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BlackSylph — Sydney's 6th Day on Adderall
Published: 2009-05-02 08:13:30 +0000 UTC; Views: 4838; Favourites: 72; Downloads: 100
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Oh my god, it FIGURES! The moment I open this page to post my portrait of drug-induced paranoia, the Marilyn Manson song, 'Coma White' comes on my iTunes library! It figures!!If you don't understand WHY it figures, and don't feel like Googling it like a normal person, here's a sample of the lyrics;
'A pill to make you numb
A pill to make you dumb
A pill to make you anybody else
But all the drugs in this world
Won't save her from herself'
Way to go, Captain Creepy. Your uber depressing music was just the thing to remind me that these pills ARE, in fact, making me less happy, less creative, and too loopy to stay in character. But they ARE helping me focus; the problem is, the thing I keep focusing on is how scared I am to leave the house because there are swine germs EVERYWHERE, but if I stay inside, I'm trapped with the increasingly loud sounds of my swine of a brother snorting on his allergies and sounding like a pig when he laughs at the dumb shit he watches on our really, really noisy television.
I hate pigs!!! No wonder the Jews forbid them!!
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Comments: 33
It's either crazy mood swings and creative juices flowing, or mood stability and increased focus while the colors bleed out of life. To medicate, or not to medicate, that is the question...
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This is why I couldn't stay on the stuff. >_>
:I Instead, my doctor put me on Wellbutrin. I love it.
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dude. i took adderall for four days before i was tolerant of it. increasing the dosage is problem because i get chest pain easily. my body is so stupid.
but im in a military college. so it HAS to work. if i don't graduate my school i will lose my career. D:
i take 'holidays' on the weekend to help the meds work monday morning. 25mg only works for two hours, then i have to wait till noon to take more or its tachycardia for me.
the crashes are horrible. i feel like a failure. i am late and forget everything. i fuck up everything. i have no motivation and fucking hate everyone around me because no one cares enough to find out why im not okay, nor do they realize how bad 'not okay' really is. im struggling to get through life in general. adding on trying to learn med school in 12 weeks equals panic attacks during the week. nothing is in my control; if i lose my career i will have wasted four years and will have to start over, effecting the next twenty years or more of my life.
my psych has already moved onto concerta at 54mg thats supposed to be for all day. which also worked for two hours, leaving the rest of the day in frustration that i don't get what they are trying teach me.
but then the concerta works again 12 hrs later right before i go to bed. (its supposed to but..)its just like FUUUUK. i could study.. but ive been studying, n i gotta get up in five hours.
cognitive behavioral groups n seeing a therapist kinda helps but can only be scheduled during class, somewhat counterproductive..
n straterra? oh yeah. still taking that. was great- was awesome until the moment the adderall stopped working; haven't felt the straterra work since.
my psych's answer to everything: i'll give you a higher dosage.
me: why would i have a tolerance????
him: i haven't the faintest clue. i'll give you a higher dosage.
thats the week i went to the er cuz my heart was in a vice.
dude. i ramble. lol. im sorry.
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I've never taken Adderall but I've been weening myself off of a diet of 80mg of Stratera a night; same effects though. My parents and therapists told me that I was fibbing when I said the pills affected my creativity and personality. And when you forget to take a pill one night, you know you're hooked when you can't shut up without it.
Haven't therapist's realized that the whole world takes dozens of pills already? It's called behavior therapy. BI
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Oh, man, I'm really sorry you have to go through this... I was put on adderall when I was in elementary school. My parents didn't like it and pulled me out, but... I guess sometimes I still get really scared about it. My point is that the stuff is vile and a cruel medication. One of the side effects is a nasty taste for pete's sake, and they prescribed it to a five-year-old?!
Hey, are you still taking it? Um, cause there are some people who believe that ADD doesn't exist because there's no physical test that proves it?... I dunno, I did a research paper on it a while back and thought you might want to know so you can look it up or something... Sorry if I'm going over the line.
