Comments: 39
ZombieMozart0725 [2013-08-11 01:28:45 +0000 UTC]
*laughs maniacally, can't wait for action to start*
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MJTism In reply to ZombieMozart0725 [2013-08-11 02:42:02 +0000 UTC]
I've always been told I'm good with action scenes.
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ZombieMozart0725 In reply to MJTism [2013-08-11 11:19:29 +0000 UTC]
Yeah, you're pretty good. However, you could use a little more fear and description in what you're writing. When I was writing my Skyrim fan-fic, there was a scene where the main character was entered into a Solitude pit fight. The whole time I was describing the sights, sounds, an smells of what he did to his opponents. One had his back snapped in two by the main character's warhammer. Another was kicked head-first into the spikes surrounding the arena because his armor was so heavy, it carried him right into them. There was a paragraph or two of the main character just trying to get away from this same guy's hammer, which frightened the piss out of him. Try to add a little more humanity to the action. The thing with Ares after Max and Terra got it was good, but if you could bring that kind of thing in a little earlier, it would make the combat much deeper.
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swordofcoldfire010 [2013-04-26 03:05:06 +0000 UTC]
Does Terra have a crush on Max? I had that vibe for a while. AND HOLY CRAP WOLVES AND ARES'S LAUGH THIS IS GOING TO BE SO EXCITING!
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MJTism In reply to swordofcoldfire010 [2013-04-26 04:26:03 +0000 UTC]
Now now, that would be telling.
And I hope so, I've had an idea of the final battle for a long time, constantly adding to it, striking things out, playing with different adversaries and so on. Now it all (hopefully) comes together.
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swordofcoldfire010 In reply to MJTism [2013-04-26 23:41:01 +0000 UTC]
As far as I can tell, it's coming together beautifully.
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MJTism In reply to swordofcoldfire010 [2013-04-27 05:09:04 +0000 UTC]
Thanks. The next chapter is going to be really long.
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Perseus1258 [2013-04-25 03:25:01 +0000 UTC]
Very good
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MJTism In reply to partial-quatrefoil [2013-04-24 05:16:52 +0000 UTC]
Oh there's a couple reasons. The practical one being that I'm picking up my disaster area (room). And the other being Justice League Unlimited on Netflix. I will try though.
Thanks. It really didn't seem right even when I wrote it.
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partial-quatrefoil In reply to MJTism [2013-04-24 14:13:55 +0000 UTC]
Haha! I would say that sucks, but really it's kind of funny.
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MJTism In reply to partial-quatrefoil [2013-04-25 00:08:45 +0000 UTC]
Oh I'm fine. And with the help of my grandmother (the woman of one-thousand household talents) I'm making real progress. I can walk it places I had forgotten existed!
As for Justice League (Now also the original Teen Titans and Young Justice), they can't suck. Just too brilliant.
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MJTism In reply to partial-quatrefoil [2013-04-25 02:20:29 +0000 UTC]
Only parts of it!
Fine. Young Justice is really the best one. And you can't say you never watched Teen Titans! COME ON!
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partial-quatrefoil In reply to MJTism [2013-04-25 02:56:37 +0000 UTC]
I never said I didn't watch it! They had some good episodes, definitely. Like the one where Robin thinks he sees Slade everywhere. And the end of the world ones with Robin. And the Terra arc was good.
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MJTism In reply to partial-quatrefoil [2013-04-25 05:01:11 +0000 UTC]
Good lord the Terra arc... And how about when time got messed up and we got to see Robin in his kick ass Nightwing form?
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MJTism In reply to partial-quatrefoil [2013-04-25 05:40:20 +0000 UTC]
That was cool, but I didn't understand it because that show was during this sorta transition of mine from watching random episodes as they appear for the action and jokes to actually realizing these things had a plot. Hence my re-watching it now so that I might understand and accept more that I thought just couldn't happen as a kid. Terra was the first character that I ever saw get killed off and, though I didn't realize it at the time, She and Beast Boy were my first ship.
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partial-quatrefoil In reply to MJTism [2013-04-25 13:20:28 +0000 UTC]
Excellent! I mean, there's a lot of fluff where Teen Titans is concerned, but there are also some great episodes.
Didn't you watch the Lion King? Mufasa was the first character I ever saw get killed, I think.
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MJTism In reply to partial-quatrefoil [2013-04-26 04:27:06 +0000 UTC]
Ha! Yeah.
I meant in a TV show. My first character death ever was Littlefoot's mom. Someday I might get over that.
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partial-quatrefoil In reply to MJTism [2013-04-26 07:04:11 +0000 UTC]
Oh, I see. I used to watch Star Trek: Voyager with my parents, and characters died in that show all the time.
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MJTism In reply to partial-quatrefoil [2013-04-26 07:07:58 +0000 UTC]
Huh. I've heard about a pattern in that franchise, mostly from mythbusters and the yogscast,something about the guy in the red shirt always getting killed?
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partial-quatrefoil In reply to MJTism [2013-04-26 07:22:44 +0000 UTC]
Well... yeah. The red shirts are ship security on the original series. Usually the main characters are beamed down to the planet with one requisite red shirt extra who usually gets killed by whatever monster they're dealing with that episode. It's tempered in the later series but never truly gone.
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MJTism In reply to partial-quatrefoil [2013-04-26 07:45:31 +0000 UTC]
Oh. I see. Interesting.
Tell me, given the choice between killing off Kaya or leaving her blind (assuming something bad happens) which would you take? And no I don't want spoilers, I'm just asking for advice in a way that I hope won't drop you any hints.
How's Keenan coming? And don't just say still captured.
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MJTism In reply to partial-quatrefoil [2013-04-26 21:56:01 +0000 UTC]
Thanks for the insight. You may have just saved a life.
Not funny. Seriously, any progress at all?
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partial-quatrefoil In reply to MJTism [2013-04-27 04:11:33 +0000 UTC]
Yay! I would be just as proudof killing someone!
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MJTism In reply to partial-quatrefoil [2013-04-27 04:26:51 +0000 UTC]
Ha! Just like you.
But seriously, any hint of progress?
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partial-quatrefoil In reply to MJTism [2013-04-27 19:52:41 +0000 UTC]
I will tell you that I'll be introducing a new main character for the second series
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MJTism In reply to partial-quatrefoil [2013-04-27 23:11:58 +0000 UTC]
Cool, but is there any progress in the current one?
Also, chapter 20 is up if you'd like to read it.
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partial-quatrefoil In reply to MJTism [2013-04-29 01:41:59 +0000 UTC]
You might interpret that previous comment as I've written a bit of the next chapter and it has this character in it. Hence, progress.
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MJTism In reply to partial-quatrefoil [2013-04-29 02:59:23 +0000 UTC]
I see (said the blind man)! Can't wait to see the finished product!
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MJTism In reply to partial-quatrefoil [2013-04-29 03:13:06 +0000 UTC]
How about a contest? To see who can get something done first. I'm stumped on Marcy and you on Keenan, so what if we had a contest to see who finishes the next chapter of each first with the prize of one request?
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partial-quatrefoil In reply to MJTism [2013-04-29 03:22:36 +0000 UTC]
I don't know that I want to rush the writing. That's when it turns out the worst =/
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MJTism In reply to partial-quatrefoil [2013-04-29 03:40:51 +0000 UTC]
Good point. -_- This just seems like a no win situation.
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