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GirlWithAHat — Chocolate Monster
Published: 2009-11-05 15:19:24 +0000 UTC; Views: 2337; Favourites: 19; Downloads: 47
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Description Once upon a time there was a little girl named Cecilia. She was very sweet looking and very polite, therefore people were always giving her sweets."Such a sweet girl deserves sweets," they said and patted her on the golden-haired head, smiling at her bright-blue eyes. And as it is the way with people, nobody wasted a thought on what was best for the child, as long as it smiled happily, which it always did.
Cecilia, on the other hand, started to be very vain, because she could not help noticing that she always got more attention and a lot more sweets from the grown-ups than all the other children. "I must be really special," she thought, "like a princess. One day I'll be the queen of them all. But I don't want to wait that long, they should start bowing to me now." But the other children refused to treat her like a princess, or indeed a queen. Instead, they threw mud at her and were told off for it by the adults. After that they laughed at her behind her back and never talked to or played with her again. Our little heroine found their behaviour highly disgraceful and started ignoring them completely. Thus, the adults pitied her for being always alone, and gave her still more sweets.
Years passed, and wherever Cecilia went children hated and adults loved her, although it started to show that she was living on sweets mostly. But nobody seemed to look beyond the golden hair and the sweet blue eyes at the swollen cheeks and increasing girth. Her parents even said it was late baby fat.

It was the night of Halloween in the year Cecilia had turned nine. Dressed up as a chubby little fairy, with a fluffy pink dress and a sparkling crown of fake diamonds, the girl sat on a box full of garbage in a dark side street. She had tipped out her bag into her lap, after her first lonely round of trick-or-treating, and stared at the mountain of candy with greedy eyes, the sweet smile she usually wore for the grown-ups forgotten. Her stubby little fingers sifted through the multicoloured treasures, throwing away bonbons and lollipops; Cecilia only wanted chocolate. With a squeal of joy the girl crammed a small chocolate pumpkin into her mouth, already unwrapping the second one. How delicious they were! Halloween was the holiday she enjoyed most.
Suddenly a group of at least seven boys and girls turned around the corner to her hiding place. They were wearing scary costumes, ragged and with fake-bloodstains, but their evil grins were real. A malicious fire was burning in their eyes, making them shine in the darkness of nightfall.
"Look who's hiding here, where no grown-ups can protect her," said their leader, coming closer. "It's our little fat princess, with all our sweets." The other children laughed and for the first time in her life, Cecilia was afraid. "Did you notice," he asked in a deadly whisper, looming over her, "that you alone got more sweets than all of us together? Do you think that's fair?" And he pushed her heavily against the shoulder.
The girl gave a small shriek as it fell backwards from the box and into a puddle of mud. Her precious chocolate spilled all over her and the crowd gave another round of laughter. Then they surged forwards and formed a circle around her, dancing and laughing in her terror-struck face.
Cecilia looked up at them and felt tears well up in her eyes. Her dress was ruined and some of her chocolate, too. She was embarrassed and not used to be treated so badly. How could they dare do that to her? Anger exploded in her stomach, filling her body with heat and her brain with fog. The voices of the other children faded away, while fury and heat grew stronger and stronger. She closed her eyes and succumbed to the feeling.

"Oy, Marc! Look at her!" shouted one of the boys, abruptly halting the dancing and laughing. In silence the children watched as the chocolate scattered across her body started to melt.
"What's happening?" asked a small girl, shivering. She backed away from Cecilia and the others followed slowly, still fascinated by this phenomenon.
Cecilia's whole body started to transform now; it seemed to flow away and back again, turning a delicate brown. Suddenly she groaned, making the children jump. It was an unearthly sound.
"What's wrong with you?" Marc, the leader, shouted at her.
She opened her eyes, which were of a brilliant, glowing red, and slowly sat up. Her body seemed to be made of melted chocolate only, bubbling and flowing in constant motion. The children backed farther away, the first feeling walls in their backs, others now out at the main street.
"You. Spilled. Chocolate." The voice that came out of formerly-Cecilia's mouth was dark and rumbling. "I. Eat. You."
Then the monster stood and walked – or rather, flowed – towards Marc. He let out a high-pitched scream, turned and ran. The other children, freed from their morbid fascination by the scream, followed suit, all yelling and shouting and stumbling against each other.
The monster, on the other hand, was slow to move and although it tried to grab a girl racing by it, didn't get a single victim that night. It crawled towards the main street and stared after the fleeing children, then withdrew into the dark alleyway and vanished.

