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Description
Here’s how I picture the way this ride would work. At the beginning, the guests enter a line room fashioned after the Incan palace, where the protagonist announces his presence to the audience on a screen, in the form of a llama, with Pacha by his side, giving you the rundown on their situation and how they need your help in regaining his human form and ultimately his kingdom. After the doors open, the guests line up to the coaster cars like the one from the movie, with room for 2, maybe 4 people.

The car takes the guests to the throne room where Yzma does Kuzco’s job behind his back shortly before he arrives and soon fires her, right before Pacha enters the room and Kuzco takes him to the plan room and announces his plans to build his summer home smack-dab over his house, driving the villagers out in the process. Pacha disagrees and protests, but emperor, in his arrogance, dismisses him and sends him away, sending the guests into the next room. (Or maybe we can skip this part altogether.)

In the new room is where Yzma and Kronk are plotting to take Kuzco out of the picture (or at least Yzma is), and head to the lever to the secret lab. When Yzma says her iconic quote “Pull the lever, Kronk!”, suddenly she drops through the floor… and so do the guests! Then the guests are raised back up to the track and lines up with the duo and then, whoosh! Yzma, Kronk, and the guests take a brief but intense drop to the lab, where she announces her get-rid-of-Kuzco scheme in hilarious fashion before you stroll through into the scene where Kronk tries to dispose of Kuzco only to fumble and end up with the llama in Pacha’s cart.

Then the guests go through a tunnel with a couple screens showing the part where Kuzco finds himself at Pacha's village hut and argue for a bit then addresses the audience they have a choice to either stay with the peasants or come with him, before he goes walking out into the jungle ahead, which you do anyway 'cause what else can ya do?

Out of the tunnel and into the jungle, where ya see a Kuzco animatronic walkin' by, a fly on a spider web, a dangling animatronic spider dropping in from above, a shadow of a spider eating said fly, then a rustle in the undergrowth and out comes... Bucky the squirrel, who offers a nut to you as you stroll by, after which you land in middle of a den of jaguars! A screen showing Buck doin' a baloon llama and brings up a needle to pop it, scaring Kuzko who begs him not to pop the baloon and he pops it anyway. Then Kuzco shouts "HA!" then covers his mouth too late and the jaguars (also animatronic) spring up, snarling in rage at the one to disturbed their slumber. Then the lights go out and the car picks up speed into a jungle pathway with jaguar props springing from the sides chasing a running Kuzco animatronic along a trackway until ya reach the cliff and the car turns around, cornered by the snarling cats!

Suddenly, Pacha on a vine swings to the rescue... only to overshoot you before returning, and then the car turns back around and you see the two tied to a log before they fall into the river... followed by your drop! After that, you ride along a trackway that's bumpy to simulate the river, even bumping into the rocks before resuming its smoother course, only to realize that there's... a waterfall, and you're powerless to get away! Over the edge is a drop into the lake below and you resume your course attacked by crocodiles (Animatronic ones, of course)! Then you reach the bank and you (and Kuzko and Pacha) get a brief respite before resuming the ride.

Then you come to a bridge where Pacha and Kuzco are fighting on vines with crocodiles snapping below! As you move on you see them a little stuck between the cliff walls as they reach for the vine on a branch. And then you get a sudden burst of speed as you get back up top, with Kuzco cheering his save. THen you enter a tunnel showing the decor of Mudka's Meat Hut with the ex-chef stormin' out leavin' Kronk to take over and running food orders like a pro. And in seats are Yzma and a disguised Kuzco, just feet from each other! Suddenly, the waitors and waitresses spring up to surprise Yzma, distracting her long enough for Pacha to grab Kuzco and skedaddle. Then you stop at a sceen showcasin' Kuzco bringin' ya up to speed followin' the escape and the heaterbreak afterward for reconciling and meeting back up his house. And now they need to return to the palace before the semi-dastardly duo. After the on-screen showcase, the guests move on to the next space: the chase scene.

