Comments: 11
Dr-InSean [2015-07-29 02:38:12 +0000 UTC]
That was very creative how you handled her History section. It gave us enough facts to know what happened to her, but it was also short and sweet. The little snippits of prose fill in the gaps wonderfully and give us some emotion that the regular paragraphs don't.
I also like how you explained how and why Dahlia uses her attacks; it gives us a lot of insight to her personality and has a funny nature to it by showing us how people would use these super powers in day-to-day life. Curious she doesn't have any Dark-Type moves; then again, she's not a battler.
Aside from some grammatical snafus, this is a well-written bio. It manages to be emotional, informative AND concise! Very nice job!
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sabrella In reply to Dr-InSean [2015-07-29 16:32:08 +0000 UTC]
Thanks for your feedback again!
Yeah, I tried to give her a moveset that was more based on her personality than anything else. I wouldn't really use most of her moves in-game, fore example. I did realize later that there was definitely better moves to give her, but this will do for now. I also completely forgot to update her age to 22, but I'll get to that once I update her ID drawing. Which I'll do once I get home from vacation.
Well, grammar mistakes are probably always going to be there, considering I proof-read my stories once and then get bored. and considering that english isn't my first language, so i'm still slowly learning.
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Dr-InSean In reply to sabrella [2015-07-30 23:54:44 +0000 UTC]
Always glad to leave comments on awesome pieces.
I'm sure you could always update her moves whenever you feel like; I'm not sure if anybody's actually keeping track of these things. Even if you can't, the idea of giving her moves that match her personality and lifestyle is still a very cool idea; it really makes her feel like a real person.
Updating the ID drawing? Hoo boy! I've gotta keep my eyes open for that! In the meantime, enjoy your vacation.
Oh wow, it isn't? You speak English so well that I never would have guessed it was your first language! In that case, you did a fantastic job writing this bio!
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Capy-Logger [2015-05-14 13:31:00 +0000 UTC]
wow, she looks very lovely ^^
love her design, hope she'll get along with my villager simon
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sabrella In reply to Capy-Logger [2015-05-14 14:12:49 +0000 UTC]
Why thank you! c:
After seeing him, I'm sure they'll get along <3
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Capy-Logger In reply to sabrella [2015-05-14 17:41:51 +0000 UTC]
awesome,hope to see her around then c:
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M0NSUTAA [2015-05-11 00:38:10 +0000 UTC]
Shes gorgeous! I really adore her <33
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sabrella In reply to M0NSUTAA [2015-05-11 07:33:15 +0000 UTC]
Thank you~! <33
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confusedkangaroo [2015-05-10 18:12:55 +0000 UTC]
She sounds like a wonderful character! Awesome design and taking the sketchbook everywhere is a nice idea (you never know when inspiration will hit you!). Good luck!
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sabrella In reply to confusedkangaroo [2015-05-10 18:23:07 +0000 UTC]
Thank you so much! ^^
Exactly! she got from me tbh. I always take a skechbook with me for that exact reason.
Good luck to you too, let's hope we both can get in~ c:
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