bitches like Issac and Baxter to win. Really brought life to the season and without her it’d be nothing lol, and I was actually surprised how she was pretty much a main character throughout the whole season. And while SWSU probably did this unintentionally, I loved the message in a battle of the sexes season of the woman who is underestimated for being a “typical bitch” who, in plain sight, constantly gets the dominate man to overplay himself into oblivion. SLAY!

#2: BAXTER - wow a MAN this high?? As annoying as it is that SFC3 revolves around Baxter, at least he’s a really fun character and isn’t one dimensional at all. Baxter IMMEDIATELY wants to take over the tribe as soon as the game begins and even does his first baxstab as early as Delta and doesnt look back. I loooove his ridiculous plans because theyre camp as fuck and gives me early dAORG vibes. Like stealing the idol from the other camp and using it against them or being the swing vote when he gets kidnapped and forcing the two sides to vote their strongest players lmfao <33 Betraying Issac but throwing a hinky vote so that he could blame it on Hope is so iconic. The BEST though is when his plans finally stop working - telling his alliance to vote against him so he can idol himself instead of just…… voting someone out together?! dfgfd But also he has a couple of scenes during the rewards that remind us that he is just a pesky teen who just likes to cause mischief and thats why he loves to backstab. And when I really fucking loved him is when he finally gets got at the FTC, because his dialogue is so amazing during it. “Dont forget that the reason I’m here is because I’m a better player than ALL of you.” dfgfdgdf kinggg. Even though it was frustrating watching some of his ridiclous plans work, at least he himself was entertaining af.

#3: ISSAC - dfghdfgd I love Issac so fucking funny. The way he unabashedly just calls N a F*GGOT for no reason is soooo funny to me now that society is in a place where homophobia can be ironically funny. I love Issac because hes just an idiot who actively fucks things up for Baxter which is GOOD for a season that revolves around what Baxter wants to do and honestly Issac got got too early!

#4: MARTY - Idr at the moment where I used to stand on Marty, but this read I really loved him lmfao. While his made up twist working for all of pre-merge is stupid as fuck, its SO stupid that its entertaining especially when it drives Beth to madness (and gets rid of all of the boring ppl… owned). And the way Marty openly gloats about it and never even gets in arguments cuz hes like whatever you cant vote me out lol. Until they do and he tries to argue out of it but cant. I also enjoyed when Marty wouldnt even be necessarily evil and was strategizing for the benefit of his tribe but Got Got by Baxter because he wasn’t really a one dimensional villain in that sense, but a villain that got owned by the bigger villain (Alex)

#5: IRIS - okay slay…. Iris is the only pre-merger that is worth reading lol like literally the rest could be skipped and it wouldnt affect your understanding of the story. LOVE Iris being an emotional wreck who becomes obsessed with her bestie Hope, her getting fucked over is hella believable because she simply whines about missing Hope the whole time lmfao. Hate seeing women fight though… but at least Iris got to go home and smoke

#6: BETH - lmfao Beth is a rare case for this season where even though her story of slowly breaking down over time as Marty ruins her tribe is done whenever she makes an idiotic ass move to vote him out, she is still entertaining afterwards because she becomes a sneaky FLIRT who is hitching her bets to Baxter lmao. Shes just so random to me and I think thats a consequence of SWSU not writing characters strictly to where they come from + not knowing exactly what Beth’s personality is and just calls her boring when she isnt. It is frustrating though how he just pidgeonholes her into being a Baxter slave in the merge when she easily could have flipped at any moment and controlled the game, so her writing is pretty inconsistent but at least it was funny in a random way lmfao

#7: ALEX - lmfao I love Alex. I think he is the only one in the cast (besides Baxter/Montana) that I’m not upset got shafted in edit, because he was obviously on purpose. I love that everyone openly makes fun of him (even Jeff fghfgd) and his speech is so funny, love that sometimes he wasnt even shown attempting the challenge because it was guaranteed he wasnt gonna win lmfao. His best episode is easily when he finds Marty’s rat ass out at the merge ep… and then he does nothing for the rest of the season until he even loses ftc and doesnt even get a jury vote lul.

#8: N - What a little queen…. I actually liked N’s story of being a quiet queer who doesnt get along with the men and then becoming besties with Montana and finding his voice, the issue though is that he’s kind of nothing until he is friends with Montana and strategizes, like he’s just resigned to his fate and doesnt even try thus doesn’t get screentime and is just a morpy morp. Oh well at least he becomes a much more interesting and dynamic character in SFCAS right?

