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yomalyn โ The Consequence of Laughter
Published: 2003-02-01 21:29:47 +0000 UTC; Views: 1098; Favourites: 12; Downloads: 128
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Description
With a guilt-ridden conscienceHe fled from the scene.
He felt immoral and dirty
And all in between.
And he walked and he walked
Without acknowledgement of time,
And he mumbled to himself
Of this heart-wrenching crime.
\"How could you do this?\"
The voices, they echoed
And polluted his head
And as he sauntered he realized,
He was better off dead.
And then he remembered,
Where the spruce met the pine,
Was a bridge overlooking
The 429.
So he stumbled to the bridge
On the east end of town,
And he stood on the railing
Staring blankly down.
With his arms outstretched,
He looked up to the sky,
And felt the wind on his face,
And he started to cry.
And with that, he collapsed
Confounded by tears,
And he sat holding himself
For what could have been years.
He hated himself
For committing this crime,
But he decided to live
With his guilt-ridden mind.
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Comments: 33
love it, the picture is great and the words flow beautifully
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thanks so much
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ur welcome
~Family Guy~
Peter: I feel kinda guilty, giving Chris his first taste of beer...but you turned out okay, right pal?
Chris: I'm gonna go get wasted.
~The Simpsons~
Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl.
Ralph Wiggum: I'm a boy.
Homer: That's the spirit. Never give up.
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thats really good i have no criticism what so ever!!!
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Thanks ^_^
This is one of the poems that really started me writing because I realized how much stress I could release with a pen...Seems like I should go back to the basics again
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ur welcome and writing has alwayz released stress 4 me 2!!!
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A poem of chcocolaty goodness 
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lovely use of rhyming and telling a story. you're obviously talented at that :]
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I don't really have anything new to add, I just want to say that you write beautifully ( I don't know if that is correct grammar or anything, but you get my point)
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when you read it to me, i loved it.
when i read it now, i love it.
if only you could do it again
anyway. your writing is beyond divine. as with all your art. and yourself.
amazing job. as always.
i love you.
always.
-jeremy
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As I said before- I love the way you use words. It might sound weird, but your word-choice really 'blends' perfectly. The way this whole poem tells a story, is just... great. It makes me so curious... You're a very talented poet and drawer... I envy you! *bows down*
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The rhyme was really obvious in this one, but I think it worked. I'm not a big fan of rhymes, but you did well with them. Awesome. Awesome and keen.
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I LIKE. VERY NICE: POEM AND PIC....... YOU HAVE A WAY WITH WORDS.
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Gorgeous...I like it. It's very well written.
~Emm
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Oooh I love the picture... it captures interest right away.. and the poem is really well done good job
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what to say ?
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . that when i saw the image i just felt tears coming up. because what it says, the general message on this way of saying it, the "form" (if thats the adequate term) the form cannot leave anybody impervious to the so-strong and stunning "HELP" this way of expressing oneself litteraly screams to anybody who sees it..
then I read the poem, and I felt such a pain inside, Ive got to say that you know how to express -and make the others feel- true emotions, and I can do nothing else than telling you my admiration for it.
ยค solveiyg ยค
--
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Very nice, I like the rhyme, it all flows together so well...
It seems to be easier to die now adays, then to live. o_O
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Wow... That poem's really moving... That's all I can say... Wow...
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me like, me like... dark, depressing, sad,... mostly lost... but still hopeful O.o
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It made me cry. I love it when literature and poetry makes me cry, because I can't ever cry, and I like crying...yet, at the same time I hate it. Weird.
I loved it, it was so beautiful, I can't even begin to describe it...! I just... loved it. Which should really count for something, it's rare that I like poems that has rhymes in them.. but yours.. I don't think it would be as lovely without the rhyme! My oh my. Did that make any sense?
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Goodness. I love how you did this. And not giving us the details of the crime allows us to feel bad for him. Otherwise, if we knew he murdered or raped a child, we would judge him and lose the importance of the poem. Well done!!!
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The rhyme generally works, the perspective, interesting. The use of words generally effective. Thanks for sharing it for poem hungry deviants to puzzle and ponder.
I'm still trying to figure out who it is you can't forgive, in your preliminary remarks about the poem.
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i love the way u write.
and although i dont knwo the full extent of what happened here, i can somehow relate
nice
chrissy
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beautiful, all , the poem the picture.. *hugs*
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Very Telling! I really feel like the lyricalness of the poem fits perfectly with the character and brings out a tone that flows with the situation. Well done.
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I really liked the poem, you did a great job of it, I didn't like the ending, something was missing, though I can't figure out what it is. But overall it was awesome
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I love this poem! You have done an excellent job capturing the emotions felt in such a situation!
great job
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smooth flow! Really nice It rhymes well
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awesome poem, going along with a rather creepy picture.
I love the poem, its just worded really well, and so true.sad though, but great.
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