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yourparodies — The Hobbit (Purist Version) #2 - All shall fade...

#balin #bilbo #dwalin #fili #hobbit #kili #lotr #parody #peterjackson #shire #thorin #tolkien #bilbobaggins #lordoftherings #thorinoakenshield #oakenshield
Published: 2015-02-13 18:48:47 +0000 UTC; Views: 4161; Favourites: 64; Downloads: 15
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Description ...but the names of some characters shall fade first...

Ah yes, the aftermath of the Battle of The Fiver Armies... 
When I first read the book, I honestly couldn't feel for Thorin, even when he was dying, and to be honest, I never understood why Bilbo should care either, or the other dwarves, for that matter. In the book, Thorin was just rude, arrogant, not very competent and all around not a nice fella to have around.
Their parting in the movie is pretty much just as unpleasant for Bilbo as it was in the book, however,  the movie characters actually built up a real connection, a friendship, even, so when they have their falling out, it means a lot, and it hits hard. When movie Thorin gets the dragon sickness, you can see him becomming something else, something scary and dark, something he wasn't before. There's a real fall from grace there. In the book... not so much. 

The movies actually bothered to show us why these dwarves - and Bilbo - would follow Thorin, so even when he falls, you can still see why they would forgive him, and you can understand why Bilbo is also willing to forgive him and keep his memory as that of a dear friend. It's all built up and carried through in great detail, so it feels believable. In the book, it's basically just "Fuck you burglar! Oh well, I'm dying, I'm suddenly all nice now". 
I guess that might work for very small kids, but for an adult, it's not nearly enough, because adults know, that it's not how it works.

As for those, who complain, that the movie didn't do the deaths of Kili and Fili justice, well, I couldn't disagree more. 
Much like with Thorin, the brothers are fleshed out in much greater detail, then their book counterparts, and even their death scenes are given bigger focus, so the above complaint is rather riddiculous. 
And while the book versions weren't quite as unsimpatetic as their uncle, it's still hard to care for them, because not only are they given very limited character development, but their death is basicaly just mentioned in a single sentence, and even that is only told in the aftermath of the battle, so it feels rather insignificant. More of a footnote, then an actual, important event, really.
I think it's a pretty basic rule in storytelling, that if you want to have a tragic death scene, you've gotta make the readers care for the characters first. Also, leaving more then just a single line for the death scenes to breath would probably help as well.

And even Balin, who is probably the most developed one next to Thorin, falls rather short in the book compared to his movie counterpart. Not only that, but one thing that always bugged me about him in the book was, that he kinda disagreed with Thorin, and yet, still decided to follow him. 
Which the movie version does also, but here's the thing - in the movie, it makes sense, because we have multiple scenes dedicated to the mutual respect and friendship these two characters share, and we can see why this Balin would stand beside Thorin despite having second thoughts about the quest. Because, unlike his book counterpart, movie Thorin is a respectable leader, a great friend, and he has much more to him then simply being the heir to the line of Durin. But book Thorin has none of the qualities that makes movie Balin follow his king, so why exactly is Balin with him? Because he's the king? Not likely, as that didn't stop 99% of the dwarven race to say no to the whole quest thing. 
I know, that Tolkien was probably trying to establish a conflict with this, but from an adult's point of view, it just didn't make much sense.
So I can't tell you how bloody happy I was that the movie fixed this problem as well...
And yet, many people still can't fathom why the movies are so much longer, then the book... Maybe becaus they actually bother to take their time and build up all the characters and subplots...

Another thing is, that in the book, it never really feels like Bilbo is actually a part of this company, nor does it feel like the reader is part of the company. Or KNOWS the company, for the matter... Which really bites the novel in the ass at times like these, when tragedy strikes, and we're supposed to care for a bunch of people we either knew little to nothing about, or what we knew, wasn't really enough to make us feel sorry for any of them.

Makes you wonder, how Bilbo managed to remember their names at all...

The book had some really great foundations and ideas, but sadly it sorely lacked building up it's characters personalities and motivations.


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The Lord of the Rings & The Hobbit (c) Tolkien, New Line Cinema

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Comments: 33

WhisperingPhantasm [2017-12-08 05:39:06 +0000 UTC]

This definitely made me snicker. The Hobbit is my favourite book, but I must admit that I couldn’t tell any of the dwarves apart until the movies came out.

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yourparodies In reply to WhisperingPhantasm [2017-12-08 20:30:58 +0000 UTC]

Glad You liked it. Nice to see open minded book fans.

