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Description
Snuggled up against you,
whimpering in my sleep,
uncomforted.

Curled up in your arms,
kissing you for hours,
feeling you against me-
flesh against flesh,
you fingers running over me,
caressing
my delicate skin-
gently stroking
every inch
and I do not tire of your touch.

Talking about everything
and nothing
while lazing about
or on the go-
for once I cannot see the actual end.
When I look ahead,
there is no end in sight,
only endless possibilities
and that terrifies me.
Is the end too far out
Or still in flux?

I'm so used
to having an escape route,
to seeing the end
even before the beginning
that this scares me
more than I can tell you.
My soul
is quivering in fear
while I sit here
with a smile on my face,
hiding my turmoil
behind a façade
so carefully constructed
and held in place
by years of use.

It amazes and terrifies me
that you see past
my wondrous façade
to what is underneath
and are not repulsed.

I feel myself
drawn to you-
not just your touch,
your passion,
or your gaze-
but to you as a whole
and it makes me uncomfortable.
Even that you see
me squirming in my skin.

I see how close
we could become
and I am afraid I will push you away
before that happens
because of how scared
it makes me.

You see past
those of my facades
you can...
and in a few short days
you've broken through my defenses,
leaving me nearly naked to your gaze,
shivering and cold
in the darkness of me soul-
terrified that I am no longer alone,
yet exhilarated
that someone understands me
seemingly so well.

I question myself,
wondering how you did it-
how you saw through the masks
I've painstakingly created,
years of work
ruined
with a single glance.

Was my mask so thin
you could see right through it?
Your intent gaze
pierced my armor,
shattering it
into a million tiny,
glass-like shards,
glittering like jewels in the sun.

I want to run,
to hide my naked soul
from your piercing gaze,
yet your sweetness overwhelms me
and I cannot push you away-
I cannot run,
you've trapped me with your kindness
in the sweetest cage-
one I stepped into willingly-
though with some trepidation.

Perhaps this is
the happiness I long for.
I should welcome it
with open arms,
but somehow
I'm afraid of happiness,
afraid your touch
will obliterate who I am,
that your gentle caresses
will sweep away
the person I have become-
all the life and vitality
lost in the oblivion
of my love
or hidden
in a tightly corked bottle,
hidden in the padded depths
of my soul.

Perhaps,
even if I love you
wholly and completely,
I will not lose myself.

Is it worth the risk,
I ask myself,
lost in the sweetness
of your caress...
giving myself over to your kindness,
I lose myself
to my ecstasy.

Description
Snuggled up against you,
whimpering in my sleep,
uncomforted.

Curled up in your arms,
kissing you for hours,
feeling you against me-
flesh against flesh,
you fingers running over me,
caressing
my delicate skin-
gently stroking
every inch
and I do not tire of your touch.

Talking about everything
and nothing
while lazing about
or on the go-
for once I cannot see the actual end.
When I look ahead,
there is no end in sight,
only endless possibilities
and that terrifies me.
Is the end too far out
Or still in flux?

I'm so used
to having an escape route,
to seeing the end
even before the beginning
that this scares me
more than I can tell you.
My soul
is quivering in fear
while I sit here
with a smile on my face,
hiding my turmoil
behind a façade
so carefully constructed
and held in place
by years of use.

It amazes and terrifies me
that you see past
my wondrous façade
to what is underneath
and are not repulsed.

I feel myself
drawn to you-
not just your touch,
your passion,
or your gaze-
but to you as a whole
and it makes me uncomfortable.
Even that you see
me squirming in my skin.

I see how close
we could become
and I am afraid I will push you away
before that happens
because of how scared
it makes me.

You see past
those of my facades
you can...
and in a few short days
you've broken through my defenses,
leaving me nearly naked to your gaze,
shivering and cold
in the darkness of me soul-
terrified that I am no longer alone,
yet exhilarated
that someone understands me
seemingly so well.

I question myself,
wondering how you did it-
how you saw through the masks
I've painstakingly created,
years of work
ruined
with a single glance.

Was my mask so thin
you could see right through it?
Your intent gaze
pierced my armor,
shattering it
into a million tiny,
glass-like shards,
glittering like jewels in the sun.

I want to run,
to hide my naked soul
from your piercing gaze,
yet your sweetness overwhelms me
and I cannot push you away-
I cannot run,
you've trapped me with your kindness
in the sweetest cage-
one I stepped into willingly-
though with some trepidation.

Perhaps this is
the happiness I long for.
I should welcome it
with open arms,
but somehow
I'm afraid of happiness,
afraid your touch
will obliterate who I am,
that your gentle caresses
will sweep away
the person I have become-
all the life and vitality
lost in the oblivion
of my love
or hidden
in a tightly corked bottle,
hidden in the padded depths
of my soul.

Perhaps,
even if I love you
wholly and completely,
I will not lose myself.

Is it worth the risk,
I ask myself,
lost in the sweetness
of your caress...
giving myself over to your kindness,
I lose myself
to my ecstasy.