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MensjeDeZeemeermin — Eremos

#bereavement #death #grief #loss #love #misery #mourning #sadness #tears
Published: 2018-07-31 21:37:40 +0000 UTC; Views: 3326; Favourites: 26; Downloads: 0
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Description Your voice has gone silent, the echoes have faded.
The light of your eyes is forever, now, shaded.
I’m left with a great gaping hole in my heart,
While my life endures, we have been thrust apart.

The tears well up thickly and my vision blurs.
I have trouble breathing, the problem recurs.
You must be in bliss, that’s my hope and belief,
But now I must stagger, alone with my grief.

We stole priceless hours and shared a pure joy,
But such are the flowers one frost can destroy.
The joyous sweet time that we shared was a boon
I was not prepared when the bill came so soon.

Your life was so fraught with such burdens and pain,
I begged God to help you, and that could explain
That when your health failed you, He moved mercifully
And bore off your burdens, and thus, you from me.

I yet still look for you, but foolish hopes fail.
I still so adore you but no pleas will avail.
Your sweet call of greeting has, with you, departed.
No more joy in meeting, I sob, broken-hearted.

I'm reft of your beauty, your enfolding arms,
I live (life is duty); bewail your lost charms.
You would not desire my anguish and pains,
But with ev’ry breath, this grim torment remains.

Mortality stalks us from long before birth.
Our human life balks us, and thrusts us from Earth.
We are born to die, simple reason tells me.
I think, ‘she is dead’ and writhe in agony.

I lurch along, numb, others need me, it’s true.
Your voice is struck dumb. You do not come in view.
My heart, mad to join you, throbs trapped in its cage.
I am so forlorn, too—but riven in rage.

Hope withers, no nourishment in empty spaces.
I shrink from your haunts, they’re now haunted places.
Kind friends proffer comfort, and offer their ears,
But nothing can stem the warm flood of my tears.

I dared speak of feelings you said you returned.
The warmth’s left in ashes, my outstretched hand’s burned.
I huddle in silence, too raddled to groan.
My love’s dead by violence, and I am–alone.
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Comments: 35

914four [2019-03-06 16:56:56 +0000 UTC]

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MensjeDeZeemeermin In reply to 914four [2019-03-06 21:50:24 +0000 UTC]

The grief still endures, flaring up every time I think of her, or something she would delight in... The happiness sinks quickly down into the leaden gray sea. I am honored by the mark of your regard.

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stillarebel [2019-03-06 09:05:15 +0000 UTC]

You write what I have felt. It brings me pain,but is true art

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MensjeDeZeemeermin In reply to stillarebel [2019-03-06 21:52:43 +0000 UTC]

That... scream, too loud for sound, anger, rage, the realization of terrible, unending loss...  Frustrated helplessness, heart-crushing apathy... and pain alternately sharp or lingering.  I'm so touched, and sorry, that it resonated with you.

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stillarebel In reply to MensjeDeZeemeermin [2019-03-22 03:02:45 +0000 UTC]

We all have to deal with the pains in life. Losing those we love is painful and the older we get the more we will have to endure. Your subject for the poem isn't one of my favorites,but to touch someone emotionally is an artistic goal.You achieve that goal

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MensjeDeZeemeermin In reply to stillarebel [2019-03-22 04:57:36 +0000 UTC]

I agree with you, but I had to let out a long howl of agony and misery in the course of my throes.  Thank you for the kind and reasoned praise.

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Sacron22 [2018-08-27 21:54:56 +0000 UTC]

Touching.  

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MensjeDeZeemeermin In reply to Sacron22 [2018-08-27 22:58:34 +0000 UTC]

Still pretty rough.

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Sacron22 In reply to MensjeDeZeemeermin [2018-08-28 13:09:37 +0000 UTC]

Sounds like it.  Great loss. 

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Alveric2 [2018-08-04 02:06:49 +0000 UTC]

Memory Eternal

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MensjeDeZeemeermin In reply to Alveric2 [2018-08-06 20:36:06 +0000 UTC]

One heals from an amputation.  One never recovers from it.  Thank you for your kind comment and notice of the poem.

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xxBatzyxx [2018-08-01 16:41:57 +0000 UTC]

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MensjeDeZeemeermin In reply to xxBatzyxx [2018-08-02 02:00:38 +0000 UTC]

It took a long time to write the poem with the tears blurring my vision and the sobs making my fingers slip.  Thank you for your kindness, sympathy, and notice of the poem.

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xxBatzyxx In reply to MensjeDeZeemeermin [2018-08-02 14:33:15 +0000 UTC]

I have been there many times. Grief is terribly painful and the healing from it is often slow and agonizing. There is no shame in it whatsoever. I pray that you will be greatly comforted in the days to come, that you will know peace in the pain and that somehow joy will overtake you in the sorrow.

God bless you, dear.