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Hey, thanks man. The good news is, I'm not on it and haven't been for a long time now. And I'm feeling great.
Here's my two cents on ADD; I DO think it exists, and incase I ever need reassurance, all I have to do is look at every guy on my dad's side of the family. But the fact is, at the time I was diagnosed, I had been out of high school a whole year and was still living at home without a job and no intention of going to college. Unfortunately, when a smart or talented person shows no signs of ambition like that, everyone assumes that they're suffering from some kind of crippling psychological illness, and the fact that a friend of mine had just died didn't make a convincing case for me NOT to have depression.
So I was sent to two different shrinks, and one of them basically had decided I had ADHD before I even walked in the door (her silhouette is portrayed in 'Explaining ADHD'). She was responsible for getting me on the adderall, and when that didn't work, she was so desperate to keep me medicated that she even suggested a drug that they give to narcoleptics as an alternative. I suppose it didn't matter what she prescribed anyway, because she was making $300 a session off of me just by talking me into a such a stupor that I'd agree to anything.
Anyway, a few months later, I finally agreed to go to school so I wouldn't have to suffer this shabby treatment anymore, and here's what happened; I had no trouble concentrating AT ALL. I absorbed everything, and I got really good grades. I was as bored as hell, and I couldn't make any friends, and being surrounded by all those people who actually needed the good grades while I was just getting them because I had nothing better to do with my time made the whole experience feel terribly empty and pointless. But focusing was the LEAST of my problems there.
Here's what I think; I think that ADD has become the scapegoat excuse for general disinterest. By claiming a kid has a problem that can be fixed by drugs, an adult can fool themselves into thinking that it's not their fault that they can't capture the interest of an individual. My parents couldn't make me like school or make the job market work in my favor (especially during a particularly bad recession), so they let themselves believe that medicating me would fix everything. I suppose they figured it should work for me since it worked for my younger brother, but the problem with that is that he actually has been struggling with legitimate depression and anxiety since he was a child, whereas I am actually the only person in our house who doesn't have any problems like that. I'm just an introvert. And that, unfortunately, is something they haven't made a pill for yet.
Whoo; that was long. Well, since I started drawing comics about my experience with the drug, a lot of people have been giving their opinions about it, and they've been generally negative. I figure it was my turn to give some insight into the issue. Honestly, I think that people should skip the Google-search statistics and actually talk to people like us about the drug first, don't you?
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Yea, I totally agree. I hear such contrasting stories on both sides of the issue, but most places where you look it up just have one over-bearing opinion or another.
Anyway, I'm glad you don't have to take that stuff anymore and that you're okay. 
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It gets worse over time. I need mine seven days a week and I'm now totally dependant on the drug. I've been taking it for 3 years and going off them makes me crash so badly it's scary. I seriously suggest a different drug. Once you get hooked it's really hard to get off. It's scary, you get wicked depressed and angry, and you don't know why other than the fact that you're addicted.
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HAH I'm not the only person they subscribed this crap to?! Holy cow the world's going to hell... Nice to know I'm not he only one with these problems though ^^ Might be why I'm addicted to caffeine though...
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So, uh, I know you posted this a while ago, but have you tried a less intense stimulant like caffeine?
When I was diagnosed with ADD, the meds made me so miserable. I was doing better in school, sure, but I was happier with a B- average and good health than I was with straight As at the cost of panic and jitters, and the withdrawal was miserable when I stopped. I later started drinking tea, and found out that a pot of green tea every day gave enough stimulant to keep alert, but not so much that it interfered with my life and health. Maybe something similar could work for you?
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Have ADHD. Dx
Took medication for it for at least four years.
