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inkscribble — Audition for Sailor Eris
Published: 2010-05-26 03:41:00 +0000 UTC; Views: 5456; Favourites: 79; Downloads: 113
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My audition for the tournament over at #SMOCT - didn't want to harass you with a huge amount of pages, so I thought I'd just put them all in one place!Hope you all like, and cross your fingers for me! It'll be an awesome chance to practice doing comics if I get in!
Also, I realize there are a few toning flaws - hopefully, I'll work that out tomorrow.
EDIT
Changed the audition into a flash flipping book! Also did the story extra option for the sweet prizes. I know I'm a horribe writer, so you'll have to pardon me!
Want to make one of these yourself? Here's a link to the template I used: [link]
It's a little tough to get the hang of if you're a flash moron like me, but definitely not impossible!
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Comments: 145
Ooo, I like the additions at the end... and it makes sense.
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Nice! The Freestyle script at the end is a little hard to read in large quantities (maybe cause I'm half blind).
Looking forward to more of your tournament submissions!
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Thanks! My first trial at comic'ing a fight scene! I've been breaking out the final two volumes of RG Veda (which boasts my favourite fight scenes EVER) for inspiration, which has been really fun and educational, so hopefully I will not to make the disappoint!
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ah, good think i decided to check out the audition once more before i finished the final draft of my storyboard, i will have to change a bit of the script now XP
but why change it into a flash? (i don't like slideshow things...but the flipping book thing is nice XP)
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(And I should amend that by saying that what I said about being bombarded by deviants with comics is NOT a hard and fast rule and WAS NOT DIRECTED AT YOU! Your comic is GORGEOUS, and you've organized it BEAUTIFULLY! I love the downloadable option, it's brilliant!)
(I should also amend 'each of my opponents' by saying 'if I have any after you're finished kicking my ass!'
I also wanted to ask you two things:
1) DarkM's powers aren't quite native to her, right? Like, she wasn't born with them, but sort of learned to harness them?
2) May I add a few TEENSY TINY embellishments to her outfit? You'll BARELY notice them, I swear, and I think you'll really like the effect. I'm thinking a waistband and pleats on her skirt (although she may already have those) and giving her collar a polo shirt thing - with two little white buttons, so that it's not overwhelming. Basically, the embellishments will simply look as though you're looking at her outfit closely and noticing a few details you hadn't before. The cut of the skirt won't change a bit, and neither will the cut of the top.
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By the way, i DO realize its kind of ironic that her transformation phrase, like everyone elses, is "make up" even though she doesn't wear any^^" (if i ever should do a transformation scene i think i will make make-up appear on her face and then she smears it off XP)
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It would be totally cute, though - just as a pun.
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Oh, i never took it personally, about the looking-at-every-page-alone thing, don't worry^^"
1) Something like that, yes.
To be exact: The king(like endymion) and the sailor of that planet had two daughters. The first one inherited the powers of her mother. However since the older one already got that ability the younger daughter(darkmatter)didn't had any native powers. So the king banned her from the castle. Later on she met her mothers guardian(who later on died, thats why i never mentioned her in the reference) and told her, since her father never bothered to asign her a planet, she can be the guardian of whatever she want. So she somehow got the darkmatter power.
2) I guess that waistband and pleats on the skirt are ok. BUT I'm ABSOLUTELY against that shirt thing. First of all, i HATE polo shirts and every kind of buttons on clothes. If you already drew them, erase them! (sorry, i have something like a phobia against buttons on clothes.) But there is another reason too. Her outfit IS actually suppose to look that plain. Not only because i like plain clothes XP but also because of her personality.
(explaination: Since she got thrown out of the kings palace at a very very young age, she grew up in the slums. After she awoke her sailor powers she got a similar outfit to the other sailors, pretty much like sailor mars with short hair, even with makeup and everything. However since she didn't like it because she thinks only rich and therefore greedy evil people look beautiful she ripped off those things and washed the makeup away. So only her skirt, her shirt and the sailorcollar remain. And her shoes... The cloak is actually not part of her native outfit, she added it later on)
heh, i noticed that too. Even though the color scheme is similar between our two senshis, the amount of detail is totally different. Yours got like details all over the place and mine almost none XP
By the way, in close up views i will draw all the details of your characters too, but i obviously won't draw them in fast paced animations^^"
Oh, i've got a question. Not an important one so i wasn't going to ask, but since we already talk
if your guardian girl gets knocked out, does her form she currently is in remain, or does she revert back to the human form or to the wolf form? If possible i would want her to become a human then, but i want to keep it canon of course so whatever you say is ok^^
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Oh gosh, are you SURE you want Dizzy in there? She'd be a bitch to animate, and you can totally leave her out, ESPECIALLY if this isn't an arena fight.
And that might actually a more important question than you think. Dysnomia remains in her wolfhound form when fighting. She's not able to shapeshift once any kind of fight involving Eris has broken out, whether it's inside or outside the arena. I guess it would be linked to Eris's transformation. Otherwise, I could just have her transform into a T-Rex or a dragon and eat everyone or blast them with dragon fire or both, which wouldn't be fair. I decided she was a pookah BEFORE entering the contest and didn't want to change that, because it was so perfect for Eris. You see, she was originally a New York socialite in her human form for DracheaRannak's contest, and I thought, since she was flying solo, it made sense for her to have a powerful guardian.
As for her being knocked out...she doesn't have a preferred human form. Every time she becomes human, she generally looks different. The wolfhound form is her ONLY standard one. Staying a wolfhound would PROBABLY make the most sense, but do whatever you'd like!