#9: HOPE - lul Hope is almost a Dub of a character, because if she had kept up her story post-Iris blindside she’d be a legendary legend. Where she falls flat for me is after, where she just exists to say vague threats and fall in line to Baxter and votes Issac out for reasons. And her boot is probably the most hand-wavy to me, because it makes no sense for Montana/N/Violet to at least tie the vote. Theyre for some reason scared of pissing Baxter off even though he makes it incredibly obvious that theyre the minority lol and also only promised their safety to F7…. the round after Hope leaves….

#10: YOSHIA - Lmfao OTTN queen. She came, she yelled at Marty, was a Yoshi, and then got booted. we stan!

#11: MIICHELLE - o_o. Thinking about when Miichelle would menacingly stare into the fire. so funny

#12: CASSIE - awwwww poor Cassie. Maybe you shouldn’t be transphobic next time

#13: MINNIE - literally a shell of a fun character lol. On the surface Minnie looks like a really entertaining and cool gal who knows karate and… um… well thats all we know about her because she was stale as fuck and offered nothing until she was idolled out lol

#14: POPPER - lol <3 Even though Popper was nothing at least it was lulzy. I love poppers though

#15: BESSI BELL - same vibes as Minnie. Bessi Bell is like, okay initially because she serves some point to be the counter to Hope/Iris but then afterwards shes just The Strong Nice Girl who narrates everything and who people like but for no particular reason that’s seen. Baxterowned

#16: DELTA - Absolutely obsessed with the idea of a robot going onto survivor but not being able to get into water at all. Him just stating facts about him being a robot made me smile. Otherwise who? Baxterowned

#17: VIOLET - meh. Violet generally is pretty inoffensive during the pre-merge, he just minds his own business and doesnt talk which is at some times funny. But its like… literally just the same all season. What I did like about him is when he has cute lil moments that show he actually cares about working with N/Montana and strays from his usual confessionals of either “I dont like talking to them” or “I need to win or Im going home” but it got really stale and boring and annoying lol. But the WORST and what makes me really dislike him over all is when he flips on Montana at the end to go with Baxter for literally noooooo reasooonnnn Baxter just tells him Montana is gonna win and hes like oh you know what? Thats so true. And aligns himself with him even though Montana has helped him all fucking merge and he has no reason to trust Baxter will work with him, and then after Baxter of course betrays him, gets upset about it. Like what the fuck did you expect you fucking idiot? and then of course gets all self righteous at the FTC about it lol.

#18: SPADE - eeuuughhh what a fucking drain. Spade, like Violet, is fine until the merge. Just your standard MORbore, nothing special. When I start really hating him is after Marty is voted out and he basically just becomes the “swing vote” or so he’s advertised as when really he is just someone who teases being a swing vote without ever actually having the balls to do anything about it. Every fucking episode we had to read about how Spade knows Baxter is a backstabbing liar who cant be trusted, just for his idiot ass to end up trusting him come the vote again. like cmon dog lol. He even trusts him after Baxter threatens and demands him to go his way MULTIPLE times, like literally since Marty leaves, and Spade will be like why tf am I letting this kid boss me around? And then he does lol. And then finally when he decides to flip he gets fucked over by Baxter, like of course lol. Just such a predictable and horrible character that we’re supposed to be convinced every episode is finally gonna flip, fuck off.

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omg next is SFC: chaona vs. minerva

Description

Ahhh SFC3… the fan favorite season… well. NOT for me. Lul as coc so graciously pointed out, every single time I write about SFC3 I cant resist the deep urge to be a contrarian about the idea of it being the best SFC season because of the flaws that hold it back. Dont get me wrong though, SFC3 is great and lulzy and in the era of SFC that I miss because of how new and nooby it is, but SFC3 starts to explore some really fun and campy things and imagines if that happened in Survivor like Marty’s dumbass twist lol<3, the loved one vote, the Iris blindside, and the FTC tie. The great characters that carry the season are GREAT, both Montana and Baxter are legendary legends. But where it falls for me is…. well, the season is literally only about them and doesnt even pretend that anyone else matters lmfao. Sure we got little plotlines here and there like Beth’s mental anguish over Marty’s twisto’s twist and Hope becoming a backstabber, but none of these are like really fully realized? By the merge, every single episode after Marty leaves revolves around Baxter’s next scheme and how Montana is the foil to it and everyone else just plays their role for the episode with no real regard for growth for them along the way, and stories like Beth’s and Hope’s and Spade’s indecision are thrown to the wind for the most part and there are a lot of questionable decisions that they make that are never really ever explained and were obviously done for the story convenience of Baxter’s plans working. And forget about any of the pre mergers besides Iris even having any semblance of personality or story lol. The good thing though is that we do finally get the showdown between Baxter and Montana (and Alex lul.) at FTC, and it was actually a really good one and satisfying and we LOVE to see lesbians win! Oops spoilers for 17 seasons from now

