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Description

23.3.2022

Paint Tool SAI
Work in progress images: www.deviantart.com/skudde/art/…

Look at me, doing digital painting for once!

Been struggling with mental health extra hard recently. It's like wherever I go and no matter what is happening around me, I'm always a glance into the wrong direction away from sinking in deep again. Supposedly nice things feel like nothing, and supposedly neutral things drag me down for no reason. I've been fighting this long enough to know when things are bad due to circumstance and that it's going to pass, but it's nevertheless excruciating to keep hitting that emotional bear trap wherever I turn. There's only so much one person can take.

It's not all bad though; I was finally diagnosed with PTSD after all these years and learned that my lack of energy can likely be attributed to the fact that for up to one 10th of the time I spend asleep I'm simply not breathing. (severe sleep apnea babyy) Treatment for both is on the horizon.

On a completely separate topic, Quany's design kinda exists in two different worlds at once. On one hand she's one of the phoenixes in my headworld and a relatively meaningless side character in the story, and on the other I use her looks as an alter ego of sorts and she acts as a sona whenever I need one. These two appearances are completely separate but it may not be obvious from my drawings of her which is being depicted in each one.

I've always needed a separate sona but I'm too attached to Quany despite the contradiction. Well, I did have Red for a year but I swear there's only one person reading this who remembers that. (you know who you are)

Quanafyron & art (c) Me

Description

23.3.2022

Paint Tool SAI
Work in progress images: www.deviantart.com/skudde/art/…

Look at me, doing digital painting for once!

Been struggling with mental health extra hard recently. It's like wherever I go and no matter what is happening around me, I'm always a glance into the wrong direction away from sinking in deep again. Supposedly nice things feel like nothing, and supposedly neutral things drag me down for no reason. I've been fighting this long enough to know when things are bad due to circumstance and that it's going to pass, but it's nevertheless excruciating to keep hitting that emotional bear trap wherever I turn. There's only so much one person can take.

It's not all bad though; I was finally diagnosed with PTSD after all these years and learned that my lack of energy can likely be attributed to the fact that for up to one 10th of the time I spend asleep I'm simply not breathing. (severe sleep apnea babyy) Treatment for both is on the horizon.

On a completely separate topic, Quany's design kinda exists in two different worlds at once. On one hand she's one of the phoenixes in my headworld and a relatively meaningless side character in the story, and on the other I use her looks as an alter ego of sorts and she acts as a sona whenever I need one. These two appearances are completely separate but it may not be obvious from my drawings of her which is being depicted in each one.

I've always needed a separate sona but I'm too attached to Quany despite the contradiction. Well, I did have Red for a year but I swear there's only one person reading this who remembers that. (you know who you are)

Quanafyron & art (c) Me