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paintausea β€” Disgusting, Rotting Me

#dirty #disease #filth #flesh #maggots #rotting
Published: 2018-08-01 14:43:30 +0000 UTC; Views: 3713; Favourites: 125; Downloads: 0
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Description I rot in this disgusting me
Unmovable,
A bait for all the dirt and filth,
Caught a disease,
Infected by myself.
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Comments: 28

OrangeBurrito [2018-10-03 09:03:05 +0000 UTC]

Surreal! This is beautifulΒ πŸ‘

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paintausea In reply to OrangeBurrito [2018-10-07 16:47:20 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much!

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chinopisces [2018-08-03 15:18:16 +0000 UTC]

i'm so sorry if you feel that way, Grace... (hugs)

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paintausea In reply to chinopisces [2018-08-04 11:52:39 +0000 UTC]

Such is life...Β 

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Vladimir32 [2018-08-02 13:41:11 +0000 UTC]

Eep! How did I not know this was up? ; I just got the Tumblr notif though! ^w^

And my god is this fucking visceral. I can almost smell it. The meat. The fluids dripping, running along the table. The fishhooks in your flesh... I can almost feel my insides shivering, twisting up around themselves. The sense of just being hung out to rot and fade and sink into your own remains... it's gut-turning, but it's so unbelievably real. I know that what I feel from looking at it is only a small piece of what you feel from living it.

The world needs more work like this. It takes these things to help others understand. I love it so much.

And hey... remember what I mentioned before. I know it must feel ugly inside right now, but it's never a waste of life if you make it through another day. I know many days can be battles for you, but even if all you do that day is emerge victorious from the fight, it's something to be proud of. And that fight is exhausting, I know. That's why it's always okay to take a break. To get your rest, to tend to your wounds and stoke your flames just a bit more. I know it's often hard to see, but you do so many things to be proud of. Every day you fight, and every day you emerge, standing upon the hill with your sword in one hand, your banner in the other, and the sun behind you. And we will be there to fight by your side, as well as we can. /cradles

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paintausea In reply to Vladimir32 [2018-08-04 11:54:45 +0000 UTC]

Hah.. It started to be a more empty drawing, but turned into a rot of things the longer I worked on it..Β 
I'm not sure what makes people like this.. I find it quite disgusting and cheap in a way..Β 
But thank you..Β  I wish I could be as kind as you to myself.. but I can't seem to accept myself without the tint of poison in my own eye

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Vladimir32 In reply to paintausea [2018-08-04 16:32:55 +0000 UTC]

Hm... well, I don't know if I could say why others like it, but I like it for the same reasons I like most of your work. It takes what you feel (and possibly what others feel as well) and articulates it such that others can get a small glimpse into yourself. Possibly *them*selves as well.

And mrrr, I know... but that itself is all part of the fight as well, is it not? I know it won't be "fixed" in a day, but I know you are always fighting to get there. To wipe the poison out of your eyes. I hope, and indeed I believe, that one day you will be able to wash them out and see the precious, brave little you that has always been there. /hugs tight

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paintausea In reply to Vladimir32 [2018-08-16 11:49:32 +0000 UTC]

Always this kindness from Mama Bear.. aaah..Β 
How I wish I could truly feel and see it..

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Vladimir32 In reply to paintausea [2018-08-16 15:01:32 +0000 UTC]

Mrrr... you know I'd hug you forever if I could. u u

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MidnightXCross [2018-08-02 07:49:09 +0000 UTC]

I really adore your illustrations as always. They speak more than any words could. I can see the feelings behind this. This is a beautiful and gorgeous painting, but it is sad too. : )

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paintausea In reply to MidnightXCross [2018-08-02 11:34:37 +0000 UTC]

Ah.. sadness is my home somehow. Thank you for such high compliments!

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Cerecin [2018-08-01 17:55:24 +0000 UTC]

"I don't like myself. I'm not a good person. I poison everyone I interact with." -The Solid Echo


The maggots are so eerie looking. I know what it's like to think like this; and I just wanna say you're a sweet person Kapani! You're fantastic! Keep up the good work!

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paintausea In reply to Cerecin [2018-08-02 11:33:55 +0000 UTC]

(: .. Thank you, always

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charlievigil54 [2018-08-01 17:39:58 +0000 UTC]

Reminds me of how I was feeling lately.

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paintausea In reply to charlievigil54 [2018-08-02 11:33:36 +0000 UTC]

I was thinking .. perhaps it's the heat hmm..

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charlievigil54 In reply to paintausea [2018-08-02 17:37:04 +0000 UTC]

No, mainly me thinking about how I drove a lot of people away by either saying the wrong thing, or doing something unforgivable. Mainly the things I said and did to my ex-girlfriend. I wish I could undo my mistakes, but, I can't. Now I'm saving all my money to go to England, because I've always wanted live there, and to start over, and forget everything.

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paintausea In reply to charlievigil54 [2018-08-16 11:51:13 +0000 UTC]

I wish you the best of luck to have that come true..Β 
Be patient and loving to yourself.. We all stumble and make these mistakes.. I am very familiar with them.. so much to the point that I'd rather not say or do anything anymore..

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xSuyrius [2018-08-01 14:59:12 +0000 UTC]

beautiful work

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paintausea In reply to xSuyrius [2018-08-01 14:59:52 +0000 UTC]

Ah.. I find that so ironic.. but Thank You!

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xSuyrius In reply to paintausea [2018-08-01 15:01:01 +0000 UTC]

it wasn't meant like that.. i'm sorry

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paintausea In reply to xSuyrius [2018-08-01 15:01:50 +0000 UTC]

Haha.. okay (:
There's no need to be sorry!

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xSuyrius In reply to paintausea [2018-08-01 15:06:33 +0000 UTC]

it is, i mean this is beautiful by how u created this kind of theme because that's exactly how i feel the most etc. u know?

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paintausea In reply to xSuyrius [2018-08-01 15:07:39 +0000 UTC]

Ah.. I see, I understand.. Thank you for clarifying. I'm sorry you feel this way as well..

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Fat-Butt [2018-08-01 14:47:26 +0000 UTC]

LIES!! You are beautiful!

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paintausea In reply to Fat-Butt [2018-08-01 14:48:31 +0000 UTC]

Hehe.. That's sweet.. Thank you..
Do you feel yourself to be beautiful too?

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Fat-Butt In reply to paintausea [2018-08-01 14:55:24 +0000 UTC]

I think I'm beautiful.

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paintausea In reply to Fat-Butt [2018-08-01 14:55:53 +0000 UTC]

That's wonderful. I'm happy for you!

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Fat-Butt In reply to paintausea [2018-08-01 15:50:47 +0000 UTC]

Β 

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