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deathjanissary — Isolation
Published: 2003-10-15 23:40:43 +0000 UTC; Views: 1474; Favourites: 29; Downloads: 389
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Description
Locked up in my own insanity,the solution is forbidden to wield.
Dreary visionaries cast out hollow whispers,
binding me to this benevolence.
Irrelevant to the behaviors of normality,
Cast me down into thorns of vulgar words.
Wretchedness kept my silent tears,
Scorned by the taste of bitterness.
Trapped within this fantasy,
which to be called "my world."
Cut off from transient bliss,
Excommunicated into blinded silence.
Repulsive beings glitter,
speaking to muted voices.
Men cry in breathless vaults,
Darkened tumult rises from their rested graves.
Shivering with cold ailments,
Devouring into my core.
Shed these forlorn tears,
Unconsciousness deprives me into slumber.
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Comments: 55
you write as if you feel this pain of isolation and loss... your words, leave me breathless as i do feel this loss of direction and isolation. the emotion that this conveys is so intense but yet so heartfelt. thank you
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Beautiful. I love the atmosphere of this poem. It speaks to me on so many levels. I was wondering, how long did it take you to write this poem? I find that the more intensely emotional poems come quickly in a powerful rush. I just wondered if other people experience such things. Please reply.
Great work! Keep it up.
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It took me 30 mins. Roughly, I'm glad that you liked it. Poetry was never my thing though.
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your works are always beautiful, as are you...I shall cherish being your friend now and forever
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Beautifully lyrical, I could almost place it to music and sing it in my head. I love poems that work like that.
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For a topic thats been covered over and over you went about it in a new refreshing way. Nice
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I think everyone at one point can relate to this. Though, I must agree some of the bigger words seem a little inapplicable to the feeling of the poem. I also have this tendancy in a lot of my work, getting lost in words--I tend to think more complexly than I articulate.
Awesome stuff, keep on.
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brilliant! love how your words overflow with emotion ;] - Gally
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WOW
you have outdone yourself, its amazing
it blew my mind away
u know that feeling where u just have to get through the poem and maybe ull start liking it? or the other feeling of awe, where everything else besides the poem disappears,
the second is what i felt with this poem of yours,
i would favorite it, but me and my computor are having another argument so the favorite will have to wait until i go to my dads again, hopefully this weekend.
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This blows donkey balls the size of Texas. Start from scratch.
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Well...what the person before me said was right. We all feel this, and we all need to read stuff like that.
Cast me down into thorns of vulgar words.
Wretchedness kept my silent tears,
Scorned by the taste of bitterness.
Very powerful. You make the reader actually feel it, and let them see blood and tears, hate and hurt, and it flows just right.
Gotta love it.
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The reason of why it is angst is because you 'poured your everthing' into it.
Its still raw, unrefined, unedited emotion.
EVERYONE feels these emotions.
Learn to harness them and express them in different ways, and you could go somewhere.
Your language suggets that you would be a decent writer with practice.
But then again, hey, we all need practice.
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Definitely lyrical, this is wonderfully done!
I love your choice of language and the heartbreaking emotion expressed through this is delicate and raw. Nice job!
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there are no words to describe this...seriously man I'm absoloutely speechless! this is incredible!
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I love the message, I really do. But I think its worded just a bit technicly.
oh, and I told you that you'd make a daly fav for longer than me
Gratz man!!!!
-Wy?
london or BUST!
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emotional! i love it! bravo! 
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---Thoughts from the Druid---
Here I lay upon this deaths bed, surrounded by loved ones. Dressed in their sunday's best, crying their goodbyes to my deaf ears.
Well done Death!
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"Locked up in my own insanity"
This hits a nerve - good way
Love the seeming recursion. You're trapped within this world, but then your mind is trapped within your body.
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good work, the feeling of being trapped under
your ownn skin is one that I only know too well !
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The idea that evolved in this piece really spoke through the soul. You vented a lot of emotions and feelings that were both astounding and hurtful, it must have torn you up to write it - though, that's what poetry does. To release the demons, you have to hurt yourself a lot worse in order for happiness. Excellent job, man.
And excommunicate is not a hard word to know, and if you think it is, you really need to take a look into a dictionary. The assumption that he used Thesaurus for this piece is so ridiculous, I can't even fathom the nerve to even ask a question; who fucking cares whether anyone uses Thesaurus or not? If that's what they need to use to get the flow and their entire emotion outside and onto the paper of the poetry, then so be it - I wish the best for them. There's no need to take a perfectly good chance for a comment and waste it by beating and tormenting their vocabulary. Try to stick with the poetry at-hand, and not the process of how the piece was written - how the words were thought of. Ever think the poet just has a good vocabulary, and thought of the words that would fit the best? . . it's not so far-fetched when you think about it.
Excellent writing, man.
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ugh ugh ugh mudvayne-motivated poems...*sigh* what is this world coming to?
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i like the intent, i dont know about the execution tho'?
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this is outstanding!! i wont add much new as everyone has already said what im thinking.... but i totally agree with ~tearsofwar!!!
This is an awesome expression if those dark feelings (like all your work), i really enjoy the fact that you are able to get your emotions and feeling felt by us but stll manage not to sound sorry for yourself... nice stuff brother!!
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I don't understand why you keep talking down on your own work, are you seeking for compliments, or do you really just not see the beauty in your work? I don't know what happened to you in the last 2 weeks, and who it was that all of a sudden makes you feel like you're not good enough, but your work touches a lot of people on this site! YOU ARE A GREAT WRITER AND POET! Everything that happens to you can be felt thru your writing... there's not a lot of people that can do that. And just for the record, i believe that you did NOT have to use a thesaurus.
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effing hell. This aint shitty bro. THIS AINT SHITTY. +fav
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wow, powerful stuff there...very awsome indeed and Far from shitty welldone!
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I can tell you put everything into this...For I do the same...
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holy shit you think this is shitty
how in the world could you have ever ever liked my poetry if you think this is shitty
mine isn't even on the same level as this and this is shit
and that ladies and gentelmn is the reason the-firey-kage
will soon cease to exist
i'm not even good enough for crap
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it seems you had a big help from Mr Thesaurus on this poem. the big words u use don't fit in with the atmosphere. I suggest you pay attention to the way you want your poem to "sound" when considering alternative wording.
Hope this helps
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give me a break - "excommunicate" isn't that tough of a word to know
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i know what it means, so don't go on telling me i used the theasaurus.
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this is not shitty at all AND DONT YOU DARE SAY THAT IT IS!! gosh i only wish and pray that one day i would have your talent... you express yourself so well dont put your deviations down...
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I don't think your poem is shitty at all. Your descriptions are wonderful and I really get a lot of emotion from the stuff you write. It's amazing..
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