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Description
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Cappy’s Random Plea
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A repost of my previous plea, in case you didn't realize I was serious.

Attention my DevArt literature and poetry submitters! Very, VERY soon, I plan to upload my first written story; I’m having some issues though. Of course I tried the forums, but was met with the usual philosophy of:
“Yes, I use the same amount of words to tell you to email the help desk as it would take to simply answer your problem, but I have a specific fetish about people that wait two days to receive information! The DMV is my porn!!”

So, I turn to my reasonable, less sexually-flawed art buddies. I have tested the feature, but I encounter errors. I try to upload a Word file, but it doesn’t work and the FAQ tells me to upload a text file. When I find the Word format to turn my document into a text file, I am told that all formatting will be lost. Is there a way to upload a file and keep all the auto-html or must I manually type the stupid html for bold and italics and the like? …Man, there is A LOT of bold use in my story.

Also, there is a cover picture I have illustrated for my story. To upload it along with my story, do I simply click on ‘submit file’ again (uploading two files at once) or do I make it the preview image?

I thank you in advance!

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Cappy’s Rockin’ Rendition
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The math problem that is comedy:
If A = Alakazam has spoons
And B = Alakazam is psychic
Then C must = he’s a complete and encompassing douche to his wife.
I’m sure she doesn’t feel bad now for having an affair with Hitmonlee. Release the zero and capture yourself a hero, Mrs. Abra!
Really, there’s no profundity to my jokes. And yes, I too am amazed that ‘ profundity’ is a word and that I know it.

Are people still playing Pokemon? What’re they on, like, reiteration fifteen? Me, I stopped playing after the original red and blue versions of the game; I’m a little glad I stopped playing before they implemented that whole get your pokemon in the mood and have ‘em hookup at Dirty Gary’s Lust Shack: putting the ‘ poke’ back in your ‘mon-sters’! More specifically, my epiphany to halt came when I was sitting in my room, simultaneously playing the red and blue versions all by myself because I needed to collect all the pokemon, and then saying out loud “Oh wow, I am a sad individual.”

Although not as sad as playing that “Hey You Pikachu!” game for the N64 (shut up, it was ten bucks). The game’s claim to fame was a microphone you attached to the controller and ‘talked’ to your very own pet Pikachu. I hate Pikachu, I’d rather have a pet Meowth…that’s right! But nothing is more unsettling than realizing you just uttered the phrase “ pikachu… put the nut in your mouth!” I was afraid one of the parents would come upstairs and ask
“Jason…what are you doing in there?”
“IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS MOTHER!! I’m creating relationships here!”

Do you remember playing the original versions (I think I was in the eighth grade when they came out, dang)? Then I’m sure you remember experiencing the biggest letdown in your gaming life in terms of secret content. For those who didn’t, lemme tell you why you’re lucky. At one point in the game, a character announced to you “Hey there unsuspecting-boy-willing-to-blindly-walk-into-a-strange-man’s-basement-without-hesitation, if you come back here with some wine coolers and a pokedex full of every pokemon…I’ll give you a present!” Needless to say, all us losers assumed that such a daunting task would net you the elusive one-fifty-one pokemon, Mew!
Because Nintendo wouldn’t screw trusting little kids over so horribly, right?
Right?
RIGHT NINTENDO?
…A certificate.
A certificate that told you that hey, you collected all the pokemon…minus Mew, of course. Never in all my gaming years did a secret make me curse “Wh…are you f***ing serious?!”

There ya go…now that I’ve written this rant, I don’t know it this is technically fanart. Ah well, hopefully two of you get a laugh out of it! I kinda enjoy the picture more knowing that the official art was also done in watercolor.
-The “I’m No Pokeboy…I’m A PokeMAN baby!!” Cappy

For the copycats: Micron Pigma pen 02 (thickened lines), discontinued Crayola educational watercolors (because they think you’re stupid!), salt (speckled background), tape (on edges of paper to reduce warping).

