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Description
MUST GO FASTER!

"Eponine" was on her own. During a test of her Warp Engines, the USS Jeanne D'Arc's lone starfighter, an SF-14 named after the literary character had suffered a computer malfunction in her warp drive system, the problem of which Lt. Commander Derrick Price was working on in the fighter engineer's seat.

"I think I've got it!" Mr. Price exclaimed "It'll take a few minutes to restart the system."

Major Tachibana asked "How long will it take to get us back to the Arc?"

"About two hours. Sooner if they finish that medical emergency early and head our way."

In the seats in front of him sat young Ensign Decker, who was piloting the craft, and Major Tachibana in the combat systems position. As they had been stranded for a good 10 hours, the Major had broken three cans out of the emergency provisions and handed them out.

"Good ol' Feder-Rations" she said with a smile. "Pop the top and they cook instantly."

"Oh joy." was Mr. Decker's reply as he looked at the can "You know some of this stuff was canned when I was in the third grade!"

"Don't fret, Ensign. This ain't the Human Nutritional Supplement Fed-Rat you tried a few weeks ago. These are the Morale Boosting Fed-Rats." The Major explained "Let see what we have... Chili Con Carne, Beef Stroganov, and Tuna Casserole."

Mr. Price chimed in "I call Chili!" quickly followed by Ens Decker "I'll take the Stroganov!"

An annoyed Major Tachibana was forced to explain something. "Hey, I've got the rank, here! I get first dibs... Lucky for you two I like Fed-Rats Tuna casserole."

Just as the Major was handing out the cans, something unexpected occurred. Behind them a K'Vort class Bird of Prey de-cloaked.

Mr. Price was the first to react "KLINGONS! MUST GO FASTER! Step on it, Decker! Get as far from him as you can!"

"BELAY THAT!" the Major shouted as she tapped a few buttons on her console "Shields up! Decker, match his speed and stay no more than a kilometer directly ahead of him!"

"Are you insane?" The ensign asked, though doing as he was told.

"Running is the insane part. The K'Vort is a hit-and-run ship. She can't train her disruptors on us at this distance. She has a disruptor and tractor beam blind spot in a 1 km triangle directly ahead of her!"

Mr. Price was doubtful "What about that freakin' photon torpedo tube?"

"At this distance?" The Major responded "A hit this close will tear their ship apart as well, and the Klingons don't want to go to Sto Vo Kor trying to kill a weaker foe. Believe me, this is the safest place to be when facing a K'vort. It's the D7's you want to run from. Just give me a status update on the restart!"

"30 seconds!"

Ensign Decker then said "We're being hailed!"

The Klingon Captain's voice crackled into the cockpit "Federation Vessel, this is Commander Chang! Surrender and your deaths will be swift!"

The Major smiled before replying "Commander Chang, this is the Slayer of K'Tinga! If you wish to join him, come and take us yourself!"

Chang hesitated for a second. It was a bluff, but it worked just long enough for the system to finish it's restart.

"Warp engines are online!" an excited Price shouted.

"Hit it, Decker!"

Without delay, Cam Decker fired up the engines and within a second "Eponine" blasted off for home.

On the bridge of the Klingon ship, Commander Chang looked at where "Eponine" had been.

"She knew right where to be so that we couldn't hit her. Brilliant."

His second officer addressed him

"Shall we pursue, Commander?"

"Not today, Klaa. There's no honor is defeting the Slayer of K'Tinga in such a way. Set a course for Qo'noS!"

--0--

If you got the joke in the first sentence, good for you! (if you didn't, oh well. )

Part of The Major's backstory is a duel she won against the Klingon Col. K'Tinga. She has garnered some amount of fame in the Klingon empire to the point that most Klingon commanders would prefer to fight her in a duel (it's a similar reputation to Kirk's as a starship captain)

The Fed-Rats Human Nutritional Supplement consist of a mixture of figs, peanuts, potatoes, honey, green tea and added vitamins and minerals formulated to provide complete nutrition for a human. There are similar mixtures for Andorians, Tellerites, Vulcans, Betazoids, and Caitins, just to name a few. As the Major would say "It might not be the best tasting stuff around, but this slop will keep you going strong for weeks." As for the "Morale-Boosting" varieties, if you name it, they have it (I hear the plomeek soup is particularly good.)

