ahsoka626 [2014-08-13 01:45:18 +0000 UTC]
I like it a lot!!! LOL Hanami is such a ding-dong XDDD And I understand her frustration with Sekka; I hate it when characters constantly die on me in FF 12!!!!As for the content, my only comment would be to stay consistent in your POV. You switch from first person to third person a lot, so you need to pick one and stick with it. Other than that, good job!! I'll read the rest when I have more time
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Snowflower--Chan00 In reply to ahsoka626 [2014-08-13 02:31:55 +0000 UTC]
LOL. It thanks to her dad's influence. LOL. SO HAPPY to hear from u again on here. I've been sad since you've been gone. Please try to be here when u can. IKR, that is happening to me right now in FFX-2. DAMN IT. I keep wasting phoenix down. LOL. I miss FF12. But I will make a tribute chapter to it, when Mayu gets sucked into it through a portal and even meets vaan. XD. Maybe next chapter, nah the chapter after it. Okay. Hm, I do like third person, but first person is really cool. . .. I guess third person it is. YAY!!! Oh now, I am introducing Hanami's and Asuka's school friend, they are best friend's with her she has shoulder length blue hair and violet eyes. Cute huh? Hoping. XD.
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