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The-Triforce-Kid — Corruption chapter.6 part.1 [NSFW]
Published: 2012-06-11 19:37:42 +0000 UTC; Views: 273; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 0
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Description Chapter 6 Part 1: Victor's Past and River Wood Fear


Night was still looming around. While Roy was asleep after his injuries got treated from the fight in the sewers, Zack was looking at the film in the camera. "I can't believe it... we're living David Leopard's fantasy…"  he said to himself. Victor was sitting nearby, just shaking his head, groaning as Zack got up, walking over to him. "Hey, are you all right?" he questioned as Victor nodded, seeming shaken from thinking back on old memories, it appeared.


"… So in the war… what really happened to you?... You don't seem like the kind of guy who'd change completely over 1 man's death…" Zack stated, sitting down beside Victor as he growled, shaking his head. "The mayor told you what happened to my family… I had to kill them myself after those damn monsters turned them into freaks… it was what happened during the war…" Victor started talking, as he seemed to get more and more depressed the more he talked about it.


"I… I got dishonorably discharged… I couldn't save my best friend or my other 5 team members…" Victor implied, holding his head as Zack nodded. "That wasn't your fault. I've read the police document on you, there was a mortar team set up-" Zack got cut off by Victor. "There was no damn mortar team! That was just a cover made up by the government!... The nightmare curse… it was there, the only survivors were me and David Leopard. We somehow made it through all the monsters…" Victor responded, telling Zack about what had really happened to him.


Zack saw it was day light and sighed, getting up and walking away, thinking Victor would like time to be alone after looking back on the horrible memories. As Zack saw the sun had begun rising, he stepped outside the church, lighting a cigarette before heading back to the car. He was just looking back on everything he had saw since he and Roy had entered the town. Once at the car, Zack sighed, getting inside and starting the engine and driving off, heading back to the station.


Roy yawned, starting to wake up. He could hear screaming coming outside. To his confusion, he looked around, seeing everyone left the church in the daytime, thinking it was safe. He saw Victor immediately approaching him. "What's with the yelling?" Roy asked, hearing screaming. Victor was standing at the door holding Zack's shotgun. "T-the monsters! A-a few still are around! The light ain't getting rid of them!" Victor shouted as Roy growled, getting his handgun out.


"We got to help the people… and since Zack's gone, it looks like I'll be relying on you to watch my back, Victor…" Roy insisted, patting Victor's back. As he opened the door, walking outside, Victor right behind him, they saw a monster with its skull showing and one eye hanging out of its socket. It was eating a child, it seemed. Roy didn't hesitate in aiming and shooting the monster in the skull. "How many monsters are there left?" he asked, hoping Victor would know.


"5… T-they all were in front of the church, and I saw them all stay in the light and be unharmed…" Victor replied as he looked scared. "Okay, Victor, we need to split up... you keep the shotgun. Radio me if you need help." Roy told Victor, trying to reassure him. He gave him a radio before they ran in opposite directions to help the others in the town.


-End of Chapter 6 Part 1-
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Comments: 18

Aelita15 [2012-06-11 20:05:22 +0000 UTC]

Overall

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Originality

Technique

Impact


tri this cahapter scared me a lot i was freacking out and wantting to know more. I love readding your wrighting becaues when its over i want more. i am addicted to your wrighting and this chapter just made it more of an addiction. I love to wright but im problubly not as good as you when it comes to scarring peaple. Its a scary good and I think that the next part will be even better. If only I were with you then I would problubly hide in you arms if this was made into a movie. You know I would problubly hid in you arms anyway movie or not.

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The-Triforce-Kid In reply to Aelita15 [2012-06-11 20:12:37 +0000 UTC]

tanks a ton mel glad you enjoyed it

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Aelita15 In reply to The-Triforce-Kid [2012-06-11 20:17:53 +0000 UTC]

thanks im still scared though

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The-Triforce-Kid In reply to Aelita15 [2012-06-11 20:19:34 +0000 UTC]

sorry but horror's horror its expected

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Aelita15 In reply to The-Triforce-Kid [2012-06-11 20:41:49 +0000 UTC]

yeah but i would wanna hided in your arms right now

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The-Triforce-Kid In reply to Aelita15 [2012-06-11 20:44:32 +0000 UTC]

an i'd love to have ya do that i wish we could

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Aelita15 In reply to The-Triforce-Kid [2012-06-12 01:49:22 +0000 UTC]

me too love

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TeddyLama [2012-06-20 00:02:20 +0000 UTC]

This was a good chapter, like the rest of them, but then again, I don't find it just as good as the last one.
But I would not say it is bad, so don't get me wrong.

The reason that it's not as good as the previous ones is probably that the sentences are not built up as well as they've been earlier, and it also seemed like the actions were a bit rushed. It didn't seem like you enjoyed writing this, as it has seemed with the ones before this.

Never the less, the actions in this chapter is not bad. I like that we get to know more about Victors past, even though also the explanation on this is also rushed. I think it could have been better had it been built like the dialogs in the chapters before this.
The thing I liked most about the chapter is definitively the monster. It's the 'worst' one so far, which is positive

Okay work, but I think this one could have been improved

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The-Triforce-Kid In reply to TeddyLama [2012-06-20 00:06:36 +0000 UTC]

haha tanks a ton

and yeah sorry ii can guarantee the other chapters are gooder sorry again

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TeddyLama In reply to The-Triforce-Kid [2012-06-20 00:18:08 +0000 UTC]



Ah, don't worry, I've read the other part, and it is indeed better !

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ShadowEevee128 [2012-06-16 20:30:29 +0000 UTC]

oh man, daylight can't even kill them anymore. This is getting really bad.

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The-Triforce-Kid In reply to ShadowEevee128 [2012-06-16 20:31:44 +0000 UTC]

i know right? favorite part?

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ShadowEevee128 In reply to The-Triforce-Kid [2012-06-16 20:47:09 +0000 UTC]

learning about Victor's past.

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The-Triforce-Kid In reply to ShadowEevee128 [2012-06-16 20:51:55 +0000 UTC]

i know right

tanks a ton

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Aelita15 [2012-06-11 20:00:44 +0000 UTC]

is it safe to say that this chapter scared me......I like it when roy woke u

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The-Triforce-Kid In reply to Aelita15 [2012-06-11 20:01:25 +0000 UTC]

yeah it is

tanks a ton glad you like it

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The-Irish-Clover [2012-06-11 19:39:48 +0000 UTC]

Wow, those monsters are getting worse by each chapter. X3 Victor's past has to be my favourite bit...

Nice work.

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The-Triforce-Kid In reply to The-Irish-Clover [2012-06-11 19:41:14 +0000 UTC]

i know right they get stronger and tougher and worse each part

many tanks

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