Description
====================
Cappy’s Random Plea
====================
A repost of my previous plea, in case you didn't realize I was serious.

Attention my DevArt literature and poetry submitters! Very, VERY soon, I plan to upload my first written story; I’m having some issues though. Of course I tried the forums, but was met with the usual philosophy of:
“Yes, I use the same amount of words to tell you to email the help desk as it would take to simply answer your problem, but I have a specific fetish about people that wait two days to receive information! The DMV is my porn!!”

So, I turn to my reasonable, less sexually-flawed art buddies. I have tested the feature, but I encounter errors. I try to upload a Word file, but it doesn’t work and the FAQ tells me to upload a text file. When I find the Word format to turn my document into a text file, I am told that all formatting will be lost. Is there a way to upload a file and keep all the auto-html or must I manually type the stupid html for bold and italics and the like? …Man, there is A LOT of bold use in my story.

Also, there is a cover picture I have illustrated for my story. To upload it along with my story, do I simply click on ‘submit file’ again (uploading two files at once) or do I make it the preview image?

I thank you in advance!

====================
Cappy’s Rockin’ Rendition
====================
The math problem that is comedy:
If A = Alakazam has spoons
And B = Alakazam is psychic
Then C must = he’s a complete and encompassing douche to his wife.
I’m sure she doesn’t feel bad now for having an affair with Hitmonlee. Release the zero and capture yourself a hero, Mrs. Abra!
Really, there’s no profundity to my jokes. And yes, I too am amazed that ‘ profundity’ is a word and that I know it.

Are people still playing Pokemon? What’re they on, like, reiteration fifteen? Me, I stopped playing after the original red and blue versions of the game; I’m a little glad I stopped playing before they implemented that whole get your pokemon in the mood and have ‘em hookup at Dirty Gary’s Lust Shack: putting the ‘ poke’ back in your ‘mon-sters’! More specifically, my epiphany to halt came when I was sitting in my room, simultaneously playing the red and blue versions all by myself because I needed to collect all the pokemon, and then saying out loud “Oh wow, I am a sad individual.”

Although not as sad as playing that “Hey You Pikachu!” game for the N64 (shut up, it was ten bucks). The game’s claim to fame was a microphone you attached to the controller and ‘talked’ to your very own pet Pikachu. I hate Pikachu, I’d rather have a pet Meowth…that’s right! But nothing is more unsettling than realizing you just uttered the phrase “ pikachu… put the nut in your mouth!” I was afraid one of the parents would come upstairs and ask
“Jason…what are you doing in there?”
“IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS MOTHER!! I’m creating relationships here!”

Do you remember playing the original versions (I think I was in the eighth grade when they came out, dang)? Then I’m sure you remember experiencing the biggest letdown in your gaming life in terms of secret content. For those who didn’t, lemme tell you why you’re lucky. At one point in the game, a character announced to you “Hey there unsuspecting-boy-willing-to-blindly-walk-into-a-strange-man’s-basement-without-hesitation, if you come back here with some wine coolers and a pokedex full of every pokemon…I’ll give you a present!” Needless to say, all us losers assumed that such a daunting task would net you the elusive one-fifty-one pokemon, Mew!
Because Nintendo wouldn’t screw trusting little kids over so horribly, right?
Right?
RIGHT NINTENDO?
…A certificate.
A certificate that told you that hey, you collected all the pokemon…minus Mew, of course. Never in all my gaming years did a secret make me curse “Wh…are you f***ing serious?!”

There ya go…now that I’ve written this rant, I don’t know it this is technically fanart. Ah well, hopefully two of you get a laugh out of it! I kinda enjoy the picture more knowing that the official art was also done in watercolor.
-The “I’m No Pokeboy…I’m A PokeMAN baby!!” Cappy

For the copycats: Micron Pigma pen 02 (thickened lines), discontinued Crayola educational watercolors (because they think you’re stupid!), salt (speckled background), tape (on edges of paper to reduce warping).