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MensjeDeZeemeermin In reply to xxBatzyxx [2018-08-02 20:39:54 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for your words and your prayers. I keep assessing the damage to the vessel that is my life. I don't think that there is progressive flooding, and hte existing damage is not enough to submerge me... But it is difficult to imagine that the damage can ever be repaired.

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xxBatzyxx In reply to MensjeDeZeemeermin [2018-08-02 22:57:53 +0000 UTC]

I feel like that often enough. Currently I'm in a good season, but there have been others... Sometimes it just feels like life is a game of keeping our heads above water. Maybe that's God's way of telling us to look up. After all, he doesn't promise us that nothing bad will ever happen, but rather that we will never be alone in our suffering. I think that's comforting; to know that he mourns with and for us when the world is ugly, and knowing that death isn't our ultimate end.

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MensjeDeZeemeermin In reply to xxBatzyxx [2018-08-02 23:39:22 +0000 UTC]

Very thoughtful.  Dying horribly on the cross certainly argues that God does understand and care about our suffering.  The line in the poem about Him helping her, and taking her away from me too, was not an angry one--just sad.  It's just so hard when I think of how happy we'd been, and how happy we were sure we were going to be.

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xxBatzyxx In reply to MensjeDeZeemeermin [2018-08-03 02:42:32 +0000 UTC]

I never sensed that that line was angry. The entire poem is an honest expression of loss. If I may put it blatantly: Loss sucks. Losing a person we love isn't just the death of one, but a universe and a dream as well. There will always be a little emptiness that never goes away, even for those who heal well.

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MensjeDeZeemeermin In reply to xxBatzyxx [2018-08-03 04:31:21 +0000 UTC]

A whole potentially joyous future died with her.  But I rather think the fatal damage had already been done...

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austin-dern [2018-08-01 06:24:57 +0000 UTC]

Thank you.

Gads what a week.

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MensjeDeZeemeermin In reply to austin-dern [2018-08-02 02:05:45 +0000 UTC]

I'm very glad you found the poem worth a mark of regard.  As hard as it was to compose and to write, it does little to soothe the ache and falls short of what I would wish to convey.  Art may be enduring, but it lacks the power of even a tragically truncated life.

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benitezdk [2018-08-01 06:03:21 +0000 UTC]

... Conflicting feelings, always hard to get on with! ... ...

( Beautiful Poem! ...

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MensjeDeZeemeermin In reply to benitezdk [2018-08-02 02:02:42 +0000 UTC]

I'm honored by your notice and touched by your sympathy.  I don't know when I've worked harder on a poem and had a more physically difficult time in writing one.

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Rabbi-Tom [2018-08-01 02:16:22 +0000 UTC]

Too Too true.

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MensjeDeZeemeermin In reply to Rabbi-Tom [2018-08-01 03:59:16 +0000 UTC]

She's upset with us for being so upset. Remember how often she said she was 'nothing special?'

Yeah.  Right.

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amberchrome [2018-07-31 22:57:02 +0000 UTC]

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MensjeDeZeemeermin In reply to amberchrome [2018-08-01 03:58:03 +0000 UTC]

That... is very moving. Thank you for the image and the mark of your esteem.  May I use this picture for the poem's 'background' image?  

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amberchrome In reply to MensjeDeZeemeermin [2018-08-01 07:20:13 +0000 UTC]

Certainly!

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MensjeDeZeemeermin In reply to amberchrome [2018-08-02 01:50:51 +0000 UTC]

You are so kind.  Something's wrong with DA's 'edit' feature, I have submitted a ticket.  When I can, I'll use your picture.  She was all that.

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amberchrome In reply to MensjeDeZeemeermin [2018-08-08 04:39:30 +0000 UTC]

Years back, Argon commissioned some art from me, of him and Mavra. The news of their passing is heavy for me, more so since Mavra and I were both born in the same year, several months apart. But I regret that I never met them in person. 

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MensjeDeZeemeermin In reply to amberchrome [2018-08-08 04:43:51 +0000 UTC]

It looks as if we have even more in common, similar tastes, similar regrets, and the year of all our births.  DA still won't let me add your lovely picture to her poem.

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amberchrome In reply to MensjeDeZeemeermin [2018-08-08 04:44:54 +0000 UTC]

I can do something with it. Maybe in a day or two. 

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MensjeDeZeemeermin In reply to amberchrome [2018-08-08 04:46:12 +0000 UTC]

Not your issue. DA's got some bug in the literature update that won't allow new data. They've acknowledged it.  Doesn't help my anger.

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amberchrome In reply to MensjeDeZeemeermin [2018-08-08 05:14:21 +0000 UTC]

 New bells and whistles are all fine and good, but fixing what's already there is just as important. 

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MensjeDeZeemeermin In reply to amberchrome [2018-08-17 19:38:55 +0000 UTC]

They finally did fix it.  I think it suits the poem perfectly.  Thank you for this and other kindnesses.

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