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Sphenacodon — Stegopenna

Published: 2008-04-03 10:59:29 +0000 UTC; Views: 2425; Favourites: 26; Downloads: 10
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Description An elaborate April Fool's joke for the Spec team and my blog, in the form of a poorly written press release.

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SPEC, 2008 - The recent discovery of Spec's only known stegosaur species has thrown the paleontological world into turmoil, according to a recent press release.

Long-time research by Dr. Avril Poisson and colleagues on the alternate world of Spec have resulted in many discoveries. However, none are as important as the finding of an unassuming little animal, one that nonetheless has massive repercussions on the way we see prehistoric life.

"I mean, this has massive repercussions on the way we see prehistoric life", said Dr. Poisson. "It completely overhauls our knowledge of dinosaurs and their evolution".

The animal, a small and colorful creature, was named Stegopenna avictis. The quick sketch adjacent clearly shows its distinctive features: a narrow jaw filled with sharp teeth, a skinny body, a long, quilled tail, and big, rainbow-hued feathers down its back. Further down, another sketch shows Stegopenna's head - a quite bird-like head, which housed a surprisingly large brain.

"Stegopenna is a very fast, almost hyperactive little animal, like a sort of dinosaurian weasel", said Gerhard Schlumpf, one of Poisson's grad students. "It eats lizards, birds, and small animals, and lives in trees. It even sings to its mate".

However, those observations are of no consequence compared to Stegopenna's relationships. Diagnosed as a stegosaur, it is a far cry from the stereotype of big, lumbering herbivores with brains the size of peanuts.

"Stegopenna represents the last extant stegosaur species on Spec", said Poisson, boldly. "Not only that, but it's also the closest thing we have to the common ancestor of birds and dinosaurs".

Poisson and her colleagues, unlike most paleontologists, do not believe birds evolved from maniraptorian dinosaurs, like the raptors in Jurassic Park. Instead, they claim that the evidence supports their hypothesis that birds evolved from ornithischians, a group which included stegosaurs.

"The evidence is very clear on this one", said Poisson. "Early on in their evolution, some basal stegosaurs became smaller, arboreal, and carnivorous, and their plates, initially display structures, became feathers. Birds obviously evolved from this stegosaurian sidebranch, and later produced dromaeosaurs and other maniraptors, which are actually ornithischians. Stegopenna is the last survivor of those basal avestegosaurs".

Other paleontologists were not amused. Dr. Marjanovic, of the Spec Institute for Dinosaurian Studies, was one of the first critics. "They interpreted it all wrong", he fumed. "At best, it's a basal archosaurian, or something that somehow evolved to looked vaguely stegosaurian. Besides, the suggestion that stegosaurs evolved into birds is absurd". His colleague, Prof. Tobin, was equally skeptical. "What next - scaly ornithischians in North America?" he said, icily.

Naturally, Stegopenna has stirred up debate in other fields. Prominent creationist Murgatroyd McNutt was one of the first to gloat over it. "Scientists can't even agree among each other", he said. "No matter what evilutionists say, birds did not evolve from dinosaurs". Arab creationist Ahbal Nahs echoed his view, comparing the silhouette of Stegopenna to well-chewed bubblegum.

Meanwhile, noted science-blogger Darren Naish reportedly believed that Stegopenna was distantly related to the Rhinogradentia, by way of stem-haematotherm. The results of his extensive study have yet to come out, but chances are amphisbaenians aren't included in the analysis.

Regardless, the majority of scientific opinion seems to be against birds-as-stegosaurs. But none of this furore seemed to faze Dr. Poisson. "We've got Stegopenna", she said. "We win. Nur nurny nurrr". She also adds that even her critics had nothing but positive feedback to give, providing a quote from Dr. Marjanovic saying that "the discovery of Stegopenna is a pure, unadulterated" stroke of genius.

The results of Poisson et al.'s research will come out soon, published by the Piltdown Press.

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Comments: 31

vinhavatar [2013-06-10 23:54:30 +0000 UTC]

So funny!

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PonchoFirewalker01 [2009-02-16 15:26:04 +0000 UTC]

Nice idea there, even it's meant to a joke or something......

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Sphenacodon In reply to PonchoFirewalker01 [2009-02-16 17:46:08 +0000 UTC]

Thanks! Well, it was meant to be as silly as possible, but I do like it...

