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TheFlyingSparrow — Rehaugen und Wolfszaehne
Published: 2012-05-26 18:56:01 +0000 UTC; Views: 2488; Favourites: 134; Downloads: 0
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Description
For the Feedback Frenzy Contest :I would like to know, what can be done to make this picture even better. I feel that there are some issues, and it's not quite there. But I can't tell, what's the problem. (If there are other issues, please don't hesitate to tell me, too.
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It started out as a sketch of two fighting water deer [Wikipedia] in the marshes. But after doing a quick Speedpaint for the background, I tossed that idea away and painted a more peacefull scene. Maybe I'll do some fighting another time, though.
A week ago I didn't know about water deer and their peculiar tusks. They strike me as rather fierce-looking, and I like that
Hope you like it. Thoughts and critique are very welcome = )
Edit: Here is the promised fighting scene:
And some sketches I did prior to working on this: [link]
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Comments: 58
Eine sehr schöne Arbeit von der Idee über die Komposition bis zur Ausführung!
Es macht richtig Freude, solche Bilder zu betrachten
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Vielen Dank!
Es freut mich sehr, wenn es dir so gut gefällt!
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This is a critique for the #FeedbackFrenzy competition
Critique
You've done an amazing job so far on this picture. There are a heap of techniques I can see you've used and this has turned out to be quite an interesting picture to look at. The deer was a surprise when I saw it had tusks. At first I thought it was a pre-historic deer, then I realised from your comments that it's a deer that actually exits today. The reeds in the foreground make a very effective border, and also to attract attention towards the deer. The leaves that are also in the foreground add quite nicely to the border to keep the viewers attention within the picture. The fog feel to the picture nicely adds to the idea of a marshland or at least a forest with plenty of moisture. The moss and vines on the trees make this picture a little more interesting while not intruding too much on the main focus of the deer.
The placement of the trees are a very important part of this picture. They act as a very effective guide especially from a distance to make the viewer look towards the deer. The reason why they are so effective would be due to the fact they're framing the deer, while also having them on different layers so the eye gets guided from the foreground to the middleground.
The fact the deer is a completely different colour from the environment is a good choice for this picture. If it was too similar to the surroundings then the picture wouldn't be nearly as effective as it'd simply blend into the background. The fog around it's leg was a good choice, it gives the impression that although it is a different colour, it could easily blend in if it wanted to which makes it believable to the viewer that it could belong in this environment.
I like how you've got different levels of saturation in the picture. It makes it clear which parts belong within what layer. The low saturation and simple background makes for a more interesting and realistic picture while not taking anything away from the rest of the picture.
The gaze of the deer leads us the spiderweb, which is also being framed nicely by the reeds. The birds gaze also leads us back to the deer. Having the extra wildlife within the frame make a much more interesting picture and by having them never looking directly outside the picture, the viewer is kept as an audience for longer.
I know in your comments you said you needed advice on how to improve it as it's not quite there, but I can't find what it is that's not quite working. It's possible that there's a little too much white and increasing the colour values might make it better. Or that by placing a colour on top of the whole thing within a separate layer might help to unify it more and make it work. Right now the only thing I can suggest is adding a new layer and see what putting more colours over the top with different settings can do for it.
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Wow, thanks a lot for your kind words!
I'll try to apply what you suggested, and see what it does to the image. Thanks again!
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Hi there, I'm here from
When I first saw the downturned tusks of the deer I thought you created some kind of "vampire deer", and that thought was aided by the somewhat dark atmosphere of your painting. I changed my opinion after reading the wikipedia article though (I admit it was a kind of scary thought...).
I didn't know that this specific species of deers exist, and I find it fascinating how you portray this deer. Deers are usually pictured as very innocent, shy animals complete with peaceful surroundings. Your concept is different from that; the mist, black bird - I guess it's a raven - and the spider all create a solemn atmosphere which fits the deer's peculiar tusks and implicates that this deer might not really be as peaceful as it seems.
The subdued hues of colours you used also support this. You could add a very slight hue of blue to the background (where it fades out of sight), but it's not really necessary I think.
I can't say much about the deer's anatomy, because I know next to nothing about animal anatomy, but it looks good to me. Maybe the ears are a bit too big, but that could be my imagination.
I think you could maybe refine the black bird on thet tree branch a bit more, because compared to the other animals in your painting it looks rather unrefined. I also think you misplaced its eye, which should be closer to its beak. Maybe put a highlight into it, too, because one can hardly make it out.
I like how you managed to make the trees further in the back blend into the background, and have sharper details in the foreground. However, you might consider sharpening some details on the left tree, where it's closer to the viewer. For example, if you refine the bird, you could also refine the branch it's sitting on and the grass(?)/green stuff hanging from it. And, if you intend the deer to be the main focal point of your painting and not for it to rather blend in, I suggest you add some more small details to it, too.
There's one thing I can't quite pin-point that bothers me about how you painted the grass. I don't think you used a predefined grass brush, but did you use the same brush for every strand of grass? It looks somewhat dreary to me, and you could propably remedy that by using different brush sizes/settings or more than one brush for the grass. Another point is that on the left side of your painting, the grass is more defined in the background than in the foreground, though it should be the other way around, like you did on the right side of the picture. The further something is away from you, the more unfocused/blurry it becomes.
All in all, this is a wonderful painting, and I think you totally did this animal's unusal features justice with putting it into a fitting scenery. And I think the title is very fitting too (I'm German, so I know what it means, kind of got me thinking of "ein Wolf im Schaafspelz")! Very well done, keep it up!
PS: Please keep in mind that everything said above is only my own opinion, so you're free to disagree with me/correct me of course!
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Vielen lieben Dank für dein ausführliches Feedback!
