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sliverofciel — tosunday
Published: 2010-11-06 01:02:04 +0000 UTC; Views: 603; Favourites: 12; Downloads: 5
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Description the slow smudging around, you called it
change. that face with eyebrows pulled
sad and lids like silt, clean, really clean,
rain sashaying down a street clean. me

and my tendency of being peculiar, not
a good good customer to the boys and
their twitter-this love, little birds cheep
cheap cheap

weathercocks in strong wind.



slash the price down, clear miss vain and
glorious:

i need to return to being where i was,
your low cost consumer of loving love

half-price on sunday.
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Comments: 12

indoorfireworksxx [2010-12-04 20:02:30 +0000 UTC]

The price and bird imagery works so well, this is really beautiful.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

PoisonLikeYourOwn [2010-11-08 19:42:36 +0000 UTC]

I absolutely adore the structure of this, the choppy places where the lines end sometimes doesn't really work, but here it's wonderful.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

sliverofciel In reply to PoisonLikeYourOwn [2010-11-09 00:18:14 +0000 UTC]

thanks!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

archelyxs [2010-11-06 20:34:55 +0000 UTC]

I love the way your words rise and fall like shattered waves.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

sliverofciel In reply to archelyxs [2010-11-09 00:18:08 +0000 UTC]

thank you.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

prettyflour [2010-11-06 14:25:04 +0000 UTC]

love the last line!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

sliverofciel In reply to prettyflour [2010-11-09 00:18:01 +0000 UTC]

thank you!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

WanderingHere [2010-11-06 02:43:59 +0000 UTC]

this is brilliant. it's so quirky and eloquent.

particularly love the last two stanzas.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

sliverofciel In reply to WanderingHere [2010-11-09 00:17:56 +0000 UTC]

thanks!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

WanderingHere In reply to sliverofciel [2010-11-11 00:43:46 +0000 UTC]

welcome. (:

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

et141311 [2010-11-06 01:09:19 +0000 UTC]

Wow. Very well done. I really like this piece, from start to finish.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

sliverofciel In reply to et141311 [2010-11-09 00:17:46 +0000 UTC]

thank you.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0