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meis — Silhouette
Published: 2004-12-26 09:39:48 +0000 UTC; Views: 335; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 14
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Description
Driving home this cold Christmas nightonly 2 things are absolutely clear to me;
The moon directly above me
shining lunar light on the world below,
and the silhouette of the mountain before me
Arriving at my house,
I slowly get out of my car
and with a curious stare that could only be directed towards Heaven
I look up
And amazed at what I see I wonder if you can see the same;
a full moon be it
creating a perfect circle of reflected light onto me
through nothing more than a thin film of fog
I begin to wonder if you are experiencing the same thing
If you are looking to the sky overhead
If you are surrounded by the pale light of the moon
Or maybe you aren't feeling any of it at all
Maybe this light was only meant for me
To see it so I would be inspired to write a poem for you
While I stare at the lonely, moonlit mountain silhouette
Comments: 24
I really like how you portrayed emtion not only by saying what you see, but also saying what you believe OTHERS see... it really brings the reader into the words of the story. The only criticism I have is that the verb tenses do not totally agree. You keep a good "present tense" for the entire piece except for the line "Maybe this light WAS only meant for me." (Because you are still standing in it, and it still influences your writing until the very end, I would suggest making it "IS.") Other than that, you did an awesome job making us feel what you felt, and I could really picture what you were saying inside my head. 
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it is beautiful.
A moment in time captured in text.
thank you for giving it life.
It brings me memories of moons at things past.
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This bloody brilliant! This is one of the best poems I have came across. You are supremely talented and left me with that hole of lonliness in the pit of my stomach. Great job. Definitly a 
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It's beautiful Eric. I feel that same way sometimes. Would you tell me who it's for?
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No one in particular. I dont direct my writings toward anyone.
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another great peice! i was looking at the moon last night as i drove home from work and it was almost exactly like what you wrote. besides the lonelyness, it was a pretty moon. >.< keep up the good work
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great poem,take a look at mine if you got any time.
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omg really? i saw it too and i wondered if anyone else noticed how beautiful it was!!! Well small world i guess
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i've always loved looking at the moon. so peaceful. beautiful.
great poem
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I think this is one of the best poems you've ever written. Really nice job. +fav.
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Hehe, another thing that makes me feel completely lonely. But that's very good too because I guess that means it gets the emotion across very well... And yeah, I'm sad again lol. Very beautiful poem, just like everything else you make it's so easssy to identify with and like Urgh it makes me feel lonely>.< But I love it!
Faved <3.
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