Pills made me sick. ((Literally. Throwing up constantly, dizziness, weight loss, [At the weight I'm at I'd rather gain weight then lose it. Less I become anorexic. o.e])So I cheeked the pills and would spit them out afterward. Eventually once my mom caught on she tired to monitor me so I couldn't spit them out. Once that didn't work she eventually took me off the pills completely. And since getting off my medication my ADHD symptoms are nearly gone.
Pills=Horrible. Dx
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How stupid! You should stop the pills. It is no good if they are only going to make you focus on how bad things are. That will just paralyze you. It is better to be a little spacey some times than to be paralyzed by how bad the world is.
(by the way, you may want to hear it, you may not want to. However I have heard that going Gluten and Wheat free can make ADD go away without pills. I have heard a lot of success stories lately.)
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This is SO true! XD And I just noticed that when I take my adderal, but don't have anything to focus on, I start getting freaked out over the SMALLEST things... can't think of any right now, but anyway!
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Wow, someone who takes Swine Flu seriously.
That's a first for me. Maybe second.
And try paying closer attention to music. Eerily apt songs come on more than you'd think.
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It's alright, I just stopped taking my pills, and fed them to my dog. ... All I do around my parents is smile and not talk. Im so sorry.
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I'm guessing they are giving you amfetamine right. The headedges go away after a view WEEKS and I stopped taking them becouse I became way to calculated and presurved on that stuff. (I began to think that everything was dangerouse) Don't worry about the addiction, aslong you do not everdose its pretty much only in your head.
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"Oh, hi there Agony! No, in fact, I havn't missed you, but as usual, you shouldn't let that bother you. Just stay for coffe, BE MY GUEST 
Yeah, well, that's what the pic is telling me.
Hey, keep struggling over there!
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Maybe you should talk with your doctor about getting a different med with less side effects or going on a lower dose. It might help. Med dosages tend to take a while to get right since some people are more sensative than others and vice versa.
And don't worry so much about the swine flu. Most of the people that got it in this country have had about the same problems as people who get the seasonal flu. Nothing much more than feeling like crap and having to stay home a few days.
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I know its sad but i just looked adderall up on a medical journal and what the fuck? thats ridiculous! giving a drug like that to kids just because of a hyperactive disorder! i mean i've looked at some of the side effects and seriously i'd rather be constantly hyper than unable to sleep with a raised heartbeat and muscle twitches aided by hallucinations. seriously if your hyper just be hyper this medicine sounds silly. i'm sure your fine the way you are without the medicine.
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I took some last weekend.
God, we need to catch up.
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Yeesh..i feel ur freakin pain dude. cant stop what im takin cold turkey though, pretty f**ked up consequences. anywho, hope things go better for ya ^^
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This kind of same thing happened to my brother when he was 6; according to a doctor, he was "ADD", and the pills that he took made him extremely unpleasant (cried at the drop of a hat, looked tired all the time, was always depressed); after two days my mom stopped giving him the medication and gave the doctor a piece of her mind. Weirdly enough, when I look back on it, it reminds me of the 'TIMMAY!' episode of South Park.
I sometimes wonder why doctors are so gosh darn eager to prescribe pills that will totally alter your personality just because there may be something slightly out of wack in your chemical/ hormonal balance system. I think EVERYONE is a little bit unbalanced, and if that's the case, we ALL should be gulping down pills like freaking M&M's. While it's good that you're focusing more, I'm sorry that the price for it is that you're extremely upset... TT_TT I really wish I could help... I just hate feeling so powerless...
Guess it's like my mom said, "If I were a teenager now, I'd be so doped up on medication due to all the things 'wrong' with me."
((Sorry for the Wall o' Text))
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Stop taking the Pills.
then we'll have some fun.
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omg...you feel my pain! though thank the lawd. i only take mine on weekdays. just wait till the insomnia and increased heart rate show up. then you'll have fun.
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oh how i wish i could sleep but no...i have to be on drugs that keep me up for hours after they should be worn off. oh and that creative block you spoke of is why i can only draw on the weekends.
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