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Shadowkat678 — An Unwanted Angel
Published: 2014-07-01 22:25:40 +0000 UTC; Views: 440; Favourites: 17; Downloads: 0
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Description
Snow falls down softly
This cold winter night
Lamplight illuminating
A small angel in white
Her name is Emily
A girl of but six
She shivers alone
Coughing and sick
Tears freeze on her cheeks
Head bowed in prayer
Hoping to be found
For someone to care
An unwanted angel
Sits shivering in fright
Knowing how close
She is to losing her fight
Uncared for and alone
She takes her last breath
And on Christmas Eve night
This angel meets death
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Comments: 35
Hey there,
Prettyflour here on behalf of with the critique you requested.
This is a really lovely poem. The way you’ve constructed this and the font both lend softness to such a sad story. The poem has good flow and rhyme, and great imagery too. I got the chills while reading it!
Honestly… I don’t have any constructive feedback to offer. I think you did some fantastic writing!
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Touched I am by this poem. Shame it is that many are unaware of that which rests at their feet.
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you're welcome. It was a very engaging read.
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Thank you again anyway!
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I just wish I could do something for all these kids besides writing awareness poems...
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Yeah totally...overwhelming...I wrote a poem about a homeless woman...the problems never end
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Would you care to read the poem I wrote about a homeless woman?
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shep4life.deviantart.com/art/T…
Enjoy!
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Death takes her hand, leads her away
thanking the spirits on this hollowed day
for in this poor angel death only knew
Was a beautiful spirit, about to renew
SORRY it touched me so much i had to.......
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No problem, I liked that.
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Awww... So touching...
Hard to believe it came out of pretty much nowhere
May I (try to) draw it? - I'll give you credit, of course.
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Go ahead, I'd love to see it. I can do pretty much anything with words, but if you ask me to draw a line I'd probably end up with a circle...
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Thanks - even though I'm not half as good at creating feelings with lines as you are creating feelings with words (That probably made no sense at all XD )
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Actually, it does. Words are made up of lines, just as drawings are. Both give off emotion, both are made by people who pour themselves into them, both are art. They have a lot more in common than people think.
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Ooo, deep (And that's why YOU are the poet)
But it makes total sense ^^
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Thanks. It's one of the things I'm good at. Deep thinking is something I've always liked to do, my friend likes to joke that if anyone discovers the meaning of life, it'll be me. Unfortunately, it has a tendency to become a double edged sword...
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Your welcome ^^
I feel you... (That whole nobody-understands-depri thing?) But hey, deep thinkers have made and will make the world go round
Well, if you find out the meaning of life, tell me 
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Yeah, that's for sure.
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And thanks a bunch for the watch ^-^
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Don't mention it.
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I already did XD
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This is truly heartbreaking. Every word seems so soft and moving. Well done with this poem.
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So sad. This reminds me of "The Little Match Girl"
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Oh, could you give me a link to that poem? I'm curious now.
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It's a short story:en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Li…
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Wow, sounds like a great, though tragic, story. I'll have to read it.
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Yeah, I have a habit of writing sad things...
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