Description
Lore lovers rejoice! What do a fledgling Canada accepting annexation to pay off their debts after an incredibly corrupt Canada Pacific Railway project, an unrealistically successful all-Mexico movement in the 1850s, and a massive Mormon population that would bring a tear of joy to Brigham Young's eye all have in common? They're all things I made up after the fact to justify this map!
The dream of the State of Deseret never died in the hearts of the proud Mormons of the American South West! It barreled through the northernmost states conquered in the Great Mexican-American War, winning hearts and minds with promises of untold joy in the afterlife. The reward for their patience? An honest-to-God theodemocratic regional state association. Isn't that something?
But perhaps even more pleased were the Sons of Confederate Veterans who successfully negotiated an absurdly large Dixie region, comprising of states that didn't even secede in the first place! Cartographers around the world noted how aesthetic Missouri looks in the CSA. What's that? There are way too many states in it? Wrong. It hardly even borders the actual Mason-Dixon line.
But not as aesthetic as the lush greens of the Pacific North West, who nearly a century ahead of schedule invented Cascadian bioregionalism. From Sitka to Seattle, from Prince Rupert to Portland and everything in between, Cascadia's clean air is perhaps only tarnished by the air of smug superiority that resonates from all of its citizens. Why is Hawaii there? Don't think about it too hard. It could hardly be part of Deseret, right?
In the heart of the American continent lies the aptly-named Heartland. The nation's vast breadbasket while hardly being 10? percent of the population (I haven't really checked), Heartlanders are known for being incredibly indignant about their influence on the Presidential election. After all, why should California have more votes than Wyoming, right?
And there, straddling the Great Lakes, is God's own country. The vast freshwater, the life-giving well of America, coupled with endless industry and manufacturing that will never, ever go away. If you own a car, it came from the Great Lakes region. If you have asthma, it too probably came from the Great Lakes region.
"Atlantica" was actually the second choice for the artificial conglomeration of every state that was left when "Waspopolis" was rejected in a narrow referendum. These are some of the oldest colonies in America, and outside of New York, their populations are typically the oldest stock in the country. How does Catholic, French-speaking Lower Canada contend being associated with the homeland of the White Anglo-Saxon Protestant? Next question.
As someone who has been described as "painfully Caucasian," I will be the first to admit that I have no rightful idea how Mexico works, what it's like to live there, or really a lot of its history outside of the 19th century. I've already butchered its states by combining them all into much bigger, arbitrary ones, so I figure I might as well (kind of) restore it as an entity in this strange new America. Baja California and Yucatan aren't part of it, though. Why? Because those are always the parts that people muck around with in alt-history and I'm nothing if not trendy. I'm sure that no one in Mexico harbours any sort of grudge against being annexed by a foreign power. I bet everyone there is really satisfied with this arrangement.
Now we come to the Caribbean. A land whose economy is based on equal parts tourism and abhorrent near-slave like farming conditions to make sure Americans can get cheap bananas and sugar at the grocery store. One of the features of the regional system is the ability to veto certain federal mandates, like worker safety and the minimum wage! Fair trade? Hasn't been invented yet! I hear the intense human suffering and roaming United Fruit Company death squads make the fruit taste that much sweeter.
And finally, the Arctic. What goes on up here? I don't think anybody really knows. I'll tell you what doesn't go on: anything important. This sparsely populated nearly-uninhabitable frigid wasteland is home to only the hardiest of natives and the few settlers crazy enough to make the long trek north. Statehood is not on the cards for any of these territories. It's just a terribly unpleasant place to live.