--

RANKING:

#1: MONTANA - queen alert! Montana is sooo fun just one of the best characters SWSU has written and easily in the hall of fame. Everything she does and is is just FUN, but it’s real. She’s over the top, but she has a brain. She’s bitchy and catty and doesn’t give a fuck, but she loves her friends and wants to protect N. She’s selfish and motivated by a vacation, but pushes that aside and finds drive to actually play the game when she realizes she doesnt want bitches like Issac and Baxter to win. Really brought life to the season and without her it’d be nothing lol, and I was actually surprised how she was pretty much a main character throughout the whole season. And while SWSU probably did this unintentionally, I loved the message in a battle of the sexes season of the woman who is underestimated for being a “typical bitch” who, in plain sight, constantly gets the dominate man to overplay himself into oblivion. SLAY!

#2: BAXTER - wow a MAN this high?? As annoying as it is that SFC3 revolves around Baxter, at least he’s a really fun character and isn’t one dimensional at all. Baxter IMMEDIATELY wants to take over the tribe as soon as the game begins and even does his first baxstab as early as Delta and doesnt look back. I loooove his ridiculous plans because theyre camp as fuck and gives me early dAORG vibes. Like stealing the idol from the other camp and using it against them or being the swing vote when he gets kidnapped and forcing the two sides to vote their strongest players lmfao <33 Betraying Issac but throwing a hinky vote so that he could blame it on Hope is so iconic. The BEST though is when his plans finally stop working - telling his alliance to vote against him so he can idol himself instead of just…… voting someone out together?! dfgfd But also he has a couple of scenes during the rewards that remind us that he is just a pesky teen who just likes to cause mischief and thats why he loves to backstab. And when I really fucking loved him is when he finally gets got at the FTC, because his dialogue is so amazing during it. “Dont forget that the reason I’m here is because I’m a better player than ALL of you.” dfgfdgdf kinggg. Even though it was frustrating watching some of his ridiclous plans work, at least he himself was entertaining af.

#3: ISSAC - dfghdfgd I love Issac so fucking funny. The way he unabashedly just calls N a F*GGOT for no reason is soooo funny to me now that society is in a place where homophobia can be ironically funny. I love Issac because hes just an idiot who actively fucks things up for Baxter which is GOOD for a season that revolves around what Baxter wants to do and honestly Issac got got too early!

#4: MARTY - Idr at the moment where I used to stand on Marty, but this read I really loved him lmfao. While his made up twist working for all of pre-merge is stupid as fuck, its SO stupid that its entertaining especially when it drives Beth to madness (and gets rid of all of the boring ppl… owned). And the way Marty openly gloats about it and never even gets in arguments cuz hes like whatever you cant vote me out lol. Until they do and he tries to argue out of it but cant. I also enjoyed when Marty wouldnt even be necessarily evil and was strategizing for the benefit of his tribe but Got Got by Baxter because he wasn’t really a one dimensional villain in that sense, but a villain that got owned by the bigger villain (Alex)

#5: IRIS - okay slay…. Iris is the only pre-merger that is worth reading lol like literally the rest could be skipped and it wouldnt affect your understanding of the story. LOVE Iris being an emotional wreck who becomes obsessed with her bestie Hope, her getting fucked over is hella believable because she simply whines about missing Hope the whole time lmfao. Hate seeing women fight though… but at least Iris got to go home and smoke

#6: BETH - lmfao Beth is a rare case for this season where even though her story of slowly breaking down over time as Marty ruins her tribe is done whenever she makes an idiotic ass move to vote him out, she is still entertaining afterwards because she becomes a sneaky FLIRT who is hitching her bets to Baxter lmao. Shes just so random to me and I think thats a consequence of SWSU not writing characters strictly to where they come from + not knowing exactly what Beth’s personality is and just calls her boring when she isnt. It is frustrating though how he just pidgeonholes her into being a Baxter slave in the merge when she easily could have flipped at any moment and controlled the game, so her writing is pretty inconsistent but at least it was funny in a random way lmfao

