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Description
A letter to God

Dear God.

Hello. I've got some things to ask you, if you have a moment? Like how you expect me to react when you keep throwing all this stuff at me. I mean, I know that in the end you want me to be good, and honest, and wise... but you're got a funny way of showing it. I mean, first you give me an adorable perfect family with nothing but happiness and good education. Then you strip that away, give me a mother who will inspire distrust and fear of women for the rest of my life in me and then, just to confuse me, you give me an even better education. Then you make my father loose loads of money, loose jobs, loose property... and give me a wonderful job as a kid. What are you trying to say here? I'm really quite confused. Then you inspire me to clam up and hide in the darkness with my books. Fine, I can handle that. I get smarter after all, which is a good thing, right? But then you make me fall head over heels in love with a beautiful girl. That's so nice of her! Then she stabs me while giving me a kiss.

I think you're sending me mixed messages here, Mr. God. Or at least if they are consistent, I'm more than a little confused. Which part did I miss? I know you saw fit to give me mental disorders which drain much of my memories and confuse the present, muddling my personality and destroying my emotions. OK, if it was a joke, it'd be pretty funny I have to admit. Not knowing whether the hallucinations are real threats or if you're still in the dream. Cute. Then you made me love drawing but suck at it. Alright, I'll admit I could have tried harder, fine. But maybe you could have made fewer people tell me they were bad at least, right? Ah, but that's the whole 'self confidence' test, right? Poo.

Oh, and then to be funny you make me a natural at Kung Fu. I feel it in my very soul, it just makes sense and I have a real talent for it. Thank you very much! I really do appreciate it. But do you really have to throw so many trials of it at me? Rape attempts, murder attempts by my mother, assaults and muggings by dozens of strangers and 'friends' alike? I mean, it seems a bit harsh. Wasn't once enough? I'll admit, it kinda sounds like a Jackie Chan comedy. Little white boy turns out to be great at Chinese martial arts, gets attacked constantly in humorous situations, you know, like alleyway knife fights. Funny!

Oh God, you're such a comedian! And then you make me hate you and your creation so much that I turn to first demonic cults, permanently scarring me, I might add, and then so far dark that I believe in nothing at all. Then however, I must admit, you did do a wonderful thing. You showed me where to find the inner strength, the knowledge and the wisdom to believe in you once again. Or at least in existence once again. I still think talking to you is a bit silly, but I can't think of any other explanation for how incredibly strange my life has been other than you're one hell of a bored and very creative humorist. Which is OK, I guess, because after all I have said, (possibly to my damnation) that I seek knowledge and experiences over all else. I may be miserable, but at least I'm learning something.

So, then lets just jump ahead about half a decade of finding out what friends can actually be and get to the good parts. You plot an amazing girl, practically right into my lap, nay into my very BED one day, and let me fall head over heels in love with her, too. You give me the astounding gift of being happier than I have been in my entire life.

Then you make her suddenly hate me, for no particular reason, after 8 days of absolute bliss. Strange. I was a bit upset by that, you know. In future, when you show me an amazing girl I can't stop thinking about, will you at least let me have more of a chance? I'd appreciate it very much, thank you.

Oh, and then you make a bunch of young girls (illegal in my country, I might add!) fall in love with me and actually have really cool personalities. Then they all see me as a big brother figure and I become a mentor. Which is kind of nice, I have to admit, for someone to look up to me. But they're so tantalizing, and then they're so illegal, and I get all confused. Haha! Funny one, God!

They say temptation can lead to strength, right? Well, I sure hope it has worked. But the best part is yet to come, isn't it?

Then you do a most curious thing. You break my brain. You destroy my understanding of time, reality, dreams and memories. You leave me adrift in a sea of confusion, darkness, and muddled emotions brought on by the terror of barely knowing who or even what I am. You give me insights into the very nature of the universe, and for that I am eternally grateful. But then you give me a weird speech impediment, and make me unable to talk about what I've figured out. Then you make me betray friends while not even acting as myself, putting myself, my personality in the back seat while someone else takes over for a while until I wrestle control back. That was... interesting. But its not over, is it? You ruin my reputation with that little stunt, get me addicted to happiness and dream-inducing pills, provide chronic nightmares, and make me grumpy and full of hate all over again. After all the work I had done on being able to trust girls again, on being able to not be afraid of death from being stabbed by friends... you bring it all crashing down.

And I'm forced to admit, I can't see why. You broke me enough, then let me start to learn from it and I was really becoming a great guy. I really was! Then... you broke me again? What was the point? To make me even stronger after this I hope. I hope you're not going to leave me like this, stranded in a terrifying sea of utter horror at reality, with no sense of time, no solid memories save a few, no consistent emotions, and a permanent fear of dreams and reality. Because, while it makes me very curious and adds to the overall appreciation of your grand creation that is existence, it also makes it a bit hard to concentrate, I'm sorry to say.

So, if you could attend to a couple of these issues and reply soon, I'd appreciate it. Overall, thank you for all you've given me, God, I just wish it didn't have to hurt so much.

Goodnight, God.

Thanking you in advance,
...well, you already know my name.

PS: how will I know which girl is the one? Is it like faith, I'll just know? Probably, right? Can't make it easy for me....

