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Xbxg32000 — 1:04 AM by-nc-nd
Published: 2007-02-10 05:21:18 +0000 UTC; Views: 1782; Favourites: 16; Downloads: 25
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Description The imprints of my skin,
glaze along the edges of your body;
as my fingers trail across,
the pores of your flesh:
which narrates such beautiful words for me.

I have defeated distance,
as I can absorb every trace of your movements.
Please don't start such a delicate procedure:
your attempt to conceal,
the smile blooming across your face;
passing through the silk of your hair,
and sinking into the pupils within my eyes.

This session is void of verbal responses;
As the distinct melodies drown out the world.
The subtle rustling of your hair;
as your index finger clings onto each strand,
tugging gingerly, as if to pick off,
the dry leaves off a tree,
as Fall begins.

Encircled by unnecessary distractions:
the droplets of water, shattering on impact,
as they crash onto the smooth surface of your sink;
scratching the tranquil air that we occupy.
I however, still remain a subject to your seduction:
as you gradually tug against the cord connecting us,
reeling me into your arms.

Descending into the crevices of your neck;
a staircase decorated with the soft vibrance,
of lush gems adorning your ears.
I've abruptly started your symphony,
of inhales and exhales,
as the silhouette of my lips,
snug into the curvature of your skin.

You've gone past the threshold of my reservoir,
as you rest along the outline of my shoulders.
If I could only solder your existence,
onto the layers of my skin;
all while caressing the tiny goosebumps,
that rise hesitantly across your spine.

Escalating into an unraveling of poetry,
your words have seared off my hearing.
As the beauty piecing my love together,
delves into an act of graceful kisses;
sliding off the laces aligning your body,
as the phone slips into its cradle.
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Comments: 68

Xbxg32000 In reply to ??? [2008-07-01 04:54:27 +0000 UTC]

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it :].

-gl hf
~Xbx

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Singinchic7 In reply to Xbxg32000 [2008-07-04 08:33:18 +0000 UTC]

you're welcome!

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MyNameMattersNot [2007-12-03 10:24:18 +0000 UTC]

Great metaphor. I didn't know quite what was going on until the end.

I love surprises.

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TehKiriai [2007-12-03 02:22:14 +0000 UTC]

Wow. That was probably one of the best poems Ive read here on dA. I love the many meanings/metaphores you have dug into this.
Its very creative. a great poem well written! A+!
-favs-

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xbxg32000 In reply to TehKiriai [2007-12-03 02:45:45 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much, I am glad you enjoyed reading it .

-gl hf
~Xbx

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Kaiyuan42 [2007-12-03 01:51:57 +0000 UTC]

Man, I can't find anything to give good construction critism on.

I like all the metaphors. They make me think of something, bu then you say something that is not the same as what you've been stating. Nice twist.

I had a bit of trouble reading this. It's so in dept, that I read, and then re-read each part to try and understand each part.
How do you do it? ..... Time to read the other poem.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xbxg32000 In reply to Kaiyuan42 [2007-12-03 02:06:00 +0000 UTC]

Haha, thanks for the comment, I appreciate it a lot.

-gl hf
~Xbx

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

CassiNova500 [2007-12-03 01:48:26 +0000 UTC]

Very, very beautiful. I really like the concept and the imagery that you used throughout the whole poem. My favorite parts of the poem are the last three stanza's. Amazing work!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xbxg32000 In reply to CassiNova500 [2007-12-03 02:04:44 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much for the comment, I really appreciate it .

-gl hf
~Xbx

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CassiNova500 In reply to Xbxg32000 [2007-12-03 03:06:17 +0000 UTC]

Welcome!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

inspirational-dreams [2007-12-02 20:49:34 +0000 UTC]

Your deviation has been featured in a news article which you can find here [link] It is also featured in my journal. Congratulations and keep up the amazing work!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xbxg32000 In reply to inspirational-dreams [2007-12-03 02:03:22 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much for featuring me! I am flattered, haha.

-gl hf
~Xbx

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

LaBruyere [2007-11-12 04:20:39 +0000 UTC]

*see

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

LaBruyere [2007-11-12 04:20:24 +0000 UTC]

I think this is well written. I hate poems that go on and on without saying anything.
The only thing I say wrong with it was grammatical:
"You've went" should be "you went" or "you've gone".

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

GalenAnderson [2007-11-12 03:58:56 +0000 UTC]

glad you explained it. It is lovely to read, but more lovely t know the whole story

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xbxg32000 In reply to GalenAnderson [2007-12-03 01:59:32 +0000 UTC]

Thank you! And I'm glad that the description helped .

-gl hf
~Xbx

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

GalenAnderson In reply to Xbxg32000 [2008-01-13 05:10:45 +0000 UTC]

your welcome

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

inspirational-dreams [2007-11-12 03:34:16 +0000 UTC]

this is honestly great. it's very descriptive and has great imagery to it but when it comes to the end it's like a slap to the face when you realize what really was being spoken about. You really have written this well and I didn't come across any typo's or mistakes which really shows you've put a lot of effort into this - that is great.

I really like this piece because it's so different and I can tell you put a lot of time into it. Great job I must fav this.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xbxg32000 In reply to inspirational-dreams [2007-12-03 01:57:11 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much!