The Chase Space shows Kuzco & Pacha makin' a break for it lined by red dashes, followed in pursuit by Kronk & Yzma lined by purple arrows, and the guests' cars twist and turn to keep pace with the rhythm of the pursuit. Then Yzma & Kronk glide oveer the ravine, only to get zapped by out-of-nowhere lightning and dropping like stones and Yzma shoutin' "DRAAATTTT!!!" as they fall.

Then back at the palace, Kuzco comes out of the door with a croc bitin' him and sayin' "Okay, why does Yzma even have that lever?!" followed by a drop much briefer than the last one. Pacha runs to the potion cabinet to find the human potion just before Yzma and her assistant pop up, inciting a moment of confusion before Kronk turns on her and she pulls a trapdoor on him, followed by the protagonists fighting over the vial before Yzma spills the other vials to confuse and calls the guards over. Then the guards are turned into animals before chasing Kuzco and Pacha before they literally dropped out of the canals.

Next, Yzma accidentally hits one of the vials and turns into a little cat, but she surprises them by attacking them and Pacha hangs on the ledge for dear life! Kuzco faces a tense decision: Grab the last potion and regain his form, or turn back and save his one true friend. He picks the latter. But the potion falls, followed by Yzma sprung back upward by a convenient trampoline, after which she gets the vial before hitting the ledge above her head. Then Pacha & Kuzco link up and walk up the lining to reach for the vial, just before Yzma snatches it, only to be crushed under a trapdoor opened by Kronk and said vial lands in Pacha's hand.

The next room, Kuzco is back in his human body and celebrating his triumph by dancing to his groove, joined by Pacha.

Then a snippet of a scene of Kronk in scout uniform teaching the kid scouts how to speak squirrel, with an extremely reluctant Yzma in tow. Then you hear Kuzco's line of "Boom, baby!" End of ride.

Personally, I think this went better in my head, but hey, what are ya gonna do? Also, why Disneyland never had an attraction based on The Emperor's New Groove at this point, I'll never know.

The Emperor’s New Groove (c) Disney
Meme template (c) me

Description
Here’s how I picture the way this ride would work. At the beginning, the guests enter a line room fashioned after the Incan palace, where the protagonist announces his presence to the audience on a screen, in the form of a llama, with Pacha by his side, giving you the rundown on their situation and how they need your help in regaining his human form and ultimately his kingdom. After the doors open, the guests line up to the coaster cars like the one from the movie, with room for 2, maybe 4 people.

The car takes the guests to the throne room where Yzma does Kuzco’s job behind his back shortly before he arrives and soon fires her, right before Pacha enters the room and Kuzco takes him to the plan room and announces his plans to build his summer home smack-dab over his house, driving the villagers out in the process. Pacha disagrees and protests, but emperor, in his arrogance, dismisses him and sends him away, sending the guests into the next room. (Or maybe we can skip this part altogether.)

In the new room is where Yzma and Kronk are plotting to take Kuzco out of the picture (or at least Yzma is), and head to the lever to the secret lab. When Yzma says her iconic quote “Pull the lever, Kronk!”, suddenly she drops through the floor… and so do the guests! Then the guests are raised back up to the track and lines up with the duo and then, whoosh! Yzma, Kronk, and the guests take a brief but intense drop to the lab, where she announces her get-rid-of-Kuzco scheme in hilarious fashion before you stroll through into the scene where Kronk tries to dispose of Kuzco only to fumble and end up with the llama in Pacha’s cart.

Then the guests go through a tunnel with a couple screens showing the part where Kuzco finds himself at Pacha's village hut and argue for a bit then addresses the audience they have a choice to either stay with the peasants or come with him, before he goes walking out into the jungle ahead, which you do anyway 'cause what else can ya do?