Description
A letter to God

Dear God.

Hello. I've got some things to ask you, if you have a moment? Like how you expect me to react when you keep throwing all this stuff at me. I mean, I know that in the end you want me to be good, and honest, and wise... but you're got a funny way of showing it. I mean, first you give me an adorable perfect family with nothing but happiness and good education. Then you strip that away, give me a mother who will inspire distrust and fear of women for the rest of my life in me and then, just to confuse me, you give me an even better education. Then you make my father loose loads of money, loose jobs, loose property... and give me a wonderful job as a kid. What are you trying to say here? I'm really quite confused. Then you inspire me to clam up and hide in the darkness with my books. Fine, I can handle that. I get smarter after all, which is a good thing, right? But then you make me fall head over heels in love with a beautiful girl. That's so nice of her! Then she stabs me while giving me a kiss.

I think you're sending me mixed messages here, Mr. God. Or at least if they are consistent, I'm more than a little confused. Which part did I miss? I know you saw fit to give me mental disorders which drain much of my memories and confuse the present, muddling my personality and destroying my emotions. OK, if it was a joke, it'd be pretty funny I have to admit. Not knowing whether the hallucinations are real threats or if you're still in the dream. Cute. Then you made me love drawing but suck at it. Alright, I'll admit I could have tried harder, fine. But maybe you could have made fewer people tell me they were bad at least, right? Ah, but that's the whole 'self confidence' test, right? Poo.

Oh, and then to be funny you make me a natural at Kung Fu. I feel it in my very soul, it just makes sense and I have a real talent for it. Thank you very much! I really do appreciate it. But do you really have to throw so many trials of it at me? Rape attempts, murder attempts by my mother, assaults and muggings by dozens of strangers and 'friends' alike? I mean, it seems a bit harsh. Wasn't once enough? I'll admit, it kinda sounds like a Jackie Chan comedy. Little white boy turns out to be great at Chinese martial arts, gets attacked constantly in humorous situations, you know, like alleyway knife fights. Funny!

Oh God, you're such a comedian! And then you make me hate you and your creation so much that I turn to first demonic cults, permanently scarring me, I might add, and then so far dark that I believe in nothing at all. Then however, I must admit, you did do a wonderful thing. You showed me where to find the inner strength, the knowledge and the wisdom to believe in you once again. Or at least in existence once again. I still think talking to you is a bit silly, but I can't think of any other explanation for how incredibly strange my life has been other than you're one hell of a bored and very creative humorist. Which is OK, I guess, because after all I have said, (possibly to my damnation) that I seek knowledge and experiences over all else. I may be miserable, but at least I'm learning something.

So, then lets just jump ahead about half a decade of finding out what friends can actually be and get to the good parts. You plot an amazing girl, practically right into my lap, nay into my very BED one day, and let me fall head over heels in love with her, too. You give me the astounding gift of being happier than I have been in my entire life.

Then you make her suddenly hate me, for no particular reason, after 8 days of absolute bliss. Strange. I was a bit upset by that, you know. In future, when you show me an amazing girl I can't stop thinking about, will you at least let me have more of a chance? I'd appreciate it very much, thank you.

Oh, and then you make a bunch of young girls (illegal in my country, I might add!) fall in love with me and actually have really cool personalities. Then they all see me as a big brother figure and I become a mentor. Which is kind of nice, I have to admit, for someone to look up to me. But they're so tantalizing, and then they're so illegal, and I get all confused. Haha! Funny one, God!

They say temptation can lead to strength, right? Well, I sure hope it has worked. But the best part is yet to come, isn't it?

Then you do a most curious thing. You break my brain. You destroy my understanding of time, reality, dreams and memories. You leave me adrift in a sea of confusion, darkness, and muddled emotions brought on by the terror of barely knowing who or even what I am. You give me insights into the very nature of the universe, and for that I am eternally grateful. But then you give me a weird speech impediment, and make me unable to talk about what I've figured out. Then you make me betray friends while not even acting as myself, putting myself, my personality in the back seat while someone else takes over for a while until I wrestle control back. That was... interesting. But its not over, is it? You ruin my reputation with that little stunt, get me addicted to happiness and dream-inducing pills, provide chronic nightmares, and make me grumpy and full of hate all over again. After all the work I had done on being able to trust girls again, on being able to not be afraid of death from being stabbed by friends... you bring it all crashing down.

And I'm forced to admit, I can't see why. You broke me enough, then let me start to learn from it and I was really becoming a great guy. I really was! Then... you broke me again? What was the point? To make me even stronger after this I hope. I hope you're not going to leave me like this, stranded in a terrifying sea of utter horror at reality, with no sense of time, no solid memories save a few, no consistent emotions, and a permanent fear of dreams and reality. Because, while it makes me very curious and adds to the overall appreciation of your grand creation that is existence, it also makes it a bit hard to concentrate, I'm sorry to say.

So, if you could attend to a couple of these issues and reply soon, I'd appreciate it. Overall, thank you for all you've given me, God, I just wish it didn't have to hurt so much.

Goodnight, God.

Thanking you in advance,
...well, you already know my name.

PS: how will I know which girl is the one? Is it like faith, I'll just know? Probably, right? Can't make it easy for me....