Since that night, Cecilia has been missing. Her parents and all other adults in the city searched for her for weeks on end, but not even a trace of her could be found.
The city's children never mentioned what had happened on Halloween. They figured that Cecilia, who had always loved chocolate, had eaten so much of the stuff that her body had already consisted of it to some degree; it must have been easy for her to turn into a chocolate monster that night. But although they had a reasonable theory, they did not dare tell their parents. They all stopped eating chocolate, though, much to the surprise of the grown-ups.


This, dear children, is the reason why – no matter how many sweets the grown-ups give you – you should be careful with how much you eat. Because, if you eat too much chocolate, the chocolate monster will come and eat you.
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Comments: 38

Lou-in-Canada [2010-05-01 03:12:32 +0000 UTC]

I was really surprised reading this! I'm not familiar with any of your other writings, but came to check out your gallery, and stumbled on this one. I tell you, for the first and main part.. I thought the suject was bullying. The way you described that.. I thought.. yay! Finally somebody tackles this again.. It was all sounding very.. real .. until "she closed her eyes and succumbed to the feeling"..

Then it took a different turn, and I was actually a little.. dissapointed.

I appreciate this was for a writing contest, and that it turned out a.. story, a fairytale, fiction. The thing is, itstarted out sounding pretty much non-fiction, to me..

I kinda feel that I'd love to know what Cecilia did to get away from her bullies, what attitude she's having, or going to have. And what memories she'll take along in her later years. Just.. to hear what the REAL story was. With a proper NON-fiction ending?

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GirlWithAHat In reply to Lou-in-Canada [2010-05-02 12:26:20 +0000 UTC]

Well, I can think about it, but I can't promise anything. I don't have much time to write right now and there are some other things left waiting in line.

I can tell you, though, that in the non-fiction world she would probably have grown up to be a cruel bully herself, because I saw that happen with someone at school. Most people were cruel to him and in return he grew up to be a very aggressive young man. I tried to be friendly towards him and that didn't pay off at all. Unless you see pain as a price.

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Lou-in-Canada In reply to GirlWithAHat [2010-05-03 00:35:11 +0000 UTC]

yeah.. sad that, huh?

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smallmollz18 [2010-04-11 18:52:02 +0000 UTC]

I loved that. I may have to read it to all the little kids i know, they eat TONS of chocolate

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GirlWithAHat In reply to smallmollz18 [2010-04-12 03:54:56 +0000 UTC]

Thanks.

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DailyLitDeviations [2010-02-26 22:52:20 +0000 UTC]

Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DLD (Daily Literature Deviations) in a news article that can be found here [link]
Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by ing the News Article.

Keep writing and keep creating.

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GirlWithAHat In reply to DailyLitDeviations [2010-02-27 15:26:57 +0000 UTC]

Again so soon? Thanks!

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TeaPhotography [2010-01-15 12:04:22 +0000 UTC]

Oh my gosh, I am so impressed by you!

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GirlWithAHat In reply to TeaPhotography [2010-01-16 14:01:56 +0000 UTC]

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Loraeamgrinsen [2010-01-12 20:36:16 +0000 UTC]

raly nice...

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GirlWithAHat In reply to Loraeamgrinsen [2010-01-13 09:33:44 +0000 UTC]

Danke für den Favoriten!