#7: ALEX - lmfao I love Alex. I think he is the only one in the cast (besides Baxter/Montana) that I’m not upset got shafted in edit, because he was obviously on purpose. I love that everyone openly makes fun of him (even Jeff fghfgd) and his speech is so funny, love that sometimes he wasnt even shown attempting the challenge because it was guaranteed he wasnt gonna win lmfao. His best episode is easily when he finds Marty’s rat ass out at the merge ep… and then he does nothing for the rest of the season until he even loses ftc and doesnt even get a jury vote lul.

#8: N - What a little queen…. I actually liked N’s story of being a quiet queer who doesnt get along with the men and then becoming besties with Montana and finding his voice, the issue though is that he’s kind of nothing until he is friends with Montana and strategizes, like he’s just resigned to his fate and doesnt even try thus doesn’t get screentime and is just a morpy morp. Oh well at least he becomes a much more interesting and dynamic character in SFCAS right?

#9: HOPE - lul Hope is almost a Dub of a character, because if she had kept up her story post-Iris blindside she’d be a legendary legend. Where she falls flat for me is after, where she just exists to say vague threats and fall in line to Baxter and votes Issac out for reasons. And her boot is probably the most hand-wavy to me, because it makes no sense for Montana/N/Violet to at least tie the vote. Theyre for some reason scared of pissing Baxter off even though he makes it incredibly obvious that theyre the minority lol and also only promised their safety to F7…. the round after Hope leaves….

#10: YOSHIA - Lmfao OTTN queen. She came, she yelled at Marty, was a Yoshi, and then got booted. we stan!

#11: MIICHELLE - o_o. Thinking about when Miichelle would menacingly stare into the fire. so funny

#12: CASSIE - awwwww poor Cassie. Maybe you shouldn’t be transphobic next time

#13: MINNIE - literally a shell of a fun character lol. On the surface Minnie looks like a really entertaining and cool gal who knows karate and… um… well thats all we know about her because she was stale as fuck and offered nothing until she was idolled out lol

#14: POPPER - lol <3 Even though Popper was nothing at least it was lulzy. I love poppers though

#15: BESSI BELL - same vibes as Minnie. Bessi Bell is like, okay initially because she serves some point to be the counter to Hope/Iris but then afterwards shes just The Strong Nice Girl who narrates everything and who people like but for no particular reason that’s seen. Baxterowned

#16: DELTA - Absolutely obsessed with the idea of a robot going onto survivor but not being able to get into water at all. Him just stating facts about him being a robot made me smile. Otherwise who? Baxterowned

#17: VIOLET - meh. Violet generally is pretty inoffensive during the pre-merge, he just minds his own business and doesnt talk which is at some times funny. But its like… literally just the same all season. What I did like about him is when he has cute lil moments that show he actually cares about working with N/Montana and strays from his usual confessionals of either “I dont like talking to them” or “I need to win or Im going home” but it got really stale and boring and annoying lol. But the WORST and what makes me really dislike him over all is when he flips on Montana at the end to go with Baxter for literally noooooo reasooonnnn Baxter just tells him Montana is gonna win and hes like oh you know what? Thats so true. And aligns himself with him even though Montana has helped him all fucking merge and he has no reason to trust Baxter will work with him, and then after Baxter of course betrays him, gets upset about it. Like what the fuck did you expect you fucking idiot? and then of course gets all self righteous at the FTC about it lol.

#18: SPADE - eeuuughhh what a fucking drain. Spade, like Violet, is fine until the merge. Just your standard MORbore, nothing special. When I start really hating him is after Marty is voted out and he basically just becomes the “swing vote” or so he’s advertised as when really he is just someone who teases being a swing vote without ever actually having the balls to do anything about it. Every fucking episode we had to read about how Spade knows Baxter is a backstabbing liar who cant be trusted, just for his idiot ass to end up trusting him come the vote again. like cmon dog lol. He even trusts him after Baxter threatens and demands him to go his way MULTIPLE times, like literally since Marty leaves, and Spade will be like why tf am I letting this kid boss me around? And then he does lol. And then finally when he decides to flip he gets fucked over by Baxter, like of course lol. Just such a predictable and horrible character that we’re supposed to be convinced every episode is finally gonna flip, fuck off.

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omg next is SFC: chaona vs. minerva