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WhisperingPhantasm In reply to WhisperingPhantasm [2017-12-08 05:43:36 +0000 UTC]

And I agree with you about the Bilbo/Thorin relationship actually being better in the films. One of the things I like better in the films over the Tolkien books is that characters and their relationships are actually better in the films, which is rare. Except, arguably, Frodo and Sam.

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yourparodies In reply to WhisperingPhantasm [2017-12-08 20:34:12 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, I actually cared for Thorin in the movies, something I did not do in the book.

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MissAnasazi [2016-06-06 01:53:47 +0000 UTC]

Stumbled across this and omg: thank you.
As a kid I really liked the book. As a kid.
But reading it again now that I'm way older it isn't such a good story anymore. Especially when compared to the Silmarilion and the Lord of the Rings.
(I really wished Tolkien had went through with his 'rewriting the Hobbit and making it a more adult version' plans)
As for LotR I like both the books and the movies, each in their own ways while now as a grown up I don't like the book for the Hobbit so much anymore. As you said somewhere before: the way it's written might work perfectly well for little children, for adults however - not so much.
Also it completly destroys everything of the feeling I got when reading LotR and the Silmarilion which I absolutely adore. (I like Tolkiens style of writing even if I know a lot of people who have their problems with it.)

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yourparodies In reply to MissAnasazi [2016-06-06 18:06:29 +0000 UTC]

Glad you liked it

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MagicalSheepOfDoom [2015-03-27 01:47:30 +0000 UTC]

The faces! The faces! How did you find all of the perfect faces!? You are a blessing.

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yourparodies In reply to MagicalSheepOfDoom [2015-03-27 16:20:29 +0000 UTC]

Thank You ^_^

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VenusMy129 [2015-03-23 21:22:16 +0000 UTC]

Oh My God!!! You nearly killed me at Bilbo's lament!

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MelATCK [2015-03-10 21:42:55 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!!!!!! You just said all my points! I actually feel sorry for Peter Jackson for all the shit he's getting. People love to complain about everything, but I don't see anyone else taking on this enormous task of making such amazing movies.
But I guess you can never please everyone, and I am pretty sure all those who complain secretly love the movies

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Iggy-1-55-306 [2015-02-24 22:43:15 +0000 UTC]

The great thing about Tolkien's writings, in my opinion, is that he left a lot to the imagination. Honestly, I think that was the whole point. While his writing was meant to guide you through the story, it was your imagination that was meant to make all of the important connections. That's Why Peter Jackson did so well with the films, because so much was left to be filled in on purpose.

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Mangetsu20 [2015-02-21 07:19:01 +0000 UTC]

LOL You make such good points. One of the my biggest problems with the book (which the animated film seemed to point out in great detail) was the real lack of connection Bilbo had with the Dwarves. They seemed like comical foils to Bilbo or were just people the hobbit traveled with. One of the disadvantages of writing almost strictly from Bilbo's point of view, for which Tolkien chose to do, was the lack of understanding or connection with the other characters. While this could have been solved by having Bilbo interact with the Dwarven companions a bit more and extrapolate their personalities with him, this is moreover pushed to the side in favor of describing the detail of godddamned BLADES OF GRASS (one of my pet peeves with Tolkien's style of writing is that he emphasizes the description of the environment or people more than he does their character development and dialogue.) 

The Movies, for me, had a great sense of pacing and world building all the same. I don't think this could have worked if Jackson tried to shove it all in one film. This wasn't simply just "milking it" as many would claim (admittedly, I was among them when I heard about how many movies were planned). But after watching the 2nd movie, I understood that there was a finite amount of story that needed to be told over a certain period of time. Hell, even if you were to take out some of the more "pointless scenes" (the elongated barrel riding battle sequence and the battle with Smaug) most of the movie spent time on what was important, just like the prior film. The third was no exception. While I still don't doubt when Tolkien got things right, he was damned excellent at it, the Hobbit just wasn't one of his better written pieces. 

Thanks for bringing this up, both in written and visual form, YOUR ^^

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yourparodies In reply to Mangetsu20 [2015-02-21 17:40:58 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome

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Mangetsu20 In reply to yourparodies [2015-02-21 22:42:47 +0000 UTC]

Keep being awesome ^^

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Libra1010 [2015-02-15 15:58:41 +0000 UTC]

 Which is unsurprising, given that the book is basically Professor Tolkien poking fun at Fairy Tales and having a thoroughly enjoyable time of it in the process! 

