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oldest-boy — dirty musician
Published: 2009-11-03 04:41:11 +0000 UTC; Views: 1128; Favourites: 27; Downloads: 22
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Description the street lights puked
their endless

cloak of yellow
and black spit away from cracked-
cobble broken
over
      and it was
as if this man
grew
or had been

rooted
in-
to the place
from which he played
his instrument

probably stolen from
heaven's only
devil

or hell's only
angel

or perhaps
just
     a pawn shop
window

       it spilled
a magic
to which
dollar bills fell
into it's coffin

as if hypnotized
by the guitar strings
tired flailing
in a slow-

sway only found
in cat-
fish whiskers.
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Comments: 39

purcell232 [2010-10-26 00:41:21 +0000 UTC]

I like the poem, being a musician I think the street scenery was very descriptive and the declamation worked well with the text layout.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Omni-Flow [2010-09-03 22:40:43 +0000 UTC]

your analogies are on fire, people who say that the written word is dead obviously have been sheltered or brain dead. this piece is raw.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oldest-boy In reply to Omni-Flow [2010-10-09 23:07:53 +0000 UTC]

word; glad you could dig it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

AlecBell [2010-06-12 07:59:40 +0000 UTC]

Those guys are truly role models. Your tribute captures that gritty persistence vividly.

This is how DLDs should be

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oldest-boy In reply to AlecBell [2010-07-30 20:50:11 +0000 UTC]

thanks for reading.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

AlecBell In reply to oldest-boy [2010-07-30 23:10:41 +0000 UTC]

Certainly my pleasure!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

RunningBear5858 [2010-06-11 12:55:22 +0000 UTC]

The first line pulled me in immediately and you kept my attention throughout the entire thing. This is raw, dirty and real, I adore it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oldest-boy In reply to RunningBear5858 [2010-07-30 20:50:25 +0000 UTC]

thanks <3

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

DailyLitDeviations [2010-06-11 07:19:42 +0000 UTC]

Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DLD (Daily Literature Deviations) in a news article that can be found here [link]
Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by ing the News Article.

Keep writing and keep creating.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oldest-boy In reply to DailyLitDeviations [2010-07-30 20:49:56 +0000 UTC]

word thanks.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

DailyLitDeviations In reply to oldest-boy [2010-08-01 02:50:16 +0000 UTC]

It was our pleasure.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

1Walkingblind [2010-05-31 01:17:56 +0000 UTC]

The description in this poem is powerfully raw and edgy. The reader gets slightly roughed up by it. This piece defiantly comes from a person who knows what he is doing. Great job

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oldest-boy In reply to 1Walkingblind [2010-07-30 20:50:39 +0000 UTC]

word.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ShadowedAcolyte [2010-03-07 09:02:42 +0000 UTC]

A solid piece--great opening image, although the strength of the work dwindles from there until the "pawn shop" image, and all but the very last bit of the end is awesome.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oldest-boy In reply to ShadowedAcolyte [2010-03-08 01:50:45 +0000 UTC]

thanks kind reader.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Self-Intoxication [2010-02-06 04:59:23 +0000 UTC]

dun nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh BATMAN

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

wearecommunities [2009-12-19 17:19:27 +0000 UTC]

as a dirty musician
i appreciate this very much.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oldest-boy In reply to wearecommunities [2010-01-12 08:04:56 +0000 UTC]

glad you could dig it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

offbyzero [2009-11-21 19:31:11 +0000 UTC]

I like how you said things in a new way so it gave this entire mood to the poem.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oldest-boy In reply to offbyzero [2009-11-29 19:32:43 +0000 UTC]

thank you.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Big-Sway [2009-11-10 01:17:37 +0000 UTC]

That is one delicious piece o poetry.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oldest-boy In reply to Big-Sway [2009-11-15 21:02:08 +0000 UTC]

thanks big swayzee

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

pseudometry [2009-11-09 06:55:15 +0000 UTC]

This is descriptive, rhythmic poetry bliss: the images and cadence are to be savoured.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oldest-boy In reply to pseudometry [2009-11-15 21:07:02 +0000 UTC]

thanks for aways
reading.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

pseudometry In reply to oldest-boy [2009-11-16 04:33:20 +0000 UTC]

My pleasure

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

o0Amphigory0o [2009-11-07 19:53:37 +0000 UTC]

I love the last line. "fish whiskers." It's great

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oldest-boy In reply to o0Amphigory0o [2009-11-08 17:56:42 +0000 UTC]

thanks for reading.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

PlatoPushpin [2009-11-07 19:20:50 +0000 UTC]

I love the first few lines...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oldest-boy In reply to PlatoPushpin [2009-11-08 17:56:51 +0000 UTC]

thank you kindly.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Piscesandthediamonds [2009-11-07 12:26:12 +0000 UTC]

oh my you still have it I loved this...the beginning is amazing...the puking lights

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oldest-boy In reply to Piscesandthediamonds [2009-11-08 17:58:08 +0000 UTC]

thanks!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

YouInventedMe [2009-11-05 01:38:33 +0000 UTC]

rocks and rolls

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oldest-boy In reply to YouInventedMe [2009-11-08 18:01:17 +0000 UTC]

word.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

spoems [2009-11-03 17:23:12 +0000 UTC]

love the last two stanzas - esp

"guitar strings
tired flailing"

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oldest-boy In reply to spoems [2009-11-08 18:01:25 +0000 UTC]

thanks mang.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Garnet-43 [2009-11-03 11:21:57 +0000 UTC]

Delicious.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oldest-boy In reply to Garnet-43 [2009-11-08 18:04:29 +0000 UTC]

thanks Carla! you are often
in my
thoughts.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

nunheh [2009-11-03 08:34:08 +0000 UTC]

Ummm Ummm. Catch me a big old catfish, gobble him up. Although I don't fish, and oddly, like myself, they are bottom feeders.

Interesting images, as always.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oldest-boy In reply to nunheh [2009-11-08 18:04:35 +0000 UTC]

word.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0