Out of the tunnel and into the jungle, where ya see a Kuzco animatronic walkin' by, a fly on a spider web, a dangling animatronic spider dropping in from above, a shadow of a spider eating said fly, then a rustle in the undergrowth and out comes... Bucky the squirrel, who offers a nut to you as you stroll by, after which you land in middle of a den of jaguars! A screen showing Buck doin' a baloon llama and brings up a needle to pop it, scaring Kuzko who begs him not to pop the baloon and he pops it anyway. Then Kuzco shouts "HA!" then covers his mouth too late and the jaguars (also animatronic) spring up, snarling in rage at the one to disturbed their slumber. Then the lights go out and the car picks up speed into a jungle pathway with jaguar props springing from the sides chasing a running Kuzco animatronic along a trackway until ya reach the cliff and the car turns around, cornered by the snarling cats!

Suddenly, Pacha on a vine swings to the rescue... only to overshoot you before returning, and then the car turns back around and you see the two tied to a log before they fall into the river... followed by your drop! After that, you ride along a trackway that's bumpy to simulate the river, even bumping into the rocks before resuming its smoother course, only to realize that there's... a waterfall, and you're powerless to get away! Over the edge is a drop into the lake below and you resume your course attacked by crocodiles (Animatronic ones, of course)! Then you reach the bank and you (and Kuzko and Pacha) get a brief respite before resuming the ride.

Then you come to a bridge where Pacha and Kuzco are fighting on vines with crocodiles snapping below! As you move on you see them a little stuck between the cliff walls as they reach for the vine on a branch. And then you get a sudden burst of speed as you get back up top, with Kuzco cheering his save. THen you enter a tunnel showing the decor of Mudka's Meat Hut with the ex-chef stormin' out leavin' Kronk to take over and running food orders like a pro. And in seats are Yzma and a disguised Kuzco, just feet from each other! Suddenly, the waitors and waitresses spring up to surprise Yzma, distracting her long enough for Pacha to grab Kuzco and skedaddle. Then you stop at a sceen showcasin' Kuzco bringin' ya up to speed followin' the escape and the heaterbreak afterward for reconciling and meeting back up his house. And now they need to return to the palace before the semi-dastardly duo. After the on-screen showcase, the guests move on to the next space: the chase scene.

The Chase Space shows Kuzco & Pacha makin' a break for it lined by red dashes, followed in pursuit by Kronk & Yzma lined by purple arrows, and the guests' cars twist and turn to keep pace with the rhythm of the pursuit. Then Yzma & Kronk glide oveer the ravine, only to get zapped by out-of-nowhere lightning and dropping like stones and Yzma shoutin' "DRAAATTTT!!!" as they fall.

Then back at the palace, Kuzco comes out of the door with a croc bitin' him and sayin' "Okay, why does Yzma even have that lever?!" followed by a drop much briefer than the last one. Pacha runs to the potion cabinet to find the human potion just before Yzma and her assistant pop up, inciting a moment of confusion before Kronk turns on her and she pulls a trapdoor on him, followed by the protagonists fighting over the vial before Yzma spills the other vials to confuse and calls the guards over. Then the guards are turned into animals before chasing Kuzco and Pacha before they literally dropped out of the canals.

Next, Yzma accidentally hits one of the vials and turns into a little cat, but she surprises them by attacking them and Pacha hangs on the ledge for dear life! Kuzco faces a tense decision: Grab the last potion and regain his form, or turn back and save his one true friend. He picks the latter. But the potion falls, followed by Yzma sprung back upward by a convenient trampoline, after which she gets the vial before hitting the ledge above her head. Then Pacha & Kuzco link up and walk up the lining to reach for the vial, just before Yzma snatches it, only to be crushed under a trapdoor opened by Kronk and said vial lands in Pacha's hand.

The next room, Kuzco is back in his human body and celebrating his triumph by dancing to his groove, joined by Pacha.

Then a snippet of a scene of Kronk in scout uniform teaching the kid scouts how to speak squirrel, with an extremely reluctant Yzma in tow. Then you hear Kuzco's line of "Boom, baby!" End of ride.

Personally, I think this went better in my head, but hey, what are ya gonna do? Also, why Disneyland never had an attraction based on The Emperor's New Groove at this point, I'll never know.

The Emperor’s New Groove (c) Disney
Meme template (c) me