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RinnaMarch [2015-02-15 15:12:01 +0000 UTC]

First: My stomach hurts from laughing. ^^  Second: I could not agree more. I've read the book, after i had watched the unexpected journey and woah... I had red, swollen eyes after the end, but when i thought about it, i realised that, if i hadn't watched the movie first, i wouldn't have cared about the deaths of Durins sons and at all. :/
But i undetood them and cared for all of them, because you knew the personalities and motivations of the characters... (Sorry for my mumbling. The feels took over ;D)

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salierifemme91 [2015-02-14 09:42:50 +0000 UTC]

YAY! Once more you made my day!

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Scheron [2015-02-14 09:31:42 +0000 UTC]

Nicely done...
But I can´t agree, I just love his books, because depends on our imagination. And for me, in Tolkien´s books are many
things, which are captured between the lines. And this is magical.
But the execution of Fili´s and Kili´s death in the movie is one of the worst thing I´ve ever seen.

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yourparodies In reply to Scheron [2015-02-14 09:36:05 +0000 UTC]

Sounds more like you love your own imagination, than the actual books...

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Scheron In reply to yourparodies [2015-02-14 09:39:45 +0000 UTC]

Depends on the book.

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JASON9000 [2015-02-14 02:46:56 +0000 UTC]

Your skits always bring a smile to my face. Thank you for posting this.

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Rodlox [2015-02-14 01:41:38 +0000 UTC]

>Makes you wonder, how Bilbo managed to remember their names at all...
rhyming mnemonic?

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ShyGaladriel [2015-02-13 21:52:35 +0000 UTC]

Aw, I cried after I had watched the cartoon Hobbit. So I read the book and didn't cry at his death, but when I reread it I had seen the film and cried. So I guess I didn't care the first time too.

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dorlana [2015-02-13 20:15:44 +0000 UTC]

Bullseye, but then you tend to hit that quite often with your fantastic posts!
It does make you wonder, though. Did purists somehow got different version of a Hobbit novel than us? Because I remember it when i read it as a child. And I tried to re-read it in my preparations for the movies... But. I. Couldn't. Get. Through. It.
It was just boring. It feels not like a novel, more like a recap of one, and the movies honored novel-that-should-have-been. After all, it was the first book he (Tolkien) allegedly wrote. He was a green writer. First books are rarely ever amazing, or so I believe.

That is to say, I do have my issues with the movies. While I understand the presence of Legolas, he was given so much exposure! Too much, for my tastes. We just met bunch of new fascinating characters. I'd love to get to know Fili better. Dwalin. Dain, and possibly the start of his friendship with Bard! Tauriel was a very interesting addition as well. However I do hope that extended edition will remedy that, I think that expansion of our new characters should've been a priority, instead of throwing Legolas in so many times. But I think this is my only complaint with the movies.
Maybe I just am not a big fan of Tolkien (tho I grew up on LOTR and at one point I even spent some time writing in elvish, which was fun ). Maybe I'll never get why people just choose to hate something like it was made just to piss them off. After all the movies are very well done, they are standing up on their own without the viewer being required to read the books (which is too often the case with book adaptations these days!).

Anyways, sorry for the long post and have a nice day. Its just so nice to see that I'm not alone in thinking purists full of crap

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Ewa-a-nie-chce-spac In reply to dorlana [2015-02-14 17:56:24 +0000 UTC]

In the case of Legolas: for me it's very good that he appears in The Hobbit (even so much). In LotR movie he was practically the worst character, who was showing some signs of having some personality traits only in few scenes (and all of them he shared with Gimli). When I was watching The Desolation of Smaug, I was very happy that he's finally something more than a cardboard character.

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dorlana In reply to Ewa-a-nie-chce-spac [2015-02-14 18:25:22 +0000 UTC]

That is a valid point. But I'd rather have other characters (new, first appearing in the Hobbit) developed at least as well as Legolas got! Just my humble opinion

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Ewa-a-nie-chce-spac In reply to dorlana [2015-02-14 18:32:44 +0000 UTC]

Well, you're right as well
Anyway, for me the best thing would be, if somebody would make a never-ending TV series about Middle Earth through all its ages (then more characters would be developed), but we can't have everything

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TheNN [2015-02-13 19:37:22 +0000 UTC]

"Well...My life is boring..."