Beim Vogel muss ich ehrlich zugeben, dass ich mich dem nicht so lange beschäftigen wollte, weil ja das Thema eigentlich das Reh war. Deshalb hat dort wohl die Qualität gelitten. Ich werd auf jeden Fall aufpassen, dass ich mich auch um "unwichtige" Elemente in meinen Bildern kümmer.
Mit Gras muss ich mich auch noch arrangieren, als ich deinen Kommentar gelesen hab, ist mir aufgefallen, wie sich das schwarze Gras im Vordergrund so extrem vom Rest abhebt. Und ja, das war alles ein Pinsel in verschiedenen Größen.
Nur in einem Punkt muss ich dir widersprechen: Nur, weil etwas weiter von der Kamera weg ist, muss es nicht gleichzeitig auch verschwommener sein. Kommt ja immer drauf an, worauf der Focus liegt (in dem Bild optimalerweise auf dem Reh), und welche Linse verwendet wird. Und wahrscheinlich noch ein paar andere Faktoren, mit denen ich mich zu wenig auskenne xD Aber mit dem hast du mich auf etwas anderes gebracht, was ich nie versucht habe: Das Gras im Vordergrund weichzuzeichnen, weil es so nah an der Kamera ist, und nicht mehr unbedingt in den scharfen Bereich fällt.
Ich werd mir dein Feedback auf jeden Fall zu Herzen nehmen, und hoffentlich, sobald ich Zeit finde, das Bild nacharbeiten.
Und ich freu mich auch riesig, dass dir das Bild vom Effekt her gefällt! Vielen Dank nochmal!
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Sehr gern geschehen! Dein Bild hat sofort meine Aufmerksamkeit auf sich gezogen, da ich davor noch nie ein Reh mit solchen Zähnen gesehn hatte^^
Da hast du denk ich schon Recht, aber ich denke auch, dass der Fokus der gleiche bleibt, d.h. die anderen Teile, die nicht im Fokus liegen, sind eher nicht unregelmäßig scharf, wenn das Sinn macht^^ Wie wenn man mit der Kamera auf eine Blume fokussiert, wird der ganze Hintergrund unscharf, nicht nur links der Vordergrund und rechts der Hintergrund. Glaub ich zumindest, ich kenn mich jetzt mit Fotos auch nicht so mega gut aus^^
Ah stimmt, daran habe ich gar nicht gedacht! Das Gras im Vordergrund weich zu zeichnen, ist sicher auch eine gute Idee
Gern geschehn, freut mich, wenn ich helfen konnte!
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Oh, dann hab ich dich da falsch verstanden, ich dachte, du meintest das generell mit der Unschärfe. Soweit ich das einschätzen kann, ist alles, was in der selben Entfernung zur Kamera liegt gleich (un)scharf, da hast du also schon Recht. Ich werd auf jeden Fall mehr darauf achten.
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Ja, so meinte ich dass^^ Ich glaube, wir haben wohl ein bisschen aneinander vorbei geredet^^
Viel Erfolg mit zukünftigen Bildern!
Was bedeutet eigentlich das Kanji in deinem Icon?
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Dankeschön!
Zumindest im Chinesischen bedeutet es "sehr klein" oder "winzig". Ich mag's von der Form her und es passt auch ein bisschen zu mir.
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Gerne
Ja, es sieht schon schön aus^^ Ich hab grad nachgeschaut, was es im Japanischen heißt: Detail oder Kleinigkeit. Lernst du Chinesisch?
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Ja, ich hab gut ein Jahr gelernt, momentan hab ich aber eine Pause eingelegt, damit ich für andere Dinge mehr Zeit hab. Aber irgendwann werd ich das auch wieder aufnehmen.
Wie sieht's bei dir aus? Japanisch?
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Ui cool
Japanologie ist mein Hauptfach an der Uni^^
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beautiful, I like it, that spider there is great
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Great image!...very magical, and there's something dark in the dark
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Thank you so much!
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You're welcome!
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wow wow wow
Das ist echt klasse!!!!!
Bin beeindruckt!
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this is brilliant !!
I like the layout of the scenery n foliage
excellent job on the misty forest feel
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sehr schön! Die Tierchen erinnern mich irgendwie an Wolpertinger, wegen der Fangzähne
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Ja, das hat mir meine Schwester auch gesagt, als ich ihr Fotos von Wasserrehen gezeigt hab
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Hihihi, ist ja auch naheliegend.... immerhin können die bellen wie Hunde und fressen manchmal sogar Mäuse!
Hätte übrigens beim vorherigen Posting fast "Wolpertiger" geschrieben, was mich wiederum meinerseits auf die Idee für ne Zeichnung brachte- werds jetzt mal uploaden
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Haha, da bin ich jetzt neugierig, wie das dann aussieht! xD
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I really like the concept and i'm glad you left the fighting scene out of this!
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Thank you very much!
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It is the interesting result of research. Nice fanged cervine.
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you have a fabulous style <33
I don't know why I've never see you before!
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Thank you very much for the favs and watch!
I'm only actively painting since April, so that's probably why you haven't seen much of me.
And I still have to do a great deal of improving.
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You're very welcome <:
Ohh okay :°
You draw very well in any case!
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WOW I love all the detail put into this ! .... Dam what is the dear thing in the background ... It haz teeth
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Thank you! It's a water deer
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Cool , thanks for the link ,and great job by the way
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Beautiful, I like how it looks like the deer is a little lost in the woods and fog.
The amount of detail in this is amazing, granted it's not as detailed in the far background, but that would make the painting too crowded in my opinion. The peaceful mood is perfectly captured the way it is now. c:
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I have a bad feeling that it is already a bit crowded.
Thank you, glad you like it!
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