-gl hf
~Xbx

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

thecrossing [2007-11-12 00:55:25 +0000 UTC]

I like the word choice and the imagery, but I think the metaphor could be a little more effective if it was more clear at times.

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teethonreed [2007-11-09 06:31:41 +0000 UTC]

I like the poem. The imagery and metaphor is good, but the spoiler comments are a bit too much, I think.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

nineinchnailbunny [2007-11-09 05:50:05 +0000 UTC]

I can't even begin to describe how that made me feel. Centimental and a little sad I think...

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CrypticButterfly [2007-11-09 03:13:47 +0000 UTC]

A very well thought-out poem with beautiful imagery and a gentle mood. Good job.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

sweetheart18 [2007-11-07 00:26:04 +0000 UTC]

Excellent word usage. You use very colorful language to illustrate the poem.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xbxg32000 In reply to sweetheart18 [2007-11-07 00:47:55 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for the comment .

-gl hf
~Xbx

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

laceratedwrists [2007-11-06 05:24:14 +0000 UTC]

i was going like
'deyng! a phone conversation!"
my mind was venturing into it's own imagination when the sudden realization hit me!
hahaha
so beautiful!
i love it!
------------------------------
cookie!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xbxg32000 In reply to laceratedwrists [2007-11-06 23:08:23 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed reading it!

-gl hf
~Xbx

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ZelasMetallium [2007-11-06 05:10:52 +0000 UTC]

I was very confused about the "cord" line until the end. Then I was like "Huh, what?" and had to go back and reread.

I liked it very much, you really kept on subject without showing it was a phone conversation till the very end.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xbxg32000 In reply to ZelasMetallium [2007-11-06 23:07:51 +0000 UTC]

Haha, thanks for the comment, I'm glad you enjoyed it .

-gl hf
~Xbx

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

myshadow535 [2007-08-06 03:25:13 +0000 UTC]

this poem puts any work that i have ever written to shame and i applaud the beauty that you have so expertly woven into a tapestry that revovles within my minds eye. Bravo.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xbxg32000 In reply to myshadow535 [2007-08-06 04:32:48 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much for your kind comment, I really appreciate it! Glad you like it .

-gl hf
~Xbx

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

jdesutter [2007-06-22 04:16:47 +0000 UTC]

this is amazing! are you into music by any chance? because you should be..

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xbxg32000 In reply to jdesutter [2007-06-23 17:25:00 +0000 UTC]

Thank you. Yes, I am very into music, I like Rock, Metalcore, Acoustic, and Pop mostly.

-gl hf
~Xbx

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

kamikaze-des [2007-02-18 04:41:16 +0000 UTC]

Nice one. Touching.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xbxg32000 In reply to kamikaze-des [2007-02-21 20:44:40 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for the comment :].

-gl hf
~Xbx

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

PureBear [2007-02-13 01:04:54 +0000 UTC]

Very interesting piece! What I like in the poetry are those hidden meanings.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xbxg32000 In reply to PureBear [2007-02-15 03:50:44 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for the comment .

-gl hf
~Xbx

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

MahouTragicQueen [2007-02-11 19:27:10 +0000 UTC]

The descriptions are excellent.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xbxg32000 In reply to MahouTragicQueen [2007-02-11 21:48:52 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for the comment, I appreciate it .

-gl hf
~Xbx

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

moonlitwindypath [2007-02-11 19:09:38 +0000 UTC]

Sweet poem. I enjoyed it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xbxg32000 In reply to moonlitwindypath [2007-02-11 20:12:23 +0000 UTC]

Thank you! I'm glad you did .

-gl hf
~Xbx

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

moonlitwindypath In reply to Xbxg32000 [2007-02-11 20:48:51 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Amandadear [2007-02-11 18:48:23 +0000 UTC]

hehe, I love it!!! I love the fact it was a phone convo all along.... I think a similar one should be written for over IM. lol Great work!! (btw if you do write one for over IM I SO want to see it. lol)

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xbxg32000 In reply to Amandadear [2007-02-11 20:20:08 +0000 UTC]

Lol, thanks for the comment! And that sounds like an interesting idea, it would be cool. I am glad you enjoyed reading this poem. Thanks again!

-gl hf
~Xbx

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Amandadear In reply to Xbxg32000 [2007-02-11 20:36:17 +0000 UTC]

Anytime!! Very welcome!

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Lena-Hyena [2007-02-11 18:47:07 +0000 UTC]

I enjoyed it very much, it's put together elegantly and cleverly. Your language is quite elaborate and it takes some time to go through it, but, again, it is a very nice read.

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Xbxg32000 In reply to Lena-Hyena [2007-02-11 20:04:49 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for the comment, I am glad you enjoyed reading the poem :].

-gl hf
~Xbx

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Kijan [2007-02-11 18:43:07 +0000 UTC]

I think praising your work would be a bit unoriginal, I'll just go with the flow and say, WOW!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xbxg32000 In reply to Kijan [2007-02-11 20:00:04 +0000 UTC]

Haha, creative :]. Thanks for the comment, I'm glad you enjoyed reading it :].

-gl hf
~Xbx

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

slimvjim [2007-02-11 15:22:22 +0000 UTC]

Very deep, and very well written; great work

👍: 0 ⏩: 1


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