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PonchoFirewalker01 In reply to Sphenacodon [2009-02-16 18:17:36 +0000 UTC]

YOu're welcome

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JohnFaa [2008-06-14 21:59:09 +0000 UTC]

The proof of completle absurdness within Spec...

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Sphenacodon In reply to JohnFaa [2008-06-16 18:32:22 +0000 UTC]

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JohnFaa In reply to Sphenacodon [2008-06-16 20:34:35 +0000 UTC]

And you smile? After I saying a bad thing about that project?

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Sphenacodon In reply to JohnFaa [2008-06-17 04:44:06 +0000 UTC]

Absurdity is a bad thing?

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JohnFaa In reply to Sphenacodon [2008-06-17 06:02:01 +0000 UTC]

Depends on the context

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Sphenacodon In reply to JohnFaa [2008-06-18 08:18:19 +0000 UTC]

Oh, okay. In this case, this one's meant to be AAAP (As Absurd As Possible).

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Michelle56 [2008-04-08 02:51:28 +0000 UTC]

CUTE! LOL!

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Sphenacodon In reply to Michelle56 [2008-04-08 06:36:45 +0000 UTC]

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EmperorDinobot [2008-04-03 21:05:37 +0000 UTC]



That's fantastic.

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Sphenacodon In reply to EmperorDinobot [2008-04-04 05:33:32 +0000 UTC]

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Rodlox [2008-04-03 18:03:40 +0000 UTC]

that's not poorly written.

though, maybe we could convince them to let us keep it...say its a monotreme? (look, a beak!)

either way, superb work!

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Sphenacodon In reply to Rodlox [2008-04-03 18:51:07 +0000 UTC]

More like catering to the layman audience (like pointing out that maniraptorians are like the raptors in Jurassic Park).

Nah, it's a joke. Stegosaurs evolving carnivory and feathers?

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Rodlox In reply to Sphenacodon [2008-04-03 20:35:57 +0000 UTC]

you don't want *Stegopenna* to survive at least to the Oligocene? *is sad*

oh...joke... I'm terrible distinguishing those; ask anyone on Spec.
(sorry)

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Sphenacodon In reply to Rodlox [2008-04-04 05:32:47 +0000 UTC]

No problem.

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thomastapir [2008-04-03 16:17:04 +0000 UTC]

This is awesome! I don't see any indication of rhinograde relation, though. Maybe if it had a trunk, like every known sauropod. ; P

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Sphenacodon In reply to thomastapir [2008-04-03 18:52:12 +0000 UTC]

Of course there's no rhinograde relation! It's as related to rhinogrades as stegosaurs are to birds. This is a 100% information-free post.

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bubblekirby In reply to Sphenacodon [2011-11-13 01:36:31 +0000 UTC]

It could be kept as a notosuchian you know.

By the way the Spec team said they are in desperate need for artists. You up for coming back?

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Sphenacodon In reply to bubblekirby [2012-07-15 22:23:18 +0000 UTC]

I would happy to! What do they need? I just need an excuse to paint things, but they've been largely dead for a long time now.

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bubblekirby In reply to Sphenacodon [2012-07-17 02:01:08 +0000 UTC]

They are currently located here: [link] if you want to talk to them.

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Sphenacodon In reply to bubblekirby [2012-07-26 11:26:37 +0000 UTC]

Oh, good, they haven't moved. What about Spec itself though?

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PousazPower [2008-04-03 15:50:22 +0000 UTC]

Ha. Piltdown Press.

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Sphenacodon In reply to PousazPower [2008-04-03 18:51:15 +0000 UTC]

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hankinstein [2008-04-03 14:48:54 +0000 UTC]

I love it! Hehehe. I probably would have fallen for it...
He looks really...cute.

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Sphenacodon In reply to hankinstein [2008-04-03 15:11:07 +0000 UTC]

Don't let his looks deceive you - he's got a mean strike a mile wide! He'll bite your finger off if you give him the chance!

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hankinstein In reply to Sphenacodon [2008-04-03 16:29:39 +0000 UTC]

Kinda like some snakes...

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Fingertier [2008-04-03 13:08:57 +0000 UTC]

Looks like my stegosaur-like coelurosaur design...(but I didn`t drawed it;

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Sphenacodon In reply to Fingertier [2008-04-03 15:09:53 +0000 UTC]

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