Description
MUST GO FASTER!

"Eponine" was on her own. During a test of her Warp Engines, the USS Jeanne D'Arc's lone starfighter, an SF-14 named after the literary character had suffered a computer malfunction in her warp drive system, the problem of which Lt. Commander Derrick Price was working on in the fighter engineer's seat.

"I think I've got it!" Mr. Price exclaimed "It'll take a few minutes to restart the system."

Major Tachibana asked "How long will it take to get us back to the Arc?"

"About two hours. Sooner if they finish that medical emergency early and head our way."

In the seats in front of him sat young Ensign Decker, who was piloting the craft, and Major Tachibana in the combat systems position. As they had been stranded for a good 10 hours, the Major had broken three cans out of the emergency provisions and handed them out.

"Good ol' Feder-Rations" she said with a smile. "Pop the top and they cook instantly."

"Oh joy." was Mr. Decker's reply as he looked at the can "You know some of this stuff was canned when I was in the third grade!"

"Don't fret, Ensign. This ain't the Human Nutritional Supplement Fed-Rat you tried a few weeks ago. These are the Morale Boosting Fed-Rats." The Major explained "Let see what we have... Chili Con Carne, Beef Stroganov, and Tuna Casserole."

Mr. Price chimed in "I call Chili!" quickly followed by Ens Decker "I'll take the Stroganov!"

An annoyed Major Tachibana was forced to explain something. "Hey, I've got the rank, here! I get first dibs... Lucky for you two I like Fed-Rats Tuna casserole."

Just as the Major was handing out the cans, something unexpected occurred. Behind them a K'Vort class Bird of Prey de-cloaked.

Mr. Price was the first to react "KLINGONS! MUST GO FASTER! Step on it, Decker! Get as far from him as you can!"

"BELAY THAT!" the Major shouted as she tapped a few buttons on her console "Shields up! Decker, match his speed and stay no more than a kilometer directly ahead of him!"

"Are you insane?" The ensign asked, though doing as he was told.

"Running is the insane part. The K'Vort is a hit-and-run ship. She can't train her disruptors on us at this distance. She has a disruptor and tractor beam blind spot in a 1 km triangle directly ahead of her!"

Mr. Price was doubtful "What about that freakin' photon torpedo tube?"

"At this distance?" The Major responded "A hit this close will tear their ship apart as well, and the Klingons don't want to go to Sto Vo Kor trying to kill a weaker foe. Believe me, this is the safest place to be when facing a K'vort. It's the D7's you want to run from. Just give me a status update on the restart!"

"30 seconds!"

Ensign Decker then said "We're being hailed!"

The Klingon Captain's voice crackled into the cockpit "Federation Vessel, this is Commander Chang! Surrender and your deaths will be swift!"

The Major smiled before replying "Commander Chang, this is the Slayer of K'Tinga! If you wish to join him, come and take us yourself!"

Chang hesitated for a second. It was a bluff, but it worked just long enough for the system to finish it's restart.

"Warp engines are online!" an excited Price shouted.

"Hit it, Decker!"

Without delay, Cam Decker fired up the engines and within a second "Eponine" blasted off for home.

On the bridge of the Klingon ship, Commander Chang looked at where "Eponine" had been.

"She knew right where to be so that we couldn't hit her. Brilliant."

His second officer addressed him

"Shall we pursue, Commander?"

"Not today, Klaa. There's no honor is defeting the Slayer of K'Tinga in such a way. Set a course for Qo'noS!"

--0--

If you got the joke in the first sentence, good for you! (if you didn't, oh well. )

Part of The Major's backstory is a duel she won against the Klingon Col. K'Tinga. She has garnered some amount of fame in the Klingon empire to the point that most Klingon commanders would prefer to fight her in a duel (it's a similar reputation to Kirk's as a starship captain)

The Fed-Rats Human Nutritional Supplement consist of a mixture of figs, peanuts, potatoes, honey, green tea and added vitamins and minerals formulated to provide complete nutrition for a human. There are similar mixtures for Andorians, Tellerites, Vulcans, Betazoids, and Caitins, just to name a few. As the Major would say "It might not be the best tasting stuff around, but this slop will keep you going strong for weeks." As for the "Morale-Boosting" varieties, if you name it, they have it (I hear the plomeek soup is particularly good.)