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Oh no, i want her shapeshifting ability to exist in the tournament! You even said it yourself that "if you want to you can make her transform into something else"
as for the make up thing
i think its quite obvious that "makeup", as in those things that you put on your face, is indeed the correct meaning. After all, especially in the anime, you can see makeup appearing on them. They are after all the "PRETTY guardian sailors"
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You mean in the character profile? Yes I did say that, but I meant before or after fights. Once fighting starts, she's a wolfhound. In the rules, the admins said that the guardian shouldn't help out too much. I think leaving her the ability to transform into some ginormous predator definitely qualifies as 'too much'.
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easy
in my version dizzy attacks first in a real huge form, while doing that she destroys the balcony they were on, DarkMatter falls down and dizzy jumps after her. Eris is still on the top. While DarkM and dizzy are on the lower level DarkM defeats Dizzy with a real easy trick.(thats the beauty about DarkM.'S power, if you are creative enough you can beat almost everyone, but if you are dumb you will lose in the first second)
As a shonen writer i can easily write the plot to the protagonist advantage, no matter how strong the enemy is^^"
well, i still could change it, so dizzy will only be in a wolf form, but that victory would be way too easy...
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All right, fine. I don't want to be a spoilsport, so do whatever you want. But on one condition: you need to get permission from the admins for Dizzy to shape-shift during fights for the entire tournament in the event that I move on to the next round. If they say yes, let me know and I'll go back and take all the references to her restriction out of my material.
Is that fair?
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Groovy!
I'm going to have to give you a little heads up, though - I got some news this morning that means there's a slight possibility I won't get my entry in on time. I just asked for an extension, which I may not in fact need, but I wanted to say sorry in advance if I don't get it and therefore don't get my entry in on time. If that does happen, I'll be happy to draw you something for you to make up for it. 
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whaaat?
that would be really too bad...please make it before the deadline if possible^^" i wouldn't want a default win in the first round... (not to mention, you are actually one of the threat ery few who pose a real threat to me in this tournament..but don't tell anyone i said this^^")
but if it can't be helped...
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No worries, I got the extension.
Very sweet of you to say! I'm pulling out all the stops for you, let me tell you! But not out of competitiveness, I promise. I just want to make all the time you spent on your half worth it.
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thats good^^
But i want a competition, its more fun that way...(remember, <--shonen fan, i see everything in the world as a contest)
but you shouldn't talk so highly of me, thats emberassing, and i'm not THAT good...
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Oh no, you definitely are extremely talented!
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huh, its the other way around with me, i have a hard time drawing MY characters getting hurt XP
well, the initial reason why i entered smoct was to learn animation once again and to draw other peoples characters in my style. (and after i realized that there are actually few decent artist in there, i liked to see my character drawn by them too XP)
but "learning" is not enough motivation. But "winning" really makes someone try harder. Or maybe just me XP
same with my old school, my work, my company, everywhere i start to think of the people around me as rivals i tend to try harder(and since college(or whatever the english equalivant to "gymnasium" is, don't care either way) i started to become the best in like...everything O.o)
this is why i am kinda sad
that i don't have a real rival in manga
there was another german mangaka who used to draw a shonen manga, but he quit and doesn't like the rivality idea of mine ¬.¬ i still see him as a rival, but mostly just because he is the only one here.
Anyway
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And it's true! You'll see - Eris takes a MUCH harder beating than DarkMatter in my comic.
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Good question!
1) I personally feel a little bombarded looking through a deviant's gallery when they have their comic up page by page, especially if they've been doing the comic for a long time. Also, I can never decide where to comment. Therefore, I wanted a compact way of putting up comics which avoided the necessity of going through link after link and would allow me to collect all the comments in one spot.
2) It looks pretty, and it's much neater than the format I had it in before.
3) The flipping book lends itself very nicely covers, which I really want to include. It means I can do some lovely colour art for each of my opponents and present the hi-res to them as a little gift.
4) Reading the comic this way feels more natural, at least to me.
5) The mods said they wanted suspense, and this is the best way I could think of in comic form to achieve that.
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It is. I tried it on tw computers. It just doesn't work
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Did you try turning the page? This isn't like normal flash comics. You can't just press buttons to get it to move. You have to drag the page with your mouse
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IT WORKS! Thank you! I'm such a dummy
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Don't worry it took me a good 10 minutes to figure out how to work it
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Haha, and for me three days!! XD
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Tsk! I'm very sorry about that! I wish I could help! Unfortunately, as the thing is actually working (someone just commented a couple of hours ago telling me they liked how it looked), it's a problem with your computers, and I'm not sitting in front of them!
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It was only my fault, it work now
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Ah! Yeah, I'll make a note of mentioning how it works in my next one!
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That's probably a good idea 8D
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Used a template!
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mayyyyybe! it seems like a really cool idea! now i need to start my comic XD
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Ooooh! I'm so interested!
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Very cute format! I didn't even know DA could do this kind of thing. The only thing is that the writing is a bit hard to read. it might better if it was a little bigger. Other wise I like it and the extras flesh out the character.
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DA can't. This is a Flash animation.
Yeah, I thought about changing the font or the size, but I really liked both, and I figured, "Well, I can't write, especially fanfiction, to save my life, so if someone isn't able to read it, so much the better for them!"
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I can't seem to get this to work... It's very sad 
Um.. I tried on chrome and firefox, any suggestions?
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As I'm not sitting in front of your computer and it seems to be working fine for me and everyone else? No, I'm so sorry! Try updating your flash player or something?
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Good idea let me try that
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Nope :/ Tried on several computers too. Ah, well.
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Nope. Well yuck. :/
Ah, well. I read the still frames one
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