Yikes, book/purist-Balin is right. His life IS boring. No wonder he went off to Moria, as he wanted to actually DO something.

Though in fairness about remembering them: 14 names (15 if you include Gandalf) is a LOT to remember. Telling apart the book versions of them, is even harder. I suppose you could label them all as:

Thorin, Gandalf, Bilbo, along with...not-Thorin, not-Thorin, not-Thorin, not-Thorin, not-Thorin, not-Thorin, not-Thorin, not-Thorin, not-Thorin, not-Thorin, not-Thorin, and not-Thorin.

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Jie-n [2015-02-13 19:29:07 +0000 UTC]

Couldn't agree more - while I really enjoy the Lord of the Rings, books and movies, the Hobbit novel just falls short for me, and I'm glad for the movies.
*sees the purists storming her hill with torches and pitchforks*
Uh oh.

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Sonosublime In reply to Jie-n [2015-02-14 08:07:09 +0000 UTC]

Bring 'em on. Bloody haters have pretty much killed any prospect for future Middle Earth movies. Why do haters have to ruin everything? If you don't like something, just move on and shut up.

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Jie-n In reply to Sonosublime [2015-02-15 22:42:00 +0000 UTC]

True

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Anya-Kylash In reply to Jie-n [2015-08-18 21:22:37 +0000 UTC]

Hi, um, purist here.  I accept some changes, but there are things that go too far.  (10 whole minutes of video game fight sequences escaping the goblin king.  And come on, the dwarves have those ridiculous beards styled 13 different ways so you can try to tell them apart and it only makes the movie more laughable than serious.  Minor things... calm down... minor things...  BARREL SCENE!  Shut up!  Having a Smeagol/Gollum moment here.)

Okay.  Just plot wise.  When they do something horribly silly.  Like the end of the franchise?  'Go find a young ranger' scene?  That young ranger is like 8 years old at this time continuinity.  I like the whole tie it in to LotR, show us what was happening and how this is a prologue, but doing that was a bit too far.  Then the boars and the mountain goats...  The dwarves seem to pull laughability out their butts the whole journey, and their whole defeat Smaug plan was to conveniently build a giant gold statue that effectively did nothing?  Sure, add a little dwarf to dragon confrontation, but that was unbelievable.  Politically evil laketown lord was way too stereotypically evil.  I mean, extended edition, he literally boos poverty while eating boiled goat balls or whatever, for the cringe haha butt-villian humor thing.  Please don't bring up Beorn.  Okay, but really, he's the last of his kind who were driven out, killed, and enslaved, and he's a hobo?  Seriously?  He's a farmer who has cultivated hives with bees as big as your face, trained animals to perfection, and he's literally a stoned guy with YET ANOTHER crazy beard.  He's kind enough and stern and like a big papa Aragorn bear or something.  I mean, I'M EVEN OKAY WITH TAURIEL.  But that's not love.  You knew Kili for like three days, woman.  And you have a totally hot (in Elf standards.  I personally don't go for the light frame and girl hair) Elf prince trying to snog you up for two movies!  He even leaves his father's protection to follow his own path making a relationship actually viable.  That just didn't tie up well.  Besides, he lived with his father until the council was called for the ring, and I'm okay with all the Elves being known and there actually being names.  But I think they dragged out the Cameos much.  Honestly, though, I was more excited for them to get into the story of Bolg and Azog.  But really?  Azog the white orc is the villain forever?  Tunnel worms that don't plow through the armies, and instead just make tunnels?  After they killed the goblin king, Bolg took command of all the orcs and swarmed forth to destroy secretly using pre-tunneled dragon tunnels.  Not giant worms.  How did they even harness giant worms?  And trolls and urukhai came later, with insane mud genetic orc manipulations and the return of Sauron.  Okay, so what I'm saying is POINTLESSNESS, POINTLESS LOVE TRIANGLES, UTTER STEREOTYPICAL VILLAINS WITH NO BACKSTORY, STONING MAIN CHARACTERS, BAD GOBLIN LINEAGES (okay, it was interesting, but more Bolg), BAD BEARDS, GROSS HUMOR, AWFUL PLOT RESOLUTIONS.

I think the purists aren't really saying the movie should be 100% accurate to the book.  I think they, and I, are really saying they'd like the movie to be GOOD.  *drops microphone*

Okay, but seriously, your comics are awesome and I love them.    

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yourparodies In reply to Sonosublime [2015-02-15 21:07:20 +0000 UTC]

Hear, hear! 

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