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Loraeamgrinsen In reply to GirlWithAHat [2010-01-14 13:18:37 +0000 UTC]

naklar, ich find die story i-wie süß^^

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KneelingGlory [2009-12-27 02:38:42 +0000 UTC]

You've been featured here !

I put all my Christmas chocolate away after reading this, tyvm.

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GirlWithAHat In reply to KneelingGlory [2009-12-27 09:54:19 +0000 UTC]

Thanks.

I hope that wasn't a sarcastic remark.

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KneelingGlory In reply to GirlWithAHat [2009-12-27 15:40:02 +0000 UTC]

lol, it wasn't!

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marthig [2009-11-17 06:24:27 +0000 UTC]

Gripping Congratulations on winning the AATC Contest

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GirlWithAHat In reply to marthig [2009-11-17 08:36:05 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

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marthig In reply to GirlWithAHat [2009-11-17 19:04:18 +0000 UTC]

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GirlWithAHat In reply to marthig [2009-11-17 19:32:56 +0000 UTC]

[link]

It's a pity thumbs don't work here...

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marthig In reply to GirlWithAHat [2009-11-17 20:52:58 +0000 UTC]

So cute ! thank you Lilith

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GirlWithAHat In reply to marthig [2009-11-18 04:54:09 +0000 UTC]

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XsquirrelXhaterX [2009-11-09 16:04:43 +0000 UTC]

a very nice story to tell to kids when they want to eat your chocolate

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GirlWithAHat In reply to XsquirrelXhaterX [2009-11-09 16:25:55 +0000 UTC]

Yes. The hidden meaning is: only adults are allowed to eat chocolate.

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XsquirrelXhaterX In reply to GirlWithAHat [2009-11-10 09:06:50 +0000 UTC]

i very much like your logic there...

oh, no, wait a second, that's not fair!! i'm a kid!!

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GirlWithAHat In reply to XsquirrelXhaterX [2009-11-10 09:25:45 +0000 UTC]

Then you have to wait until you're older to eat chocolate.

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XsquirrelXhaterX In reply to GirlWithAHat [2009-11-10 09:27:34 +0000 UTC]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
well you still can't stop me from eating it! YOU'LL NEVER GET ME ALIVE!!!!!

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GirlWithAHat In reply to XsquirrelXhaterX [2009-11-10 10:15:33 +0000 UTC]

No, I won't. But the chocolate monster might.

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XsquirrelXhaterX In reply to GirlWithAHat [2009-11-10 12:29:11 +0000 UTC]

DAMN YOU!!! you're right DX

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GirlWithAHat In reply to XsquirrelXhaterX [2009-11-10 13:44:44 +0000 UTC]

I think you'll be all right if you don't eat too much.

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teddybearcholla [2009-11-09 01:59:29 +0000 UTC]

I loved it!!! It sure was creepy and a bit sad. Good luck in the contest!!!

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GirlWithAHat In reply to teddybearcholla [2009-11-09 06:59:52 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav, the comment, the good wish...
Good luck to you, too!

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teddybearcholla In reply to GirlWithAHat [2009-11-09 13:30:56 +0000 UTC]

Welcome!!!

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AllAboutTheChocolate [2009-11-06 12:59:47 +0000 UTC]

I applaud you!
VERY WELL DONE!!!

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GirlWithAHat In reply to AllAboutTheChocolate [2009-11-06 14:17:59 +0000 UTC]

Thank you! But then, I don't want to win! I would have to tell people what to draw for me and I don't even know what my characters look like!

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AllAboutTheChocolate In reply to GirlWithAHat [2009-11-06 14:41:36 +0000 UTC]

Your writing gave great visuals-
you bad ya can't find a person to collab with-an illustrator!!!

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GirlWithAHat In reply to AllAboutTheChocolate [2009-11-06 14:49:50 +0000 UTC]

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dresdenbell [2009-11-05 15:26:34 +0000 UTC]

thanks for joining!
good luck

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GirlWithAHat In reply to dresdenbell [2009-11-05 15:28:03 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!

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